Someone out There Loves You

“Have I ever mentioned how much I hate the—“
“Blake Austin, if you dare say ‘desert’, I’ll stab you with my drumsticks.”
“OH my God, that would be an awesome stage stunt!” Monster and Drew looked at me like I was crazy.
“I agree,” Mark said, pushing his reading glasses up on his nose and writing something into his morning crossword.
I hitched my thumb to him. “He agrees with me—how about you, Molly?”
“Shhh,” she said. “I’m meditating.”
“You’re standing in front of the open freezer,” Levi said, “With your eyes closed and a blissful look on your face.”
“Would you like my face to be pissed off?”
“Ooooommmm….” Levi’s attempt to spare himself from the wrath of Iero.
Speaking of Iero, they bungee jumped fifty more times. Roughly. I went with them a couple of those times, despite my fear. Obviously Drew went again. We finally had to stop when Frank was nearly sick. (“You’re green again,” I smiled. He flipped me off and suppressed a grin.) Yet slowly but surely he was adapting to my new name for him: Frankenstein.
Just then my phone rang. “Oh Dali Lama on ice,” I called in a sugar-sweet voice, “Your daddy’s on the phone.”
“Well I suggest you answer it, Clayah dear.”
"Well he is your father, buttermuffin."
"And it is your phone, candy toosh."
"Noodle noms, just answer it."
"I AM BEING COLD RIGHT NOW SO YOU ANSWER THE GODDAMNED PHONE."
I pressed the green button while I rolled my eyes. “Sup sup, Frakenstein.”
“TURN AROUND, GUYS!” I had to hold the phone away before my eardrum burst. “TURN AROUND, OR WE’LL GET BAKED. NOT IN A GOOD WAY.”
“Slow down, slow down,” I said. “What's wrong?”
There was a ruckus on the other end of the phone. “Clayah?” Mikey said.
“Yeah, it’s me.”
“You guys need to come back and save us right the fuck now.”
“ What happened?”
“Bert happened,” Mikey growled. I heard Bert in the background yelling apologies.
“What do you mean ‘Bert happened’?” The rest of the bus looked at me for the explanation I didn’t have.
There was more noise from the phone. “It’s not my fault,” Bert pleaded, “Swear to God!”
“Tell me what happened, Bert.”
“Okay, so you know how I helped My Chem pack up their shit after I packed up ours?”
“I do now.”
“Oh. Well, anyway, I did. And uhm… well, everything was packed really tight in both of the spaces underneath the buses? So when I was putting Jeph and Mikey’s basses underneath each bus I had to shove really hard, you know? And I kinda… hit the gas tanks.”
“WHAT?”
“Chill out, chill out,” Bert said.
“No, I won’t chill out!” I sighed and pinched the top of my nose. “If there’s anything else you care to say, say it now.”
Bert was quiet for a second. “Uhm… I may have helped pack up Green Day’s bus, too.”
“MAY have?” Billie screamed.
“Motherfuck, Bert!”
“I. AM. SORRY.” he said. “Will you guys just please turn around and get us? We’re not that far behind you.”
I huffed a little. “Fine, we’ll be there soon.”

“Why are you so sunburned already?” Mark asked.
“Guess who accidently locked both of the buses,” Gerard moaned.
They were now resting in the shade of all three buses, but fading fast. All of Rush And Ruin and all the buses drivers were with them. The only person still on a bus was Levi, who was napping.
“I miss the freezer,” Molly said.
“I miss air conditioning in general,” Monster said.
“I miss Washington.”
“I miss ice baths.”
“You two,” Tre grunted, “Say one more thing about the cold, and I will bite your heads off.” Dead silence.
“Okay.” I tried to be the calm one. “What do we do?”
“Get the fuck onto your bus!” Frank jumped up and ran to the door.
Bert smiled. “For sure!” He was mostly trying to appease everyone. He ran right for our bus door…
“BERT, DON’T TOUCH—“ Bert pulled hard on the door handle and it snapped right off. “…The door.”
“It’s alright, we can just use the keys,” Jeph walked up to our bus driver and held out his hand.
Our bus driver shook his head. “With no handle, the keys are useless.”
Jeph’s face dropped. “No. No, you lie.”
“I wish, dude.”
“YOU LIE. YOU FUCKING LYING LIAR LIE FACE!” Jeph stamped his foot.
“Jeph, calm down.” Dan pushed down on Jeph’s shoulders so he couldn’t move.
“I am hot, I am mad…” Jeph suddenly got an idea. “Wait—Levi’s still on the bus, right? He can open it from the inside…”
Everyone froze, and then ran to the door. We all pounded our fists and yelled but Levi never came.
“He fell asleep with his iPod on, didn’t he?” I groaned. When Levi fell asleep with his iPod he was somehow able to enter a bottomless rem cycle with the music on full blast.
“He always has his phone with him though!” Drew groped for hers and dialed Levi, holding the phone to her ear and drumming her fingers on her hip impatiently.
Madonna's Like A Virgin blasted from Monster’s pocket and his eyes went wide. He slowly reached in and pulled out Levi’s phone. He hit the talk button.
“He may have given me his phone to plug in and charge,” Monster said, “And I may have forgotten to do that.”
Drew threw her phone on the ground and charged at Monster screaming. Monster turned and ran as fast as he could go around the other side of the bus.
Mike and Gerard split around the bus and tackled each of them to the ground. “Killing Monster won’t help anyone,” Mike said to Drew.
“It’ll help me.” She spat sand out of her mouth.
“No,” Quinn said from the sidelines. “It’ll just leave us with a dead body.” He glared toward the bus door. “Although it’d really help to kill Bert.”
I heard Dan mumble something under his breath about wanting Levi's ringtone.

We leaned against the buses and faced the road, praying for someone, anyone to drive by. The sun was starting to go down and we had no one else to call. We tried all our managers, who had their phones either off or out of range.
“We’re going to diiiieee heeeeere.” Molly tipped onto my shoulder and I patted her head.
“How long can one person sleep?” Ray said. “It’s been four hours!”
“Dude,” Tre said, “He’s a rookie that’s been on the road for nearly a month.”
“And he may very well sleep for another month,” Mikey added.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m super fucking sorry.” Bert had been saying this the entire time we’d been sitting outside, rocking in a fetal position.
“It was just an accident, dude.” Gerard clapped Bert’s shoulder. “But regardless, we’re eating your first.”
“And I’m really, really hungry,” Frank growled.
“We’re in the middle of nowhere,” Mikey said. “Fucking. Nowhere.”
“Untrue,” Dan said. “We are exactly in the middle of hell.”
“I’m sorry I’m sorry—“
“SHUT UP!” We all screamed.
“I need water,” Billie said.
“I need food,” Drew added.
“Like I said.” Gerard pointed to Bert.
Everyone’s eyes were closed, trying to retain energy but also trying not to pass out. Night was coming fast and we’d all freeze if something didn’t save us. More importantly—at least in my mind—we’d miss our gig. Lucky I heard the noise first.
My eyes snapped open when I heard a distant rumbling. I jumped up and Molly didn’t fight it, just fell into Monster’s lap. I stared down the road and tried to see over the small hill and through the waves of heat.
“OH MY GOD.”
Everyone’s eyes opened. “This better be good,” Quinn mumbled.
“IT’S FUCKING FANTASTIC IS WHAT IT IS!” I pointed to the band of cars coming toward us.
“We’re saved!” Frank jumped up and the two of us ran into the road, waving our arms above our heads and calling out. Billie and Mike joined us.
We stepped out of the way as the cars began to slow down. The window of a beat up Ford pickup rolled down and a teenager with hair the same color as Gerard’s poked his head out.
“You guys okay—HOLY SHIT!” His jaw dropped.
“What?” A girl with spiky hair and thick eyeliner leaned around him. “WHOA!”
“Uh… hi.” Billie’s voice was blatantly awkward.
“You’re Billie Joe Armstrong!” the red haired guy exclaimed. “And Mike Dirnt!”
“It’s fucking Clayah Shier,” the girl jumped in. “Holy—Pete, it’s all of them!”
“You guys are fans, I guess. “ Mikey came up behind me.
“Hell yeah we are!” the guy—Pete—said.
An old Saturn pulled up behind the truck, followed by a Volks van. Appearently all of them were fans, following the entire tour. Lucky for us they planned to be two hours early for our show that night and were headed there.
“Can we get a ride?” Molly pleaded.
“You don’t even have to ask,” Pete’s girlfriend, Gloria (totally ironic), said. “Some of you will have to ride in the far back of the truck but, hop in!” Ray immediately fell to his knees and gave thanks to the sky.