I'm a Walking Travesty

When I woke up the next morning, I was alone on Peter’s bed. I turned to look at the clock only to realize that it was nine in the morning. I rolled out of bed and went into the bathroom that was attached to his room and splashed my face with cold water. I didn’t know what I was going to do today and I didn’t want to have to think about that. But the sad thing was that I had to.

I slowly made my way to Peter’s bedroom door. I was about to twist it open when I realized that there were other people in the house now. How was I going to show my face to the world ever again? I mean I know I might sound a little overdramatic but Zack told them things about me. I didn’t want to be judged but from what I heard yesterday, they weren’t the kind of guys who were most likely to keep their mouth shut when they heard something.

But I had to keep it together. I had to get through this. So once I thought I had enough courage, I walked out of Peter’s bedroom and made my way to the stairs. Fortunately for me, they were all sleeping with their mouths open. One of them was even snoring loudly.

I sighed in relief as I made my way up the stairs silently but little did I know that someone was already waiting for me to venture into my room. Zack had this sympathetic look about his eyes when we saw each other. I looked away quickly and tried to rush into my room but he blocked it with is gigantic build.

“Please talk to me,” he begged in a whisper as he held my wrist.

“What do you want me to say, Zack?” I asked him, biting my bottom lip.

“Something, anything, I don’t know. Just don’t leave me in this state I’m in.” He was desperate but was I in the mood to care? No.

“Look, I’m not the one who got you in to this mess. You placed yourself in it. Now you have to go and look for a way out,” I told him and jerked my wrist away.

He was shocked. I saw it in the way his eyes were wide open and staring. I shoved him aside as I made my way into my room. I shut the door and locked it. I wanted to cry but I couldn’t. I had no more tears to suffice whatever I was feeling but that’s actually a good thing. It just goes to show that I won’t be the girl who does nothing to fix the problems in her life. For once, I’m actually fending for myself.

I took a shower and changed into some casual clothes before heading down the stairs with one word in my head – fearless. Now, that might sound like something Taylor Swift would say but I don’t know. I just feel that way and I actually feel great. I checked my hair in the mirror in the foyer before heading into the kitchen to grab something to eat.

As I walked to the kitchen, I felt a few eyes follow my every move. I didn’t care though. If they wanted to judge me with what Zack told them, then maybe they should. All that I’m saying is that I’m sick of caring about what other people think of me and what I do. Why can’t they just mind their own business?

I grabbed a bowl and the box of cereal from the pantry. Cocoa Pebbles were my favorite. I dropped a certain amount of it into my bowl before grabbing the milk from the fridge and pouring it in. I sat on the island counter as I ate. My phone buzzed in my pocket so I grabbed it and checked the screen.

I got a message from an old friend named Kayla. She was one of my best friends back in high school and we never were able to keep in touch ever since but I’m glad she texted me at this moment in time because I was feeling really awkward. It was as if I was some big-time star and the guys sitting on the dining table were freakin’ starstruck.

Kayla told me about how she called our house back home to reach me but my mom told her that I was here in California. Kayla said that she was actually in California and claimed to see me in the beach we went to yesterday but she just had to make sure. I smiled at the message and told her that we had to hang out some time.

I took another bite of cereal before one of them – the bald one with the unusually white teeth – came up to me and stood right across me.

“Hey, uh, we’re sorry for everything that went down yesterday. We didn’t mean for you to hear any of that. It’s just that we were so surprised and we couldn’t hold our tongues,” the guy said sounding sincere.

I took into consideration his apology and thought about snubbing it but I wasn’t that kind of person. “Thanks,” I said with a smile as I took another bite of cereal. I was actually pretty hungry.

“My name’s Rian. The guy right there on the left is Alex and the one beside him is Jack,” he introduced and I smiled and waved as they came over to me.

“I’m Mia but you all probably knew that already,” I told them and they all laughed.

We started to talk about the most random things from if I’ve ever been to Disneyland to if I liked Blink 182 and Fall Out Boy.

“That’s like my whole music scene right there,” I told them and they stared at me like I just swallowed a fly.

“We just thought you were someone who’d most likely listen to the Jonas Brothers or something,” Jack mentioned and I smacked him in the head.

“Hey! Their second album was pretty okay,” I said sending them all into fits of laughter. What they didn’t know was that I actually meant it. But they didn’t really have to know that.

It took me time to realize that I was actually just socializing with the people who I thought were bad people. I just smiled to myself as I embraced the moment I had with my new friends. I haven’t laughed like this in days and just being with them already sets my spirits high.

“So where are you headed?” Alex asked looking me up and down.

“I was actually planning on heading out with a friend.” Kayla told me that she’d meet me at the Starbucks close to the beach she saw me in about twenty minutes ago but I did tell her that I was gonna be running a little late.

“Would you mind the company?” Rian asked.

“Not at all,” I told them and with that we left the house.

We all got into the car that Peter said they could borrow and made our way to the Starbucks a few blocks from the house. I didn’t know what they were all talking about. I was just staring out the window when suddenly, I felt a tap on my shoulder.

Alex and I were sitting in the back seat while Jack took shotgun and Rian drove. Alex asked me how I was holding up. “I know what it’s like to have someone pass away like that,” he told me with the saddest eyes.

I smiled as I looked up at him. “I’m holding up fine, I guess,” I told him.

He was going to say something else when Jack asked his opinion on something. He wasn’t paying attention and he couldn’t think of anything to answer him with.

I thought about how Alex said those words to me and wondered what the story behind those sad eyes was. But we were already at the coffee shop and Kayla was waving at me. I was about to wave back when all of a sudden, Zack came out of nowhere, spun her around and kissed her right in the lips.

And just like that, my heart got smashed into pieces all over again.