'Til My Bitter End

Oliver was at his second therapy session which was today on Friday. I was finishing some tattoo sketches before I had to get ready and meet the boys for dinner. I suddenly felt sick to my stomach. I dropped my pencil and sprinted to the bathroom.

I vomited the contents of my breakfast into the white shining porcelain. What the fuck. All I’d eaten was oatmeal and toast and fruit. Nothing could of caused me to puke. I had been eating a lot in the past week but I didn’t really care.

I counted on my fingers the last time I had my period. It was over a month and half ago.

“Shit.” I said under my breath. This literally had to be a joke. I thought Oliver had used a condom every time but I mean there were really too many times in the past month that I couldn’t count.

I pulled on a knitted sweater and grabbed my car keys. I slipped on my uggs and was out the door. I wasn’t even thinking about anything I was just focused on getting to the closet store.

I rushed in not even bothering to lock my car. I ran to feminine needs and grabbed 3 different Pregnancy tests and a jug of peach tea. I paid quickly, and sped back home merely luck I wasn’t pulled over.

I had already downed the jug of tea and luckily had to pee.

I went into the bathroom and shut the door. I unpacked all three sticks and grabbed one placing it between me and the toilet. I quickly peed on all three of them and put a timer on my phone. The three minutes were excruciatingly long. The timer went off and I wasn’t sure I should look at the white plastic sticks now or never.

“God dammit.” I picked up one and it gave me a blue plus sign. The other a pink plus sign and the other a blue plus sign. Regardless of the gender confusion, all were plus signs. All were positive. I was pregnant. The idea of abortion quickly rushed through my head and I felt ashamed. Could I still have sex with Oliver? I didn’t know whether to cry or call Oliver or wait for him to get home or... And then I realized I had to get ready to meet the boys in half an hour. I put the tests in my nightstand drawer wrapped in toilet paper and quickly got dressed. Suddenly wanting to wear the tightest thing I owned, knowing if I kept the baby I would have to wear hideous maternal clothing. Oliver probably wouldn’t even want me after the hell of having a baby weather on my nearly perfect body.

I don’t know if I could function with Oliver wanting me constantly like he does. And then our possible future flashed before my eyes. Oliver was chugging a beer watching some raunchy sitcom and I was taking care of 3 children. My vagina had become a gaping hole and I knew Oliver was cheating on me I just didn’t want to confront him and break up the family. He and his bandmates were still close they just no longer toured. Oliver was still hot and I was full of wrinkles and I had gained 40 pounds.

I blinked and wanted to cry. I didn’t want that to be us. I wanted us to both be hot and still be fucking every night. Did Oliver even want a baby? I mean he was in the pinnacle of his career.

I continued to think every negative thing possible until I parked in front of the pub. I got out and locked the car. I walked in and looked for a table full of loud tattooed boys. And there I saw Oliver. He was laughing at something and it brought a smile to my face and I sighed. He was so perfect. I hung my coat by the door and walked over to Oliver. He looked up and saw me, his eyes widened and he smirked.

“Hey boys!” I said waving and taking my rightful spot next to Oliver. He scooted closer to me and planted a kiss on my lips. I grabbed his hand and set it on my thigh, his touch always comforted me.

“What’s with you dress?” He whispered in my ear. I had almost forgotten why’d I put on this tight dress, but it came to my mind again.

“Just wanted to look nice for you.”

“Love, you look nice in everything. And I hope you know I’m going to rip that off the second we get home.”

I just kissed him again fighting the tears.

---

Oliver really wasn’t kidding. I opened the door and he pushed me up against the wall and stripped the coat from my body. He peeled down the dress from my shoulders and exposed my breasts. He kissed me all over and all I could think about was the small fetus attached to my womb. I started to cry and Oliver stopped.

“Mel, what did I do?” He asked panicked. He placed the dress back on my shoulders and pulled me into him. I wrapped my arms around his small waist. I need him so much closer. I pressed myself into and cried into his shoulder.

“Baby.” He stated rubbing my back.

“Sit down and tell me whats wrong my love.” He pulled me to the huge leather couch and I scooted close to him and wrapped myself around him.

“Babe.” He let a chuckle slip. I laughed too, I was acting like I was attached to him. I pulled away slightly and he grabbed my face with his hands, brushing my tears away.

“Oliver.”

“Yes, love.”

“I’m pregnant.” Oliver dropped his hand from my face and grabbed my hand. He looked into my eyes and down at our hands. Our hands fit perfectly together and my rings shinied in the moon light through the window. His tattoo hands had become one of my favorite things.

“I...I can’t lose you. I know you probably don’t want a fucking screaming child right now, and I don’t want us to be one of those married couples who had their children to young and hate eachother. Or you’ve found someone as hot as you and I’m covered in stretch marks and I gained weight. And...and you don’t want me anymore--” My voice broke and I broke down again. I was saying what I truly thought out loud and it scared the shit out of me.

Oliver pulled me and I was sure his shirt was soaking wet by now. I cried for a few minutes until I couldn’t breath anymore and settled down. I fought off the hiccups and tried to stop sniffling. I looked into his brown eyes that I had fell in love with and I just needed him to hold me and tell me everything was okay, but it wasn’t. I knew I had ruined his life.

“Melody Marie Sykes.” He said breaking out into a smile and I furrowed my eyebrows.

“I honestly cannot picture myself not wanting you. You’re god damn perfect. And I don’t just mean you’re body which I would kiss even if it had stretch marks. I’m not just in love with your body anymore, I’m in love with who you are.” A tear fell from my eye and I smiled. I wanted more than anything to believe him but I didn’t want to be naive.

“We aren’t 16, and jobless baby. We are both successful and in our mid twenties. I’m not touring for a couple years, I’m writing and recording music so I’ll be around to help you. All I know is I’m never leaving your side. I’m in love with you, and our baby will be the sexiest thing on the planet.” He added with a laugh.

“Jesus, Oliver. I’m so in love with you, I don’t even know how to express it!” I exclaimed.
I just wanted tell him and show him how much I loved him.

“Baby I know how much you love me. But it’s not as much as I love you.” He joked. I just leaned in and kissed him.

“So are we really gonna have a baby?” I questioned.

“I’ll stand by you, no matter what you decide.” He added sweetly.

“I love you.”

“I love you more.”

“You’re a little fucker though, you should of used a condom.” He smirked at me and I laughed.

“You want to fuck me all the time Mel, I don’t always have one on me.”

“Stop being so fucking sexy then.” Damn I loved this boy. And I guess we were having a baby.