Just Another Lovesick Boy

"Have you ever considered the idea that maybe she didn't mean for it to happen?"

I had. Of course I had. I hoped that had been the case. I dreamed of it. But I just could not figure it out. It had been two weeks since it happened and it had been twelve days since she stopped talking to me. My skin was back to its normal pink tone but my hair was still glowing a slight shade of blue, much to Eddy's pleasure and chagrin. But she no longer even acknowledged my existence. It was like the previous years all over again. It seemed as if any encounter between her and me never happened. I sometimes did wonder if it really did happen all. My only proof, besides the paint under my nails and the tint to my hair, was that she did not smile the way she used to. She would still offer smiles to everyone but she would always look down and away from the eyes of everyone at school. I could not say if it was an act or not but it did not seem like the real Nara Lee to me. I bit the inside of my cheek before I stared up into the big round eyes that were looking down at me.

"Well, yeah. But she never denied she didn't."

"Maybe it's 'cause you don't talk to her."

"True, but she never even apologized."

"She’s confusing," she said after a moment.

"So you understand me now?"

"Yes."

"Yeah, and Cassandra keeps giving me dirty looks. Ugh, I hate her."

"Adrian, don't hate, it's not nice."

"And I suppose throwing paint filled balloons at innocent people is?" I asked sarcastically.

"Oh, and did Eddy tell you that that girl that was hanging out with them is ignoring him now," Free continued as if I never spoke. "He thinks Cassandra told her something bad about him. Don't tell him I told you, but he's devastated."

"That explains why he's been somewhat down. You think I should talk to her?"

"Nara Lee or Anya?"

"Who do you think?"

"Both?" she asked hopefully.

"Anya."

"Darn. But yeah, it would help him. I’d like my brother back, please."

The sound of slow, stomping feet came from the staircase behind me. I heard the smacking of lips before a loud sigh. I turned my head slightly to glance at Eddy, who was slouching in the middle of the doorway. He was absolutely drowning in his white shirt and slightly baggy jeans. Only a small layer of black eyeliner covered his eyes, instead of his usual flamboyant red eye shadow and liner. It was only now - now that I knew the cause of Eddy's recent lack of liveliness - that I saw how truly sad he really was over the loss of Twiggy part two.

"Ready, Age?" he said after he donned on an obviously strained smile.

"Sure, Eddy," I said softly as I scrambled up from my position on the floor. I picked up my folder and was making my way toward him when Free spoke again.

"No hug goodbye, Adrian?"

I stopped and smiled before turning around and walking toward her. I pushed the hair on her forehead back before kissing the top of her head. She was always there for me when I absolutely needed it. She always gave me the advice I desperately needed.

"Love you, Freedom," I said as I kept my lips on her head.

"Love you, too, Adrian," Free smiled up at me.

I gave her a grin as I ruffled her hair. She gave a whine of protest and straightened her hair before I turned around to follow Eddy out the door. Eddy was silent as we walked towards school. I glanced at him through the corner of my eyes before noticing something behind us. I turned around to see Nara Lee walking with her head bowed. I looked down to the floor before turning back around. I nudged Eddy on the arm, causing him to look up. I gave him a meaningful stare and he only sighed back before rubbing the back of his head.

“I don’t even know, Age.”

“Free told me about Anya. You have been acting off lately, man. What’s wrong?”

“She told me she heard some shit about me,” he shrugged.

“Like?” I pressed.

“It doesn’t matter, dude.”

“Yeah, it does. You’re acting weird.”

“Weird how?”

“This!” I exclaimed, gesturing to his attire. “Your hair isn’t done, you barely have makeup on, and look at your clothes! I didn’t even know you had pants like this,” I said as I tugged on his pants.

He grimaced as he smacked my hands away. “I don’t want to talk about it, Adrian.”

“You know I’m just going to keep bugging you until you tell me.”

“No, Adrian.”

“Edward James Devereux, you tell me right now. Blood brothers don’t keep secrets.”

Eddy froze before turning to look at me with a blank expression. His eyes slowly narrowed before he grabbed me and stuck me in a headlock. I let out a groan of protest as I hit his side while he pulled me around. I rolled my eyes as he began to drag me towards the school.

“Come on, Eddy, don’t be a dick,” I laughed before pushing myself out of his arms.

“I hate it when you use that blood pact against me,” he said as he fixed my hair.

“It was your idea,” I grinned and leaned my head on his shoulder.

“Fuck, I was stupid.”

“Tell me, Eddy.”

“She said that she heard people saying that I used girls.”

“Who said this and what girls?” I asked as I straightened out and narrowed my eyes.

“She wouldn’t say. But she did say she couldn’t hang out with people like me.”

I stared at Eddy sadly as he went silent and stared down at the pacing concrete below us. It was times like this that I absolutely hated. I could not stand it when there was a pain that Eddy felt that I never did. I would have felt so much better if I knew what he was experiencing because then we could hurt together. Times like this made feel helpless. I knew there were no words that I could say. Even if there were, I knew that Eddy would not want to hear them. It was always hard seeing my best friend suffer. Each time he hurt, I was tragically reminded of when his mom died. I was continuously reminded of how Eddy barely cried. He was barely even there. I would always be haunted by the dead look in his blue eyes. It took months for Eddy to smile every day again. It took a year for some sort of emotion to fill his eyes again. It was times when he hurt that reminded me of his thirteen year old face. Remembering that face told me what I had to do.



“Anya, I need to talk to you.”

Automatically, all the people in the large group sitting together turned their heads to stare up at me. Cassandra and Phillip leaned back immediately and smirked at my presence. The roar in the cafeteria faded into background noise but I could not help but hear the scathing remarks from the people who sat on the performance stage. I made a point to not look at Cassandra, instead moving my glance to Anya – right after my eyes quickly passed over the remaining blonde – who stared up at me with her lips slightly parted and her eyes curious.

"Adrian? Hi, how are you?" she asked softly.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I asked harshly.

She blinked once and her head reared back in surprise. She quickly glanced at Cassandra before looking at me. “Excuse me?”

“Why would you do that to Eddy? He hasn’t done anything wrong.”

“Oh, please. He’s a total fucking pervert. He, like, totally tried to rape Melanie Shaw. And I heard he felt up Lara Nicholson, too,” Cassandra said as she put her chin in the palm of her hand.

“And I heard that you gave head to Brent Anderson at Nick Sullivan’s party last week. I guess I might believe that rumor, too. But hey, it’s you, so it must be true,” I spat at her.

Cassandra jaw clenched as she narrowed her eyes at me. Phillip’s left fist clenched together as his grip on Cassandra’s waist tightened. A few of the people in the group glanced warily at each other while some let out small snickers. Anya gave Cassandra a shocked stare as the remaining blonde looked up at me with her lips parted.

“Adrian, that wasn’t nice,” Anya said as she pushed her hair back.

“Well, neither was ignoring Eddy after believing a rumor. Are you really going to believe everything you hear in life? You’re going to get nowhere if you keep acting like that.”

“I know,” she said softly. “I shouldn’t have done that to Eddy.”

“Don’t tell me that. Tell him that. Do us all a favor and stop hanging out with assholes.”

“Adrian!”

“Please don’t tell me you think I went all Smurf on purpose,” I said before glancing at Cassandra and Phillip.

“You did that?” she asked them in shock.

“Don’t be so surprised. It was a joke,” Cassandra laughed before leaning back against the wall.

“That has to be the worst joke I have ever heard,” Anya said in a serious tone before standing up and grabbing her bag.

“Where are you going?” Phillip demanded to know.

“Away from all of you. Do you really think you’re going to be anything useful in life when you’re so heartless? I pity you,” Anya said told them before grabbing my arm and pulling me away.

“Sorry for snapping at you like that,” I whispered as we walked outside the cafeteria and towards my usual table on the terrace.

“It’s okay. I deserved it. Sometimes I need a wakeup call like that.”

“Thanks for coming back with me.”

“How is he?”

“He’s wearing pants that don’t cling to him like paint; it’s freaking me out. He does this when he’s upset.”

“Dress normally?” she questioned.

“Changes himself,” I corrected. “I never figured out why, but when Eddy gets seriously upset, he’ll try to change everything about it. His hair used to be way longer, you know.”

“What do you mean?”

“Sometime last year, he got really upset and he just shaved his hair off. It took me a week to make him realize his mistake.”

“I can’t imagine him that upset.”

“This is barely anything,” I whispered as I thought about all my memories with Eddy.

We walked towards the table in silence. Eddy was sitting in the partial shade with his head on the table. His arms were crossed over his stomach but his usual blue teddy bear was absent. His long fingers were tapping his left arm anxiously, one of Eddy’s nervous habit. He stared forward into absent space with his eyes almost near void of any emotion. I put a hand on Anya’s arm, motioning for her to stay put, before walking towards Eddy. I pulled out a blue raspberry lollipop from my pocket and held it in front of Eddy’s face. He looked up at me wordlessly before looking at the lollipop.

“I never thought I’d see the great Eddy Devereux so upset over a girl.”

“She’s different, Age.”

“Dude, she’s just a girl,” I told him.

“Don’t say that. I never met a girl like her. And I fucked up,” he sighed as he looked up at me.

“Well, since you’re such a fucking douche who just sits there, I decided to play knight and saved the princess from the dragon,” I said before looking over my shoulder at Anya.

He straightened up to peer at me curiously before turning around in his seat to look past my form at her. A small smile crept up on his face as she stood there awkwardly. I nodded at her and motioned her to come over. She slowly made her way towards the table before sitting down. Anya shrugged uncomfortably before smiling at Eddy.

“Hey there, double D.”

“Hey, Twiggy.”

“I’m sorry for what I said.”

“I’m sorry for not being a knight.”

“You know, when I was little, I always thought, ‘what if my knight is waiting for me to rescue him instead?’” she told him with a small smile.

Eddy cocked his head to the side as he processed her statement. He stared at her for a few seconds, his eyes wandering over her face, as if he still could not believe that she was not actually there. I stared at the both of them, wondering what would happen between them. I could only hope that things would work out between them. Eddy had always been my best friend, my brother. I had seen him through all of his difficult times and I had seen him when he went through all of his relationships. But I had never seen him act this way over a girl. Whenever he got together with a girl, he treated her the way he treated all girls. Whenever he broke up with a girl, they would usually stop talking to each other and he never showed any sign of missing them. But in knowing Anya for only a couple of weeks, Eddy had changed. It seemed like his eyes were always searching for her. He was at ease when she was around. I hoped that Anya would always be there for him, maybe even as just a friend.

Eddy licked his lips as he stared at her seriously. His lips slowly curled up into a small smile. He gave me a glance before turning back to her. He held out his still unwrapped blue lollipop to her. She looked down at the candy in his hand before peering up at him. She reached cautiously before taking the lollipop from him.

“How about we save each other?”

Eddy had more profound moments than my mom realized.