All I Wanted Was You

I stumbled my way to the kitchen to turn on the coffee pot.
I walk and don't really pay attention to where I am going all I know is my brain needs coffee and I must have.
I switch it on and stumbled my way back and I manage to trip over a shoe and fall over on the couch.
"hey!"
is there someone here?
I recall last night.
dinner, walk...oh shit I asked him to crash on my couch.
"Morning zombie."
he spoke..there was no grogginess in his voice or anything.
"uh..hi."
"Hello."
I was laying on top of him in nothing but my nightgown..shit!
"How long have you been up?"
"Since the sun came up. You have a nice view of it here."
"Uh yeah. that's why I moved here."
I didn't realize how close he was to me.
and how red my face was getting
"are you okay?"
"yeah why?"
"your cheeks are a little red. Are you sure you are okay?"
he felt my cheeks and forehead.
"Just a little warm that's all."
"Oh okay."
he started to caress my cheek.
no.
"i have to get ready for work."
I got up and ran to my room and shut the door.
"what the hell is he doing to me?"
I turned on my music player and tried to tune out all the chatter in my head and rushed to get dressed.
I slapped on jeans and a t shirt grabbed my jacket and heading out towards the living room.
I peaked around the corner and saw him still laying there staring at the ceiling.
"Um Rob?"
"yeah?"
"I have to get to work."
"Oh okay do you want me to leave?"
yes....well not really.
"No. you can stick around here if you want. just don't break anything."
he smiled.
"Okay."
I walked out my loft and took the stairs I didn't want to tell Danny Rob spent the night...knowing him he will absolutely think wrong...well no wrong. he will just say 'you go girl!'
I ran all the way to work thinking about everything.
his smile, his laugh, his smirk, his eyes...most of important his eyes.
get a hold of yourself!!
"Oh Belinda you are right on time."
"yeah sort of ran here."
"Well I just came on to tell you we are closed today I plan to take the missus into the city and have a day to ourselves. its out 20Th anniversary today."
"oh that's greats. have fun. but I was maybe wondering if I can just chill out and read. I just need some alone time."
"Oh well that sound alright by me. just lock up when you are done and make sure you post the closed sign so no one bugs you okay."
"Okay. have a great day Mr. Stevenson."
"You too Belinda."
I went to my spot and laid across the side couch.
"Everything and now this. Him. Why? why now?"
and then my mind wondered to Nathan
'you please it was a waste of my time.'
"Stop it."
'you should go crawl somewhere and go-'
"STOP!!!"
I covered my eyes with my arm.
it was beginning to be too much.
I decided to let him in.
but could he handle everything I came with.
I mean everything the issues, the fears, the tears, and memories.
could he?
I am just broken...we are all broken.
A knock came from the door.
I stood up to see Rob there with a worried look on his face.
I unlocked the door.
"Whats wrong with you?"
"Why were you screaming?"
shit.
"You heard that?"
"Yeah I was walking to the hotel to get a fresh pair of clothes I saw you were in there and you screamed..you screamed stop."
"I just...i was just thinking about unpleasant things."
"like?"
"Don't ask."
he sighed
"How am I ever suppose to get to know you if you don't tell me things?"
i stared at him...he was right.
"Because its too much."
"What is?"
"Everything. my life, my problems, my fears everything! and you won't be able to handle everything!"
he expression went to worried to mad.
"Is that what you think? well you are wrong then."
he stormed off and he just left me there dumbfounded.
all I could manage to say was
"What just happened?"