Don't Hold This War Inside

"What's wrong, Caroline?" Carlisle asked when he saw Caroline limping down the stairs, anger apparent on her features.

"Nothing is wrong, Carlisle. Just a case of bad judgment is all." Caroline replied as she walked to Jude and Vienna's room.

"You alright?" Jude asked when he saw her. Vienna looked up from the picture she was drawing.

"Fine. Just...can we leave?" Caroline asked, sitting on the bed.

"What happened? I thought you wanted to stay with Jasper and--"

"Jasper seems to think I am and have been completely dependent on him. He seems to think I don't matter and I can't take care of myself." Caroline answered, knowing full well everyone in the house had heard the conversation.

"Yeah, I heard that part. Are you sure he meant it, Car?" Jude asked. he was always trying to assess both sides of the conversation.

"Well, if he said it, he thinks it. If he thinks it, he feels it. And if he feels it then what choice do I have? He obviously doesn't want me here." Caroline said, her voice rising with every word she spoke.

"Look, Caroline, we all say things we don't mean to the ones we love when we get pissed. Maybe you need to just go someplace and cool off. Vi and I will come with you if you want." Jude said.

Caroline sighed, tears springing to her eyes. "I just don't get it, Jude. Even if I was dead, why wouldn't he tell Alice he had a wife before, a wife he still loved? Why wouldn't he investigate if I really died or not? Why wouldn't he want to know?"

Vienna sighed and got up from her drawing. She walked over to Caroline and hugged her tightly. "He loves you. I can tell."

"No, Vienna, he doesn't." Caroline said, sobbing softly.

"He loves you, Caroline. He is just afraid to lose you. He always has been. You have always been the biggest part of his life, the one thing he wanted to live for. Trust him." Vienna said in her soft spoken voice.

Caroline couldn't say a word. She just sat there letting Vienna hug her because she really needed it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jasper walked in Vienna and Jude's room later that night. Jude had taken Vienna hunting earlier that day.

Caroline was lying on the bed, staring out of the window. Rain fell against it in huge, fat drops and she found herself wondering if Vienna and Jude would come home tonight.

"Caroline?" he asked timidly.

She didn't answer but blinked softly. He walked over to the bed and lay in it next to her, facing the window.

"I'm sorry for what I said earlier. I didn't mean it, of course. You are the strongest person I've ever known. What I said...I can't take it back but you have to know that I was just angry." Jasper said softly.

"Why didn't you tell her?" Caroline asked quietly. "Why didn't you just tell her about me? At least then she would have been prepared."

Jasper sighed. "How could I tell her that I was technically still married to someone I thought was dead? I didn't mean to hurt her, Caroline. It's just that...I have always loved you more and I always will. I thought that by not telling her...I thought I was protecting her from any further heartbreak."

Caroline turned to face Jasper and she felt his strong arms wrap around her waist. "Jasper, you just can't go breaking hearts everywhere you go. You should have told her the truth."

"I know that now, Caroline. And I'm sorry for the pain I caused you."

They were both quiet as Caroline snuggled as close to Jasper as she possibly could. He pulled her tightly against him.

"Jasper."

"Yes?"

"How about that vacation?"

Jasper chuckled and Caroline heard and felt the vibrations against her hair. She smiled to herself and buried her face in his chest.

"Where do you wanna go, sweetheart?"

Caroline sighed. "What about Switzerland?"

Jasper smiled. "Whatever you want, Caroline."