We're Headed for Heartbreak

Dean didn’t have time to think. Before he knew it, he was across the room. Holding his brother. Kissing his brother. And Sam was responding. Dean couldn’t do anything but entangle his fingers in Sam’s locks. He didn’t care that it was wrong; he was finally happy.

Sam reacted to the lips on his out of pure instinct. Damn it, this feels so good Sam thought, moaning and deepening the kiss. Suddenly, Sam felt dirty. He pushed Dean away, tears in his eyes. “Dean, I can’t. I want to. God, I want to, but it’s wrong! We’re brothers for God’s sake. Brothers don’t do this to each other!” He cried, dropping his face into his hands, sobs racking his body.

Dean backed off, giving his little brother space. Dean knew it was wrong, but he didn’t give a damn. He felt right and that was enough for him. “Sammy, it’s okay. What does it matter if it’s wrong? We’re all each other has. It’s not a crime to love the people around you.”

“Don’t say that, Dean! This is different, and you know that. First, you keep running through my mind for weeks. Now, you have to make me want you in a way that I shouldn’t? How-“ Sam paused, breathing to try and stop the constant flow of tears. “-do you do this to me? How can you do me this way?”

Dean couldn’t take the look Sam was giving him. The pure torment on Sam’s face obliterated Dean’s strong façade. Tears filled the older Winchester’s eyes. “Sammy, if it bothers you that much, we’ll just forget it happened, okay? We won’t bring it up again. I’m so sorry, Sammy. So sorry.” Dean tried to hold back, but a tear fell.

Sam jerked his eyes away from his brother and hurriedly donned his shoes and jacket.

Dean knew better than to stop him. The sadness slammed into Dean with the door.

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The beer did nothing to impede Sam’s thinking. His brain was running top speed, and he couldn’t do anything to stop it. Why does something that’s so wrong feel so right? Could this be what I subconsciously wanted all along? he pondered. “Shut up, shut up, shut up…” Sam grunted, palming his forehead.

Sam knew three things:
1) The beer wasn’t doing anything
2) He couldn’t avoid Dean forever
3) He didn’t know if he could do the right thing for long

Sam knew it was wrong, but to be held, to be loved, to be treated like someone special was Sam’s weakness. He didn’t know how long he could resist. Even more pressing, he didn’t know if he wanted to. He knew Dean would always be there for him, would never purposely hurt him. The love that flowed through that one kiss was enough to make Sam’s lips tingle even now. He hadn’t noticed it then, but the fireworks he felt now were undeniable. He'd made his decision, and he had to see his brother. Now.

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Dean stared at the door for hours, waiting on his brother to come back. He knew what he’d say. He’d apologize, promise to never bring it up again, and promise to take Sam back to Stanford. It killed Dean to think about having his little brother leave him. He didn’t know where the feelings came from, but he couldn’t ignore them. Dean knew if Sam was around that he’d act on them. That’s the last thing either of us needs he thought. Dean was so lost in his thoughts that he almost missed the door opening. He looked up through apologetic eyes to see Sam staring at him. Well, here goes nothing…

“Sammy, I’m so sorry. I don’t blame you if you hate me forever. I won’t ever bring it up again if that’s what you want. These feeling I have, I don’t know where they came from, but if you stick around me, I’ll act on them. And we both know that the last thing we need is tension between us.” Dean paused, steeling himself for what he had to say next. “So, that’s why-“ Dean breathing, trying to keep his voice from cracking, “that’s why I’m taking you back to Stanford. Tomorrow. I only want what’s best for you, and I can guarantee that being around me isn’t the best for you.” Dean made a confused face at Sam’s outburst of laughter.

“Dean,” Sam chuckled. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying here. With you.”

“But, Sam-“ Dean protested,

Now it was Sam’s turn to cross the room and push his lips against his brother’s. Dean pushed back enough to see Sam’s face. He opened his mouth to speak when Sam cut him off. “Dean,” Sam started, “you’re not the only one who wants this. I do too. Don’t know why. Don’t care. So just shut up and kiss me, okay?”

Dean slammed his lips back into his brother's, tears starting all over again. He was never one for chick flick moments, but when they started, they were hard to stop. Sam, who felt the wetness on his cheeks, pulled away and pushed Dean towards the bed, laying him down. “Hey, De. I’m right here. It’s okay. What’s wrong?”

Gazing up into the younger Winchester’s eyes, Dean spoke from the heart. “I thought I royally fucked up when you left. I didn’t expect you to come back. I thought I’d lost you forever. You’re the only person I have, Sammy. I can’t lose you. I just can’t.” He curled up into Sam’s chest, tangling his hands in Sam’s jacket.

“Hey,” Sam spoke softly, stroking Dean’s hair. “Look at me, Dean. Look at me.” Once he saw Dean’s emerald orbs peering up at him, he continued, moving his hand to caress the older Winchester’s face. “Of course I’d come back. I’ll always come back to you, Dean. You won’t lose me. Ever.”

“Promise you won’t hurt me?”

“Always,” the younger Winchester said with a smile. He softly pressed his lips against his brothers and sighed in content. Everything was finally right.