Don't Hold This War Inside

It was nearly two in the morning and Caroline still could not go to sleep. Her eyes, puffy and red from crying earlier, stared blankly out the window.

It wasn't the fact that she could not sleep. It was more so the fact that she would not sleep. She was afraid she would have another nightmare. But was it a nightmare?

Sighing, she blinked and drank from the glass of water on her night stand, hoping it would soothe her into a dreamless sleep.

Caroline downed the entire glass and pulled the blankets over her head, mustering up the courage to shake hands with sleep yet again.

Jasper sat up and looked around. He was in a cabin of sorts, though it was expanded so he assumed he was an a makeshift infirmary.

He noticed then that he could hear, see, and smell every single thing around him. He could still smell the gunpowder on his skin, could still smell the hint of her on his hands.

Then came the burning in his throat.

"You are finally awake. I was beginning to think your body would have rejected the change, and a tragedy that would have been." a slow and deliberate voice said.

He looked up and saw one of the women who had attacked him, the one known as Maria.

"What are you talking about?" Jasper asked cautiously.

"Oh, my dear. You are so young, yet so powerful. I can sense it." Maria replied as if she had not heard him.

"Please. What did you do to me?" Jasper asked, a sinking feeling in his chest.

Maria's ruby red eyes snapped to Jasper, as if she were agitated by his inquiry. "You will find out soon enough, my darling. I have plans for you, Jasper, great plans. But first, you must feed."

"I am hungry. Perhaps you may have potatoes?" Jasper said, still cautious. He hadn't the slightest idea where he was, though something told him he was no longer in Texas.

Maria laughed, the sound being akin to that of bells, or of a death angel.

"Oh, you silly boy. There is still so much to be taught, so much to be learned. No, no, Jasper. You can no longer eat potatoes. I am afraid I have somethingmuch better for you to eat." she said, as if she were talking to a toddler.

For some reason, a streak of fear passed over Jasper's heart when Maria said this. Just then, a boy, no older than 12, walked in. His eyes held an insurmountable level of fear in them higher than Jasper.

And yet, as Jasper wondered why the boy was there, something in him knew, for when the boy walked closer, Jasper's throat seemed to burn hotter than he could endure.

"Do not be afraid, James. He will not hurt you." Maria said with a wry smile on her face.

Jasper stared at Maria, puzzlement in his eyes. "Why is he here?"

Maria smiled. "He is to be your dinner, darling. Drink from him."

Shock and revulsion passed Jasper's face. "No! No! I won't! I refuse to harm him!" he said, determination in his voice.

Maria came closer, looming slightly over Jasper. "Youcannot ignore the instinct. This is what we are designed to do."

"We?"

But Maria did not answer Jasper. She licked over her teeth once and in a flash was on top of the boy, her mouth latched onto his neck the same way she had been with Jasper.

He told himself it was all wrong, told himself that what Maria was doing was not right or legal in any fashion.

But those thoughts vanished from his head the instant the boy's blood slid down his neck.

All Jasper could feel was burning, burning that could only be cured by that boy.

And, with thoughts of regret and revulsion, he rushed at the boy just as Maria had and latched himself onto his neck, groaning when he felt the boy's blood extinguish the burn and slide down his throat.

Caroline's eyes snapped open, fear crawling up her throat in the form of a scream but instead, she found herself pitched over the side up the bed vomiting.

What she saw didn't just scare her beyond belief.

It disgusted her.

It made her feel dirty.

Carlisle came into the room yet again, concerned for Caroline. He saw her vomiting and immediately ran over to the bed.

When Caroline caught her breath, she told Carlisle she'd had another nightmare and explained what it was about this time.

"Did this nightmare seem real, as the last one did?" he asked softly.

"No," Caroline said. "It felt disgusting, dirty, terrifying." Just then, she leaned over the side of the bed, more vomit coming from her.

Carlisle called for one of the maids to come and clean it up before going to get a large glass of water and a spot of tea.

Being the doctor he was, he laced the tea with an elixir that was sure to give Caroline the dreamless sleep she so desired.

"Thank you, Mr. Carlisle. You have been to kind to me." Caroline said as she rinsed her mouth out and spat the dirty contents into a basin which Lucy carried off.

"I am only doing what is right, Caroline. It is important to me that you are most comfortable here. I do not wish you to have any more problems whilst you are here."

Caroline sighed. "I cannot be comfortable here with these nightmares plaguing my mind every time I go to sleep. Mr. Carlisle, I currently fear for my sanity." she said in despair.

Carlisle handed her the mug of tea which she took obligingly. "Perhaps this will calm your nerves." he said encouragingly.

She nodded and drained the mug quickly before handing it back to Carlisle. "Thank you."

Carlisle talked to her for a few more minutes and when he noticed her eyes beginning to droop slightly, he excused himself for the night, stating that he would check on her in the morning.

Caroline tugged at her bottom lip when the door closed.

Why was she having dreams about Jasper when she knew he was dead? And who was this Maria character?

She had never seen nor heard of the woman and it seemed apparent that she was indeed a vile person.

It made Caroline's heart fall to pieces to know that she couldn't even get a good night's sleep due to these nightmares.

She felt her eyes begin to fall in rebellion to Caroline trying to stay awake and before she knew it, she was asleep again.