Crazy In Love

The way she played with her hair when she was upset drove him crazy. The smug smile she wore after winning an argument did the job even better. She was the kind of girl that knew she was hot but didn’t flaunt it. Every part of her was perfect, he discovered, and he was absolutely crazy for her.

It wasn’t the way she played with her hair or the way her lips quirked into smug grins that made him realize but the way she handled herself. The confidence she exuded was so fucking sexy sometimes he couldn’t stand it. She knew she was good at her job, at being a friend, at being a girlfriend and she didn’t pull any of that jealous bullshit his previous girls had.

That was the difference though, she was unlike any other girl he had ever met and she wasn’t entirely his. He had to share her with her job and her friends and that was so fucking hard at first. Patrice Bergeron hated sharing, especially when it came to her. It wasn’t that he expected her to be his and his only, never to leave his apartment or his side, but he didn’t expect to be a year and ten months into their relationship and still feeling like they were at square one.

They weren’t by any means but that’s what it felt like some days. She rarely spent the night at his apartment and he rarely spent the night at hers. If it was up to him she would have moved in by now or vice versa. There were countless times where he wanted to bring it up, to ask her why things were still moving at such an agonizingly slow pace but deep down he knew.

Bailey Sullivan wasn’t one to rush things and when it came to Patrice this was especially true. He knew this; she told him once in a half-drunk state almost a year into their relationship. It was one of the first nights he realized how he truly felt about her.

“Baby!” Bailey whined as she stumbled over to Patrice. He was sitting with Matt Hunwick, nursing a beer and laughing about how girls could never hold their alcohol. Bailey furthered that point as she sloppily slid into his lap.

Matt stared at Bergy, his eyebrows raised. Patrice shrugged in response, Bailey was always big on PDA –they both were– but this was a new one. “Hi beautiful,” Bergy greeted finally, his voice husky and low just the way Bailey liked it.

“I have to tell you something,” she giggled and attempted to trace her fingers over his lips. Before Patrice could protest, Matt stood up and half raised his beer to Bergy. He gave his teammate a devilish grin before toddling off to find Wheels or Looch.

Patrice watched for a moment before turning back to Bailey. She was watching him with this intent stare that would have scared him if he didn’t recognize it. He wrapped his arms around her waist and smiled at her. The silence that filled the space between them was quickly lifted when Bailey leaned in and pressed her lips to his ear.

“I want to fuck you but I’m s-scared you,” Bailey paused and ran her tongue along the shell of his ear. The honesty and seduction in her voice was killing him. She didn’t sound very drunk anymore but her words were still sliding close together. “You think I’m only with you ‘cause of what you do.”

Patrice froze; he was floored. Did she really think he could ever think that of her? Bailey pulled back and looked at him. It almost scared him how hurt she looked, how rejected. He couldn’t think of anything to do but press his lips to hers. A soft gasp escaped her lips and she quickly threaded her fingers through his hair.

After a few moments he pulled away and stared at his girlfriend. “What do you mean?”

Bailey giggled and leaned in again. Her lips ghosted over his jaw, all the way up to his right jaw. Another involuntary shiver twirled up his spine as her breath tickled his cheek. “I’m done waiting.”

She had a funny way of saying so, with her confession just before that. Patrice didn’t mind, he was painfully turned on but he held his patience and the next night, it paid off. He not only found out exactly what she was talking about but for the first time in their nine and a half month relationship, they made love.

“What did you mean last night?” Patrice finally asked after allowing the question to burn a hole in his tongue all day. Bailey froze beside him, her hand stilling its motions on his chest. She didn’t intend to tell him what she had and she especially didn’t intend for him to push the issue.

“It’s not important,” she tried but she knew it was no use. Patrice didn’t back down from things like this.

The brown eyed Quebecois let out a soft sigh. He scrubbed his hand over his face and suppressed the urge to groan. She wasn’t being very cooperative and he expected that.

“Of course it is,” he defended. “Everything is important when it comes to you.”

He could feel her grin against his bare chest but she didn’t say anything. Instead, she moved from her position curled into his side and straddled his hips. Bailey smiled again as she leaned down, her hands pressed to his chest and brown hair fluttering around her face, curtaining them away from the rest of the world.

After a moment her expression faded from sexy to serious. She tucked some hair behind her right ear before leaning down even further to be inches away from Patrice. “I’ve heard stories about how guys like you don’t date girls like me and I’m afraid you’re going to break up with me as soon as we have sex.”

If she didn’t look so honest and vulnerable, Patrice would have yelled and screamed about her complete lack of trust. A soft sigh passed his lips as he pulled her closer still and touched their foreheads together. “If I was planning on doing that we would be broken up,” he told her honestly. A visible chill trembled over her skin and Patrice grinned before rolling over and pinning her to the mattress.

“I just don’t want to lose you because you think I’m with you for your money,” she started. “I’m scared because I can’t handle the thought of losing you.”

Her sadness and vulnerability killed him. There was nothing that he wanted more than to take away her pain and seeing her like this, he just knew. He knew that he would do anything for her, anything to make her happy, to take away her pain.

“I love you, Bailey,” Patrice whispered. His eyes widened; hearing his own words stunned him. He knew for awhile that he felt that way but he didn’t expect to voice it in such a state. He wanted to do something special to tell her, to show her how he felt. It slipped out and he wished like hell there could be a rewind button that would reel the words back into his mouth.

Bailey was staring back at him, her expression matched his perfectly. Her skin tingled and a grin replaced her shocked expression as soon as she realized he was serious. “I love you too,” she returned before pressing her lips to his.

Patrice thought they’d move a little faster after that night but he couldn’t have been more wrong. If anything, they slowed down and on their one year anniversary they didn’t even celebrate. Bailey said it wasn’t really her style. She told him a few weeks prior so he knew she didn’t forget but she said she didn’t expect him to set up some extravagant dinner or get her some sort of present.

Of course, he did get her flowers and a white gold tennis bracelet but he didn’t plan dinner or anything like he would have if she were anyone else. Her lack of caring about big celebrations for anniversaries just burrowed her deeper into his heart. So instead of dining at one of Boston’s premier restaurants, Bailey and Patrice made their way to the first place they met; Mike’s Pastries in the North End.

It was his third year in Boston when Patrice discovered the little slice of heaven known as Mike’s. He was really looking for a little Italian place where he could fill up on carbs and be left alone. Somehow though, he managed to stumble upon the pastry shop and made a habit of visiting at least once a month. He was dating a blonde girl back then, someone he couldn’t quite remember the name of anymore but she didn’t approve.

Their relationship barely lasted three months before he broke it off. He felt bad for lying, saying that the schedule was getting too rigorous and he didn’t have time for a girlfriend. It was a half truth, the whole truth being that he just couldn’t stand her anymore. At the time he worried that he was being overly picky and he would never find a nice girl to settle down with. These thoughts stuck with him for a few years, always returning after a break up and only disappearing when his hockey career was on the line after a nasty hit.

But then, one Sunday morning after stopping to grab some coffee at Polcari’s, the best little coffee shop in all of Boston, Patrice stopped at Mike’s and everything changed.

It wasn’t busy for once, for which he was entirely grateful. All he wanted to do was go back home, lounge around before afternoon practice and maybe go over Coach’s plan for the power play. He was about to order his usual when a petite brunette walked in with her phone glued to her ear. She was breathtakingly beautiful, he thought. Her bright hazel eyes were electrifying when she smiled at him shyly.

He had motioned for her to go ahead and order, she looked awfully busy. Instead, she hung up the phone and somehow they got to talking. Not too long after she was giving him her number and he was asking her to dinner. One night out turned into two and two turned into three and not long after she was the girl he called his and Patrice didn’t even think about being too picky or not finding a girl to settle with.

Things were going pretty good, he just turned 23 that July and he was actually bouncing back from a grade-iii concussion. Doubters say what? His career was looking to be far from over and he actually had a girl to care for him, so he thought. Bailey was different, he learned quickly. She wasn’t like any girl he had ever dated before.

Bailey didn’t call him to see where he had been if he didn’t call her for a few days, she didn’t get on him about busy due to his schedule. He liked that though, didn’t he? The clingy girls were always annoying and suffocating. With Bailey he didn’t have to worry about that, she had her own job and her own friends and she wasn’t always trying to impede on his life.

But sometimes he had to wonder… he didn’t think she was with him just because he was one of the Boston Bruin’s star players, he knew for a fact she wasn’t like that. She was too kindhearted to even think about being a gold digger, he saw it from the way she helped her friends whenever they needed her and the way she volunteered at every possible second. It was sexy, that she was so into helping people and making them happy but he had to wonder sometimes if she ever made time for herself.

Even after being together for a year and ten months, he couldn’t figure it out. But it was refreshing and made him grateful that he didn’t have a girlfriend like Matty or Blake. They were both dating girls that seemed to be downright awful. But he would never tell them this, they almost never asked for his opinion; they just started bitching in the locker room after practice. Like now, not even five minutes after the team congregated in the room.

I’m so lucky, Patrice mused as he leaned down to undo his skate laces. Hunwick nudged him with his elbow and gave a loud, showy groan to make sure the boys were listening. Bergy fought the urge to roll his eyes.

“My girl won’t get off my back about never being around,” Munch groaned again as he slipped off his right skate. “She’s always calling me to see when I’ll be home.”

“You guys moved in together?” Patrice asked, his voice doing nothing to hide the surprise written all over his face.

Matty glanced at him and scowled. “I guess you’re going deaf in your old age, Bergs.” The boys hooted with laughter as the blue eyed blonde continued. “We moved in together last week. I told you on the flight to Toronto, dickhead.”

Patrice felt kind of bad for not paying more attention. Admittedly, he was thinking about Bailey and what should do for their two year anniversary. It was still a full two months away but he wasn’t going to do nothing this time. He really wanted to show her how he felt.

“Sorry Munch,” Patrice shrugged and yanked off both of his skates.

“Whatever man,” he laughed before continuing on about his girlfriend. “She’s always asking me where I’ve been and shit, I’m getting sick of her. The sex isn’t that good.”

Matt continued to drone on and on about all the terrible things his girlfriend did. It wasn’t long before Looch, Wheels and even some of the married guys chimed in. As Patrice undressed and listened, he couldn’t help but wonder if he was wrong about Bailey. There wasn’t a single teammate saying that their girl didn’t do that, and in actuality, he was the only one who didn’t chime in with a story for the boys.

“You wouldn’t believe what Christie did yesterday,” Blake sighed. “I told her she was being fucking stupid and I looked like the asshole for it. She’s so annoying sometimes.”

Bergy searched and searched for a story to share but he couldn’t give one. Instead, he wondered if he was wrong about his relationship. If not having any of those annoying moments was actually hurting them and they weren’t as close as he thought. It was panic inducing, to have such thoughts consuming his mind. He found himself tuning the boys out as he continued to get undressed and redressed.

Bailey didn’t seem all that perfect anymore and neither did their relationship. He realized instead that missed having someone wonder where he was and he missed having someone not be so understanding about his schedule. It was great that she wasn’t clingy to the point of being suffocating but she wasn’t clingy at all. Could she be cheating on me? Patrice wondered as he slipped into his shoes.

He barely said bye to the team before leaving. Thankfully he made plans with Bailey for later. As much as he wanted to push the thoughts away this time, he just couldn’t. Listening to the guys was actual proof, it wasn’t just a hunch or the occasional passing thought. It was proof that the things he once thought their relationship was better without were actually maybe needed.

Not only that, but moving at a snail’s pace just made things so much worse in Patrice’s mind. Somewhere inside, he knew that this was always something living in the back of his mind. He knew that these were big deals but they never seemed to be in his face until he listened to the guys talking. They never seemed like things that could actually get in the way of being with Bailey.

It wasn’t unreasonable to be feeling this way, was it? After almost two years together they should be past this, shouldn’t they? Patrice thought so but he felt guilty somehow, for thinking such things and being so concerned. All he could think about was talking to Bailey and finding out what was going on and why they were going so slow. It couldn’t all be for the same reason as before, could it?

Once Patrice arrived home time seemed to disappear. The minutes ticked away and he still couldn’t figure out how to broach the subject with Bailey. He didn’t want to dive right in and scare her away but he didn’t know what to say otherwise. The more he thought about it the more it felt like he needed to take the band-aid approach and just dive right in.

Thankfully, he didn’t have to think about it for much longer. Bailey strode into the house at the exact time she said she would, not a minute late or a minute early. Patrice’s heart sped up in his chest as soon as he saw her dazzling smile. Even after all this time she had that effect on him and he loved it. But this time he didn’t bask in it, he didn’t wrap his arms around her when she slid into his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Are you cheating on me?” He blurted before he could stop himself.

Bailey’s eyes grew as wide as saucers. She scrambled out of Patrice’s lap and continued to stare at him, no defense coming out. As the seconds ticked by, he became more and more worried that she was indeed cheating on him.

“W-what?” She questioned finally. “How can you even – what?”

Patrice didn’t have an answer for her. He wasn’t quite sure why that was the question that came tumbling out. But it did make an awful lot of sense. It would account for why their relationship was progressing so slowly and why they weren’t already living together. It could even account for her lack of wondering where he was or what he was doing.

“What the fuck?” Bailey continued, her voice growing. “Are you serious? After all this time together you still don’t trust me?”

“I,” he started, his mind scrambling for words his mouth could speak. “It isn’t that. I’m just sick of this.”

He stood up, anger consuming him. Now it was his turn to let his voice grow, to voice his full opinion. “I love you Bailey but we’ve been together for almost two years and you still don’t spend the night much,” he stated firmly. “It feels like I’m more into this relationship than you are and I can’t handle that.”

The petite brunette was shocked. She stared up at her boyfriend, dumbfounded. “How long as this been going on?” She asked quietly as she pushed Patrice back into his chair and slid into his lap once more.

This was one of the things he loved about Bailey. She was never angry for long; she was much more interested in working things out than yelling and screaming.

“For awhile, I think. It just came to the surface today after listening to the guys,” he admitted. “Listen Bailey, I understand you’re busy –we both are- but I’m ready to take the next step, I’ve been ready.”

He gently pushed her out of his lap and stood up. “You never call me to see where I’ve been if I don’t call for a few days. You don’t act like you’re attached at all,” he listed as he ran a hand through his hair. “You need to show that you’re into this relationship. You’re either in or you’re out because I can’t do a limbo anymore.”

When she didn’t say anything, Patrice continued. “I want you to move in. I want to take the next step with you, I love you,” he told her softly as he ran his thumb over her trembling bottom lip. “If you’re in meet me by the skating rink in the commons on Sunday at 7. I’ll wait for you for ten minutes if you’re not there, I’ll have your answer.”

Bailey didn’t say anything. She simply nodded before heading for the door. With one glance back, she was gone.

* * *

The four days leading up to Sunday were agonizing for Patrice. He thought about and re-thought about what he said to Bailey, about the snap decision he made to shove moving to the next step on her. Eventually, he managed to fall on the conclusion that he did the right thing, that he wasn’t rushing her. If anything it would be moving at normal speed to take that step at this point in the relationship.

The guys wondered what was up with him, telling him at practice and at the two games they had that he was a million miles away. He didn’t let it bother him and laughed it off every time but he hated that she was having such an effect on him. It was evidence of how bad he was wrapped up in her but even people who love others so much have breaking points, right?

Patrice thought so, but even as he made his way through the city to the commons, he wasn’t so sure. Normally he would have stopped by a few of his favorite places on the way to the place he loved to run so frequently. But not tonight, tonight Patrice couldn’t even stand the thought of trying to keep anything in his stomach. Butterflies were fluttering around inside of him, their wings tickling his insides.

It was seven o’clock on the nose when he reached the skating rink. Few people were skating around at this time of night. There were two couples and one girl that looked to be in her own world. Patrice watched her in hopes that it would take his focus off of the minutes ticking by. It didn’t work; she was far too graceful and carved up the ice in too perfect of a way. Must be a professional, he thought to himself as he turned away from the rink.

He pulled his toque a little lower on his head before extracting his BlackBerry from his front coat pocket. 7:09. A small jolt of disappointment shot through his stomach. So, she wouldn’t be coming. That was fine; he could make it without her, right? Patrice wasn’t sure and a part of him thought she might not show up but seeing the time and having it pretty much written out for him? It was still a wakeup call, one that hurt.

He watched intently as the numbers on his phone changed from 09 to 10. Patrice took a long slow breath before starting back towards the way he came. Before he could get anywhere, he noticed it; Bailey running. She never ran. Her mother told him so; she managed to bust up both of her knee caps when she was a kid and after that she was terrified. Patrice was always so interested afterwards in how she kept her figure.

It doesn’t matter, he told himself, she’s running for me. He tried to keep it casual once she finally reached him. Patrice didn’t say anything when she finished gasping for breath, he just stared, waiting for her to make a move.

“I love you,” she panted. “I’m sorry. You were right. But I’ve been scared.”

She sounded like she was dying, Patrice thought as he continued to watch her. At first he thought she was still gasping for breath but then he realized she was actually sobbing. Still, he refused to wrap his arms around her like he wanted to. He was far too interested in whatever else she had to say.

“It’s not right,” she continued. “It’s not fair to you, either. But I still get so blown away when I think that you’re with me and not somebody else. Patrice, you’re amazing. You’ve been so patient with me. I’ve been hurt before, I’ve been known to rush things.

“I couldn’t do that with you. I had to slow it down.” Bailey paused to take a deep breath. “It might not mean much but you mean everything. I knew it when I saw you in Mike’s. I knew you were different and after our first couple of dates I promised myself I wouldn’t mess it up.”

Patrice still didn’t say anything. A warm tingly sensation covered his skin and he wanted nothing more than to scoop her up and kiss her until he couldn’t breathe. But he didn’t. He knew her well enough that he was sure she still had more to say.

And he was right.

“I guess I deserve that, your silence. But you have to know how much I care about you. Sometimes you’re all I think about and I can’t get anything done at work. You’re so important to me, I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you. I was thinking about the future and trying to picture it and I can’t if you’re not there,” she cried. “It’s so dumb and so cheesy and I promised I’d never say anything like it to a guy, but that’s the truth. I love you so much.”

She was dying to reach out to him, to wrap her arms around him and have him do the same. He could see it but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. She still didn’t answer his question.

“You haven’t answered the question I wanted you to answer,” he told her finally, his voice unusually thick with the French accent she loved so much.

Bailey stared back at him for a moment, her tears stopping and a confused expression taking its place. She was quiet for a few moments, obviously going over the conversation they had in his living room just four short nights ago. As if someone hit a switch in her mind, a wide smile spread across her lips and she quickly tugged him closer.

“I’m in,” she stated before placing a hand on the back of his neck and pulling him down to press their lips together.

To anybody watching them, they would have looked like a couple that was so crazy in love that they wouldn’t notice anybody else. And it was true, and that was exactly how they liked it.

“Am I going to have to pull a show like that to get you to marry me someday?” Patrice asked lightly once they broke away.

Bailey giggled softly and closed her eyes. “Maybe,” she whispered against his lips before kissing him again.