It's Time to Forget, but I'll Always Remember

I turned back to look at him one last time before getting my keys out of my blazer to open the door. As I did so I saw out of the corner of my eye that Capper started to walk down the road, most likely to go back home or cause some mischief.

I felt sort of sad as I watched him turn around, it meant I couldn’t see his face anymore but I did let my eyes trail down a liiiittle too far and got a nice view.

I shook me head and wiped the thought from my mind, I can’t think of him like that! He’s my friend!

“Capper!” I shouted without realising quite what I was doing.

I strolled down the driveway again, after shutting the door, to meet him again.

“Yeah?” he replied, slightly confused as to what I wanted.

What should I say? I can’t just go ”Oh I just wanted you to stay longer so I could look at your gorgeous face” can I now? That’d just be weird…but in reality that’s what I wanted to do.

“Eeeerrrm…” he gave me an odd look so I knew I had to start thinking a little more clearly if I didn’t want to look like a complete loser in front of him. “Would you…like to come inside?” I asked shyly.

NO! Why the hell did I ask him that!? Sebastian and Ciel are going to be in, I’m sure of it! And if he sees them he’ll think that I’m weird because I live with them. Well, it’s not like I can un-ask him now is it? I just hope he doesn’t say yes…well, I sort of do too.

I glanced up at him to see him smiling at me.

“Sure” he grinned “I want to know you’re being looked after properly”

He…what?

I beamed back at him before walking back up my drive and opening the door as quietly as I could; maybe if I just sneaked him upstairs and back out again later then no one would ever know about it. Slowly I opened the door and peeked my head through to see no one in the living room.

“Hey…what are you doing?” Capper question.

“Erm, well…just checking no one else was in” I laughed nervously. I’ve been doing that a lot around him lately.

“Oh. I see” he responded, giving me an odd look.

It looked like the coast was clear so if I could just…

“Are you scared to go in your own home?” Capper laughed.

I blushed deeply before stepping inside and taking my shoes off, gesturing him to do the same too. The whole time he was taking to take them off I constantly looked around and ushered for him to hurry up. Why did he take so long?

Almost as soon as they were off I started walking hastily across the living room and to the bottom of the stairs, hoping that Capper was close behind.

”Yes! I’ve done it” I thought as I reached the staircase. But oh how wrong I was. How very, very wrong.

“Cadence? You back?” Ciel walked in to the room and instantly noticed the new arrival. “Oh, who’s this?” he asked.

“Hi” Capper walked towards him and extended a hand “I’m Capper. I’m a friend” he smiled.

“Nice to meet you” Ciel responded happily and shook hands. “I’m glad Cadence found a friend; he’s been saying he felt lonely at school.”

I felt my face slowly melt in to a frown as I saw Capper smirk and glance back at me. God, why did Ciel have to be home? No doubt as soon as Sebastian comes in they’re going to be snogging each others’ faces off despite the company. Wait…Capper said he was my friend. I felt a warm feeling surround my body as I thought that and my stomach went all tingly.

“You staying here for tea?” Ciel questioned “We wouldn’t mind.”

My warm feeling vanished as he said that. No! He can’t bloody well stay for tea! I had to fight back the raging urge to say that and just let Capper decide; I wouldn’t want to seem rude now would I?

“No thank you” he politely declined.

Politely? What the hell was going on? Capper would never act like this in school, he’d usually just shrug off a handshake and go tell them to stuff it. He’d even act like that with teachers: being rude and noisy in class, never doing as he was told and no manners whatsoever, so why was he acting like this with Ciel?

“My folks are expecting me home for tea, but thank you for the offer” he added.

“Oh okay then” Ciel grinned “Oh and by the way Cadence: Sebby said works making all of them work extra hours because something important came up, I’ll make tea. Is spaghetti Bolognese alright?”

“Ummm, yeah. Thanks Ciel” I mumbled before beginning to climb the stairs, closely followed by Capper.

Hurriedly I made my way in to my room and shut the door after Capper was inside. He instantly made his way over to my bed and sat down, feeling my duvet. I have to say that lately I’d been seeing the more sensitive side of him; he paid attention to me more and smiled at me if I walk by him in the corridor. Well, does going from frowning to smirking at me count? Not to mention what he asked me before.

”Are you gay?”

It still rang clearly in my mind. Although I said no I was actually starting to question it myself. I mean, every time I’m near Capper or make even the slightest bit of contact I blush madly and act all clumsy (not to mention when he fell on top of me) and yet I’ve never found myself to feel that way about a girl.

I always told myself that I hadn’t met the right one yet and that eventually I’ll get intimate about them but I never have. It’s only ever been Capper that I’ve felt that way for. Does that make me gay?

“Soooooooo… what do you want to do?” Capper asked, breaking me from my thoughts.
“Umm, I don’t know. Want to just…talk?” I suggested.

“Ok, what about?”

That was obvious.

“You” I replied.