Scattered Black Roses

“I-I can’t do this,” I averted my gaze to the ground. My guilt overwhelmed me. Oh Matt…

Benn chuckled and sat at the foot of the tree he leaned against. He ran a hand through his messy black hair. His expression was happy?

I took a step towards him. “Are you actually smiling?”

“Use your eyes,” he remarked.

I rolled my eyes and scoffed.

Benn laughed. No, he didn’t chuckle, but he laughed. It reminded me of the old days. I used to hear his laugh often, but now, it was just rare. We were strangers now.

I gathered up my courage and sat next to him with my back against the side of the tree. “You should laugh more often,” I said loud enough for Benn to hear.

“And you shouldn’t dress like a prep to please your parents,” he pulled one knee up, set his hand on it, and just kept his other leg straight across the ground with his head leaned back.

I laughed. Somehow the mood became less intense. A lot like the atmosphere around Derrick.

“Shouldn’t you be getting to class,” he stated more than questioned.

I smirked as I got to my feet. “This is coming from one of the school bad assess?”

“Watch it, you’re not one to talk,” Benn stood too.

Suddenly, something moved in the bushes. It scared me so much that I jumped into Ben’s arms. I didn’t realize until I could actually feel him sigh.

“Rose, it’s just a squirrel,” Benn turned me to face a little gray squirrel with an acorn in its little paws.

I scrambled out of his arms and turned away, “Oh, um, well then!”

Benn strode up to me and moved it back to its original place. He leaned in, but I took a step back. This was amusement to him somehow.

“Yeah, whatever,” he gave me somewhat of a grin.

“Well, later!” I waved, but stopped in my tracks, “Please, don’t tell Matt about this…I need to talk to him. What he doesn’t know will save him from heartbreak.”

I didn’t get a reply, but I heard footsteps come up from behind me. The next thing I knew, Benn’s strong arms were wrapped around my waist and I could feel his breath against my neck. Thinking right was becoming one of the hardest things to do lately and Benn knew just what to do to make it even harder! I also noticed his wristbands had Oath to Pain on them.

“You’re a fan too?” I asked while looking at the wristbands. Random much. Why thank you Rose. Your welcome. Crazy bitch.

“Yeah, I even know the lead singer. Thanks to a friend.” Benn leaned down and kissed my neck.

I felt the warmth of his lips against my neck. “Benn…”

“I’m here for you anytime, Rose. I’m sorry for being such an idiot,” I could feel his mouth form the words on my neck.

“I know you are…but only as a friend…for now. I don’t know,” I felt so torn.

He let go of my waist and turned away. With that done, he headed deeper into the woods. Benn looked back with a smirk right before disappeared.

I stood alone for a moment, but started to walk after I couldn’t hear his footsteps. Making my way back to the parking lot was much easier than yesterday. Thank goodness for sneakers and forest paths. I felt happy, until I spotted a muscular figure leaning against my car door.

The figure was Matt. And he didn’t look the least bit happy to see me. Please don’t tell me he knew!

“We have to talk,” he firmly stated.

I figured it was best to play dumb right then. “About what?”

“What’s this I hear about you cheating with that new kid Derrick?”

This was about Derrick?! Holy cow, I thought he saw me and Benn! Damn, I’d thought my heart would burst!

“Rose, why aren’t you denying it?” he looked so hurt and betrayed.

“Look, Matt, Derrick and I are just friends,” I tried to ease his mind.

“Yeah, so what kind of friends meet late at night at a park known for romance?!” Matt was pretty pissed. He’s never raised his voice at me before. What happened to sweet and caring Mattie?

“Matt, where did you hear that?” Derrick and I didn’t do anything…Oh no; did someone see and spread far-fetched rumors?

His voice lowered as his eyes met mine. “Is it true?”

I rested a hand on his shoulder, but he moved as if my touch burned him, “Matt, please, we didn’t do anything!” I felt like crying. I wanted him to believe me, but at the same time I knew I didn’t deserve his trust. Not after thinking about other guys.

“I never thought I’d say this, but Rose, I don’t believe you. And quite frankly, I do believe that we’re over now. Goodbye, Rose,” he turned and walked away.

Shame. Guilt. Horror. Those were the only feelings I’d felt. Sure I was going to break up with him soon, but I didn’t expect to feel my heart crack so much that it was on the verge of shattering.

Matt has never done anything to upset me. In fact, he was a perfect boyfriend. He was cute, brave, strong, kind…I never did deserve him. He deserved much better than me. This was just the way it should be… After all, he was more like a best friend than a lover.

“Goodbye, Mattie,” it was the last day I’d ever call him that. The name was meaningless now. Sure, we weren’t together, but would he ever talk to me again?

Slowly, I walked out of the parking lot to the front of the school. I didn’t expect to see anyone. I also didn’t expect to trip on anything.

“What the hell?” Well, what do you know, it talked!

I looked beside me and saw Derrick rolled on to his side with an Oath to Pain hat a few inches away from his head. “I’m so sorry! I really didn’t see you down there, I swear!”

Derrick looked at me and laughed as he reached for his hat. “It’s okay, really. I mean, what kind of guy doesn’t like girls falling for him?”

“Oh, Derrick.”

He smiled and sat up while putting the hat back on his head, “That’s me!”

I sighed and lied on the grass. The calm atmosphere was back and I started to feel better. Wait, why the hell was I skipping class again? Oh right, bad boys equal bad influences. Please, someone, get me therapy fast!

“Rose, why aren’t you in class?” this question broke my thoughts.

“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. It was the least I could do to tell the truth after being told that I wasn’t believed. The last thing I needed was for my heart to shatter.

Derrick sat up and looked at me with concern, “What’s wrong? Did anything happen? Wait, did you fall too hard?”

The fact that he cared about my welfare made me smile even more, but at the same time I wanted to cry. I sat up and pulled my knees to my chest. My arms wrapped around my legs and I rested my head on my knees. “Things are just…complicated right now.”

Derrick pulled me into his lap and ran his hand through my hair. He said nothing, but it was as if he knew the silence was exactly what I needed. His posture was at ease as he comforted me.

“You probably think I’m a dork now,” I said as I rubbed my eyes that were threatening to spill tears.

“You’re not a dork,” he said softly.

I gasped when I realized that I wasn’t wearing my second set of clothes.

“What’s wrong?” he sounded worried.

“I’m in hideous clothes. That’s what’s wrong,” I moved away from him and stood up abruptly.

“Rose, I’ve seen you dressed like that before. It’s no big deal,” he reassured me as he pulled me back down into his arms.

I sighed and sat, facing away, on his lap, “You know people are going to assume things if they see us.”

“What does it matter if you and I know what this is?” he asked.

I looked past the school gate and leaned into him, “Thanks for being here, Derrick.”

It didn’t take turning around to know that he smiled, “Anytime, Rose. I’m here for you.”