You Left Me to Remain With All Your Excuses for Everything

Jackie was feeling really awkward. She’d met a guy at the bar where she’d worked when she met Tyler and he’d asked her to go to dinner. She’d pushed him off for a long time, trying to remind herself that she was in a relationship. Finally after a week of the new guy begging her to go out with him, she broke down and said fine one dinner date and that was it. The man she’d agreed to go out with had made a cocky comment about how it wouldn’t be the only time she saw him once she’d been out with him once.

Now she was sitting in a restaurant with him dressed in a short red dress with long sleeves and slits in the shoulders. She wore matching red peep toe heels and a pair of diamond and ruby earrings Tyler had bought her. She was trying to listen to this date talk and she was trying to seem like she wasn’t totally miserable. All she could think about was how in two days she would be Tyler’s mistress of one year.

“Jackie, you okay honey?” her date asked and snapped her out of her thoughts.

“I’m fine,” she said with a smile and poked at her chicken breast. She wasn’t hungry, and she more than anything wanted to go home. Madison had been the one to convince her to try having a relationship that didn’t involve a wife. “So, what was it you were saying?”

“My daughter is just in the first grade,” he started again and she quickly toned him out without noticing. She didn’t want to be involved with someone that had a bunch of kids; that bothered her a little bit. “…a Theory of a Deadman concert,” he said and she looked up at him suddenly. That was Tyler’s band, and as much as she didn’t want to look odd she couldn’t help but be surprised.

“What about that?” she asked gently.

“My oldest daughter took me to a Theory of a Deadman concert last summer. It was in Las Vegas, not here in California. She really likes them, and she got tickets for her birthday. She was really excited. They are pretty good live, have you heard of them?” he asked. She shook her head a little bit and took a bite of her chicken.

“I’ve only heard a few songs,” she lied and smiled at him slightly. “Did your daughter have a nice time, David?”

“She was ecstatic. She had general admission tickets, so we were right against the barricade thing. She got one of those guitar picks from the lead guy…he’s like the air she breaths. She’s 14,” David laughed. Jackie smiled slightly.

He’s the air I breathe too…this is such a lie, I’m so sorry, she thought to herself. “I remember when I was fourteen and I was always in love with some rock star,” she laughed. I guess some things never change.

“She’s my shining star you know, I wish things would have worked out between me and her mother, but it didn’t. Chastity and Amanda are my heart and soul.”

“That’s sweet,” Jackie smiled. He was such a nice guy, and she hated that she would just end up telling him that it wasn’t going to work. She already knew who she wanted, and she was sure that someday Tyler would actually leave Christine and be with her. Maybe then she could have children of her own to gush over all evening.

“Tell me something about yourself now, we’ve been here for an hour and I’ve talked your ears off,” David laughed a little bit and took a bite of his own dinner.

“There isn’t a lot to me, I’m just Jackie,” she said gently. He laughed again and took a sip of his wine. “I’m 27, I am currently unemployed. I have three kittens, named Cake, Frizzy, and Skittles, and I live with my best friend Madison.”

“There has to be more to you than that?”

“Not really,” she said. Oh yea, wait, I forgot to mention, that guy that your daughter is in love with…yea I’m his girlfriend. His wife just doesn’t know. she thought. “I’ve lived in California my entire life, I really love it here and I love the ocean and the sky at night. I love the mountains when there is snow on them…” I love another man, “I love pizza and my friends, I mean, I’m a very boring person,” she said. Once you cut out the fact that I’m some guy’s whore, I’m really unimportant.

“Well I find you to be rather interesting,” David smiled. Jackie smiled back and took a sip of her wine. As she sipped it she started to choke when she looked over David’s shoulder at the entrance of the restaurant. “What happened, are you alright?” he asked with concern as she coughed harshly.

Christine walked into the restaurant with Tyler’s hand securely in hers. She was happy to have a nice evening with her husband, uninterrupted by anybody. She’d told him to keep his cell phone turned off, even though she knew he wouldn’t, and she told him that tonight was about them. He’s agreed with some hesitation. “Two please,” she said to the host with a grin.

“Right this way,” the host said and pulled two menus out from the podium and led them to a table. Tyler followed Christine with his hand securely in hers still.

Jackie tried her best to duck down and hide with her hair as Tyler passed the table. She glanced upwards without thinking about it and he caught her eye. She could feel the tension pass between their eyes in a way that was alarming. Then she noticed him glance at David and his jaw tensed tightly and she knew he would be upset when he talked with her again. David looked at her with some slight confusion.

“Is this a nice place, ma’am?” the host asked Christine.

“Can we get a place in a little less crowded of an area?” Tyler asked before Christine could answer. The host nodded and led them to the back to the restaurant.

“Better sir?” he asked. Tyler nodded, Jackie wasn’t visible from this table. He took his seat across from Christine. “You’re server will be right with you.”

“Thank you so much,” Christine smiled and put her napkin over her lap. “Isn’t it nice to come out for dinner, baby?” she asked. He looked at her and smiled.

“Yea, it’s always nice to do things with you,” he said. His head was running wild thinking about why Jackie was here with this random man. It pissed him off. The waiter came to the table then.

“Can I get you something to drink?”

“I’ll have…a margarita,” Christine said.

“And for you, sir?”

“I’ll take a Bud light…” Tyler trailed off and looked over the menu. The waiter scribbled it down on an order pad.

“Alright, my name is Anthony, if you need anything feel free to ask,” he said and hurried away. Christine looked at Tyler and sighed. He was acting suspicious again and it bothered her. She hated when he got so quiet and lost in his thoughts. Soon their drinks were on the table.

“Tyler, come on, talk to me or something.”

“I just don’t really know what to talk about,” Tyler said and shrugged.

“How is your new record going?”

“It’s going,” he said and closed the menu slightly. “I have to do something, I’ll be back.”

“What do you have to do? We are supposed to be having a nice dinner together!” she whined.

“I’ll be right back, I promise,” he said. “If he comes to take the order I’ll have gnocchi pasta with shrimp.”

“Fine,” she snapped as he stood up. He leaned down to kiss her and walked away from the table.

Jackie was still poking at her chicken. She couldn’t stop thinking about how awkward it had felt to have Tyler pass her like that. David had clearly noticed the tension in her and he hadn’t talked as much as he had before. She felt bad that she’d done that to him. “This is really nice chicken,” she said gently.

“I’m glad you’re enjoying it,” he said.

“I’m having a lovely evening, David,” she lied and took a forkful of pasta into her mouth. He smiled hopefully and took a sip of his wine.

“Not a lot of girls are into Italian food,” he laughed. She smiled.

“I love it,” she said and also sipped her glass of wine. Then she was startled by someone’s hand closing around her bicep and she looked up with shock and then slight anger and embarrassment as she noticed who it was.

“We need to talk,” Tyler said quickly. David looked up at him and then back at Jackie. She was still looking into Tyler’s brown eyes with surprise.

“Wait a minute…” David said with annoyance, “Who are you to come over here and put your hands on her?”

“David, it’s okay…” Jackie said quickly.

“It’s not okay, that’s like assault,” David said.

“If you want, I will show you assault,” Tyler snapped and looked at David with irritation.

“Wait a second…aren’t you…?”

“No,” Tyler said quickly, knowing where that was going.

“You look so fam…”

“I’m not whoever you think I am,” Tyler said and pulled Jackie out of her seat. “Now I need to borrow your date for a few seconds.” He pulled her away from the table. She struggled to keep up with him as he pulled her towards the restaurant’s restrooms. Once they were in the hall way where the restrooms where he stopped pulling her.

“What the fuck, Tyler?!” She snapped. He looked at her with anger.

“That’s what I’d like to fucking know! Why the fuck are you here with that fat little balding fuck?!” he snapped.

“It’s just dinner, Tyler! It’s not that big of a deal!”

“It is a big deal, you’re fucking seeing people and dating behind my fucking back!”

“Really? Well, look at that!” she snapped with her own rage. “Last time I checked, You had a MARRIAGE going on in front of my fucking face! I have every fucking right to go out with a fucking man, shit head!”

“You already know the deal with Christine and I!” he snapped back at her.

“Yea, it’s perfectly fucking clear! You are fucking here, on a date with your wife and screaming at me in a hall way because you feel betrayed! Get used to feeling betrayed Tyler, it’s about fucking time you do!”

“Jackie, you don’t know what you are talking about. You know I love you, and you know that I’m going to leave her soon so you and I can be together. So can’t you just wait for me? Why do you have to date other people?! How many other people have you dated?” he asked with anger.

“Tyler, this is the first time I’ve been out with a man in a year! He’s a nice guy, but he’s not someone I’m interested in! You know how fucking much I love you Tyler! It’s disgusting in a way, you don’t deserve half the love I give you!” she screamed. “You don’t deserve half the love Christine gives you either! You need to make up your fucking mind already!”

“I’ve made up my mind, and you damn well know it! I’m just waiting for the right time to tell her!” he shouted. She looked at him with rage and she shoved him. “Jackie, calm down baby,” he said. She looked at him again and this time tears started to run down her face.

“I’m sorry…I shouldn’t have come here tonight,” she sniffed. He sighed and put his arms around her as she started to cry. “I already know you’ll be mine someday soon, but damn it I got so tired of waiting for someday soon,” she cried. Her voice cracked with her words. He kissed her lips then.

“I love you, and I forgive you,” he said. She nodded and pulled away from him. Before she could realize it he’d pulled her into the men’s bathroom and into the largest stall and his hands were pushing up her skirt as he lifted her up and pressed her back against the door of the bathroom stall. She moaned a deep throaty moan as he kissed her neck and adjusted her leg on his hip.

“I love you,” she whispered and he pulled her black lacey panties off of her hips and got his pants down. “If we get caught, we are going to be in so much shit,” she laughed. He smiled a little bit and pressed his lips hard against hers as he slammed into her. She gasped harshly then and took hold of the bathroom door above her head. She could hear the metal frame of the stall door creaking as he thrust against her harshly.

It didn’t take him long to finish, and he let her back down onto her feet while he put his jeans back in their place. When she bent over to pick up her panties, he picked them up before she could reach them. She popped up and glared at him. “You don’t need them,” he grinned as he put them into his pocket.

“Your wife is out there!” she protested.

“She doesn’t put her hands in my pockets. Now, go home Jackie,” he said. She looked at him with frustration.

“Give me my underwear you sick fuck!” she whined. He laughed and kissed her hard on her lips and gave her breast a little squeeze.

“No,” he said and opened the stall door before walking out. He washed his hands quickly and left the bathroom. Jackie looked around for a moment before remembering she was in the men’s restroom and she hurried out as well. She went back to the table she’d been at with David.

“Is that like, your boyfriend?” David asked with annoyance. She looked at him and shook her head.

“No…it’s not,” she said.

“Then how do you know him?”

“He’s…my brother…” she lied. David looked at her with narrow eyes as if he was examining her.

“I don’t see the resemblance,” he said.

Shit fuck and damn! What the fuck do I say now!? she thought to herself as slight panic rushed through her. When she’d first come out her only worry was that she would smell like Tyler’s sex. Now she was trying to cover her tracks and she felt like she was only digging a deeper hole for herself. “Well, I meant step-brother…but I’ve never really classified it that way,” she said smoothly. David nodded in understanding and she let out a breath of relief. “David, I’m sorry to have to ask, but can you please take me home? I’m very tired, and I have to work in the morning,” she lied. He frowned a little bit.

“Yea, I can take you,” he said and asked the waitress for the check.

Tyler slid back into his seat at the dinner table to see Christine looking very annoyed at him. He smiled at her as she crossed her arms in front of her chest and chewed her food slowly with anger. “I’m sorry about that,” he said.

“Sure as hell you’re fucking sorry,” she snapped. He looked down at the plate of food that was resting in front of him. “Your food is cold now.”

“I had business…”

“You always have fucking business! I told you to turn that mother fucking phone off! I never get time with you Tyler, you’re always gone. Then when you are here, you leave me sitting at the motherfucking table while you go talk to your girlfriend on the phone!” she snapped. He looked at her briefly and tried to keep a straight face.

“Christine, I don’t have a girlfriend…what kind of guy do you think I am?” he asked and prayed she couldn’t see him lying through his teeth. He found it ironic that now would be the time for her to accuse him of cheating.

“That isn’t the point, Tyler,” she said with anger. He sighed and poked his food with his fork. The skin on his neck burned from where Jackie had bitten him when they’d been in the bathroom. He was hoping Christine wouldn’t notice the mark.

“Look, Chrissy baby, I’m sorry I did that. I should have just handled my business another time,” he said apologetically. She looked at him and he could still see the anger in her eyes. “It won’t ever happen again.”

“Don’t lie to me, it happens all the time,” she sniffed and took another bite of her dinner. The rest of the evening went in silence. Tyler tried to make it comfortable, but he knew she was angry and he knew he wasn’t going to have a pleasant night.

Jackie hurried into her apartment without saying much of a goodbye to David, and hoping he’d understand that she wasn’t into another date with him. She shut the door behind herself and let out an exhausted sigh. Madison looked up from where she was lying on the sofa with Josh and smiled.

“How did your date go?” she said cheerfully.

“Like fucking hell,” Jackie said and took her shoes off quickly and set them next to the door before hanging her purse up on the door knob.

“Why? He seemed like such a nice guy!” she said with slight frustration. She’d really wanted Jackie to have a nice date so that maybe she could get into a normal relationship.

“First of all, he is a nice guy, second of all, he’s a divorced father of two, nice guy,” Jackie said and pulled her hair out of the little clip that was keeping it pulled back. Madison elbowed Josh in the stomach to keep him from having anything to say on that subject.

“So, I’m sure his kids aren’t around all the time,” she said.

“Madison, I’m tired and I lost my panties okay, I’m going to get a wine cooler and go to bed,” Jackie said and walked into the kitchen.

“Lost your panties?!” Madison asked with shock and got up off the sofa and followed her friend. Jackie opened the refrigerator and looked inside.

“Damn it we are out of wine coolers,” she whined and poured herself a glass of milk instead.

“How the hell did that happen?”

“It doesn’t matter,”

“Did you bang this guy on your first date?!”

“No!” Jackie said harshly and pulled a box of Oreo cookies out of a cabinet. She tore back the top cover and pulled out five cookies.

“Then how did you lose your underwear, bimbo?” Madison asked.

“Tyler was at the restaurant with Christine and he cornered me near the bathrooms, it’s not important,” Jackie said and took a bite out of her cookie. Madison looked at her with wide eyes.

“You fucking had sex with that motherfucker while you were on a date with a nice guy?! What the fuck is wrong with you!?”

“Nothing! Just leave me alone,” Jackie said and walked out of the kitchen with her milk and Oreos. Madison watched her walk away and started to follow her with frustration and annoyance.

“I just can’t believe you can’t even stay away from him long enough to get involved with someone that isn’t a fucking douche bag,” she said with that frustration lacing her voice. Josh came behind her and put his hand on her shoulder.

“Just let it go Madison. Jackie is a big girl, she can make her own choices,” he said calmly. Madison glared at him.

“You are not helping,” she said. He rolled his eyes.

“Have a good night, Jackie,” he said and pulled Madison away. Jackie went into her bedroom and poured a little bit of her milk into one of the cat dishes and watched as her three tiny kittens started to drink the milk with pleasure. She laughed and ate another cookie. She pulled her phone out of her bra and started a text message.

I know you are with Christine now, and I’m sorry to interrupt, but I wanted to say goodnight and I love you, and thanks for saving me from that date. she typed. She finished her milk and cookies and stood up from her bed before going into her bathroom. She took a quick shower and brushed her teeth before pulling on the button down shirt he’d left her and a pair of panties. She got back into bed and turn off her light when her phone beeped four times in a row, indicating a text message.

Goodnight baby, I love you too. Sleep well, and your welcome. it read. She smiled to herself and closed her eyes then. Before long, she was asleep.