We're Headed for Heartbreak - Comments

OMG UPDATTTTEEEEEE xD

So, I'm liking this and you should definitely update! :)

Omg! Updateee! xD

I looooooove Supernatural! You would think since being from the south I would be used to incest, but I just can't get behind it. But comment swap sent me here, and I had a duty to read so read I did. I think the detail is stunning and the storyline is quite good. The character development is great. Keep up the good work doll :)

Oh my gosh, haha . Supernatural <3 & Dean from Gilmore Girls ! I love these two guys, they are incredibly sexyyy. Besides that fact, I really enjoyed reading this, I think it's really good & your a really great writer! I really, really, REALLY hope you update this very soon! It's very different from what I am used to reading but I love it! so please update soon, it will be greatly appreciated! xoxo :)

raww! oh my gooshh, this is sooo good! I really think you should continue soon please! I just...WOW! haha, it's just... REALLY good so far!

Loved It :D It's AMAZING you updated :D Update soon? :)

its really good

Dude, this hasn't been updated in AGESSS xD <3 xxxx Please update soon? (: It's an AMAZING story <3 I am missing it <3 xxxxxx

i LOVE THIS STORY!!!!!!!! Aww! I was reading it in the boy's voices and it was soo cool xD I loved the chapter xD Poor Sam though =(
Update soon? xxx

I only pretty much just found this and it's amazing!!!!! Sam and Dean are soo cute and Supernatural...I'm one of their biggest fans xD I love it to bits.
You gotta update ASAP! It's amazing!!!! I felt soo sorry or Sam though! Poor guy xxx
In the actual Program of this, Sam did actually love her, but it wouldn't fit in with the story if he had, so that's pretty cool xxx
Love this story soo much xxxx

I am acutally completely in love with the way that Dean is acting toward Sam, and that Dean is developing feelings for Sam as well ^_^
I love also that Dean would want to Sam top >=D
Little Brother FTW!

'Dean froze as Sam shouted at him. He'd never heard Sam so pissed and take control like that. He liked it. A lot. And he didn't know why.'

I love that we're finally seeing Dean's point of view however I feel like you're simplifying things for the sake of letting the readers know what's going on in his head. I think first and foremost he'd be worried for his brother and then the realization that he was turned on by how commanding he was would sink in later, not in the moment. That's just my opinion though.

I was really intrigued by the AU direction you took the chapter in. I'm kind of curious to know how Madison is still a sentient being even transformed into the wolf. Also, I think to make things a little richer, I could use more description on what she looks like after the transformation. I liked the silver flashing eyes bit a lot.

lol. I love the time 12:34 too.
And thanks yet again for whoring out my storeh. :D

Anyway, as always, I enjoyed this and I'm looking forward to the next chapter! :)

Thanks for continually whoring out my story for me. That's very sweet of you. And it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Anyway, onto my chapter 5 review...

'"You just wait with the car while I get us checked in," Dean said, opening his door and walking through the glass doors and up to the reception desk. Sam just sat and waited while Dean checked them in.'
- It's a little too repetitive. Instead of that last sentence I think something like 'Sam nodded and watched his brother walk into the motel office.' would work better.

'Just admiration.......jealousy?Sam reminded himself in his head.'
- I like the way Sam's trying to sort everything out and live in this very real place of denial. When I was younger and didn't fully understand that I was pansexual when I liked a girl I remember thinking the same sort of thing.

'He wanted to figure this out fast, because, to him, it was annoying as all hell.'
- I would think it would be more than annoying. And I think it's okay to say so here. He's clearly feeling very uneasy with the thoughts and emotions running through him. Sure part of it's annoyance but there's more there, I think.

'"I've still got your rendition of Metallica's 'Cyanide' stuck in my head. Talk about painful."'
- Yay for classic rock references!

'No, Dean, don't....leave, Sam thought the word leave just as the door closed.'
- I think you can phrase that better like. No Dean, don't -- The door slammed. leave. Just so you're showing the action instead of telling about it.

I'm really interested on the spin you've put on Sam for this whole Madison thing. It's kinda cool and I'm curious to see this play out with her death and what he makes of that.

Also, I'm starting to get really curious as to Dean's thought process in all of this. I understand if you've made the decision to tell the story through Sam's eyes but I'm still gettin' itchy to know what Dean's deal is.

Great job, looking forward to the next chappie.

'What?! That must've been the buzz talking last night. I'm straight. Dean is just Dean.'
Bwahaha. Alcohol brings out your inhibitions, it doesn't make you gay, Sammy. Come out of the closet, boy. You hot fo' yo' brotha! lol. Sorry.

'"I'm assuming this is your brother, Dean. Nice to meet you, I'm Cheyenne."

"I'm Dean, but you knew that," Dean replied'

It doesn't really make sense for Dean to repeat his name after Cheyenne has already said it. So I would cut out her acknowledging his name and just keep in the "I'm assuming this is your brother" part. Makes the dialogue more authentic and organic. That's just my opinion though.

'Sam tried to boost his thoughts as he and his older brother walked out the library, waved good-bye to Cheyenne, and walked out the library.'

A little repetition there that can be easily fixed.

Overall, great chapter. :)

I started reading this with my friend Adriana and I just caught up today :)

I really like how you keep the chapters short but as detailed as possible. Also, you just made my day when I saw this line: " Sam had spaced and started thinking about his brother's eyes: how they weren't just one color, how easily you could lost in them without trying....... "

In every other fiction I've read they always give a solid eye color but its different in each one and it just drive me up the wall!! So thank you for that :)

I also liked chapter 4. It's cool how they run into Cheyenne again and Sam is so cute with his hangover!! lol. Plus the fact that Sam is so preoccupied thinking about Dean, he can't even do his research!!

On thing that kind of put me off was that the word beer shows up quite a bit through-out the length of chapter 3. But other than that it was awesome.

Especially Dean's little bit here: "Dude, what happened with you and that smokin' chick? I saw you two chattin' it up. I turn my back for two seconds and she's storming off? How could you turn that down?" I love how he always gives his input on Sammy's love life XD

Its a very good story so far and I can't wait until you update again <3

Oh goodness, I had to catch up here. I had to read 4 and 5 today!
veryyy sad that you left, and I'm hoping you update soon!
I love itttt, just thought you might have wanted to know! (:
Wooohooo! lol
~Ashleyy

The first paragraph of chapter three, you say beer a lot. I think you could cut back by calling it the bottle or the drink at some point just so it doesn't get too repetitive.

Or as my friend put it: "Dean took a swig of the alcoholic beverage, sensuously licking his lips as he scolded Sam for being such a workaholic." ROFL

" Sam sighed, defeated, and grabbed his coat. "That's the spirit, Sammy!" Dean cheered. " ~ Liked this line. I can picture it perfectly and it fits with the show. Good fanfiction does that. :)

Also like the description of Cheyenne too.

" Sam had spaced and started thinking about his brother's eyes: how they weren't just one color, how easily you could lost in them without trying....... " ~ My friend Sylvia just shouted THANK YOU because we've been having the discussion about how you can never tell what color the boys' eyes are because they change. Literally had this conversation like three times today.

Not that we're obsessed or anything...

And as for you not being all too fond of this chapter, I like it. However I think you could dig deeper into the emotions Sam's feeling behind his observations about Dean. (And behind those bangs.) 'Cause I know he's kinda wasted but I think there's more there.

Very nice!

And thank you soooo much for mentioning me and mah story in your author's note. I feel honored! :) *HUGGLE*

That chapter was not bad. I liked it very much. Good Job!

That chapter was not bad. I liked it very much. Good Job!