Spontaneous Ways of Augusta Hunt

Once upon a time, in the far of land of the United States, there lived a girl. She had the prettiest clothes (pink, purple, and top-of-the-line), the prettiest hair, and she even lived in a pretty house. Hell – even her friends were pretty. Needless to say, this girl lived a pretty good life. And this girl is me.

My life had always been amazing. I've always gotten whatever I want.

Then my life took a dramatic turn.

It all started on the morning of my seventeenth birthday. I woke up cheerfully when I realized the date and rushed to the bathroom to freshen up. I glanced in the mirror and smiled at my reflection; something told me that today was going to be great. After I brushed my teeth and washed my face, I exited the bathroom and hurried downstairs. As I ran downstairs, I passed by my three brothers. They were sitting on the bottom staircase trying to write another song.

“Hey, Augusta!” the youngest of the three cheered, setting down his guitar.

“Hey, Nick!” I replied with the same angry enthusiasm.

“Happy birthday!” Joe, another brother of mine said (Do you get it? My brothers are the Jonas Brothers! Because of them, I'm SO popular at my high school.). My three brothers started singing the “Happy Birthday Song” to me. Tears shed from my eyes as they played; it was that bad.Their voices weren't the best – in fact I hated their cover, but it was the thought that counted. Duh.

When they finished the song, I clapped ferociously and headed off to the kitchen to make toast. I had expected to see my mother, but she was nowhere in sight. I figured she was still asleep. Like always, my mother would spend my birthday ignoring me. I got some bread and angrily shoved it into the toaster.

Then the unthinkable happened.

The toaster began to shake uncontrollably and before I could do anything, it exploded. Bits and pieces of the toaster flew everywhere, little flames trailing after them.

“My toast!” I shouted sadly, as two black squares of what used to be bread landed smoothly in my hands. Anger bubbled inside me as the dark toast crumbled to pieces. “I wanted toast! And if it's my birthday, I'm going to get that toast!” I screamed on the top of my lungs, until it felt as if the whole house was shaking. I stopped shouting and started breathing heavily – only to realize that the house actually was shaking!

My eyes wide, I ran in between the door and shouted, “EARTHQUAKE!”

I closed my eyes shut, waiting for the impact of falling furniture. Though, to my surprise, nothing was shaking out of place. In fact, the more I became aware of my surroundings, the more I realized there was only one area of the house that was shaking: the bathroom.

BOOM.

The house shook a little, and I heard a screech coming from the washroom. I hurriedly ran to the room, only to see my brother, Kevin, red in the face and breathing heavy.

"All I was doing was dropping a load! Then all of a sudden....BOOM!" Kevin said, rubbing his bum angrily.

I suppressed laughter, as he whined and trudged to his room, still clutching his buttocks. I peered closer into the bathroom and saw that only the toilet had been dislodged from its original location. Running my fingers through my hair, I couldn't believe what had happened – or how.

At that moment, my mother rushed into the room, her mouth opened wide.

“What happened?” she asked, her eyes wide.

“I don't know!” I began to sob, “First the toaster, now the toilet! Why is this happening? And on my birthday, at that!”

“Augusta,” my mother said carefully, “I know why these things happened.”

I stopped crying and looked to her in disbelief. “What?”

“Augusta, the reason why things have been acting this way,” she began, “is because you're a witch.”

“I'M A WHAT!?”