Beside You

So close but so far away.

That was the first thought that came into my head when we landed in Montreal. I had been so excited to be back in America and to be able to speak English on a regular basis that I had forgotten that we were gonna be in Canada for a little over a week.

Lucky for my jitters and nerves we were leaving for New York City tomorrow morning. Tokio Hotel would be there for about five days over Christmas. We would arrive the twenty-second and leave at 11:30 the twenty-sixth. They would spend that time promoting the tour with a small, secret show, interviews, and a meet and greet on Christmas day. And that was an issue.

I hear the door to the hotel room that Tom, Caoimhe, and I share open and the only one with a key other than me was Tom to I start talking to him without looking at him, “Tom, I have a request.”

“And what might that be?” he asks walking closer to me. I was on the bed, my laptop open, and my eyes focused on it.

“It’s about” I stop as he sits on the bed and instead of seeing rough light brown and blonde I see smooth black. I look up to see what I was seeing and my jaw drops. In place of Tom’s classic dreadlocks, the dreadlocks he’s had for as long as I’ve known him were long, sleek, black cornrows.

“What did you do to your hair?!” I screech, stunned.

“Does it look that bad?” he said in a worried tone.

“No, no, it’s just . . .” I stop trying to find the words, “I wasn’t expecting it and it’s not what I’m use to.”

“So it looks good?”

“Since when” I say running my hands over his newly braided cornrows, “have you ever been concerned what anyone thinks of you?”

“I don’t care what anyone thinks of me” he says defiantly, “except you.”

“Well as long as you don’t get facial surgery and\or get fat I don’t care what you do with your hair, how you dress, or even if you start wearing make-up” I say lightning the mood.

“Let’s just leave the make-up wearing to you, Reaghan, and Bill” he laughs kissing me on the head and slowly working his way down to my mouth, “And the same goes for you” and with that he kisses me on the lips.

But as I start to understand what he said to me I break off mid kiss, “You do realize that in a couple of months I’m going to be getting pretty fat?”

“No, that’s not fat, that’s baby. There is a difference” he states.

“Oh yeah? What’s the difference?”

“You’re pregnant because of me” he says smugly.

“So because you’re responsible for it it’s all good?” I close my laptop and cock my head to the side.

“No, it’s not just good, it’s damn near perfect” he leans in for another kiss and just as our lips are about to me I speak.

“You know you are one cocky bastard right?” I slide back and sit with my back to the headboard.

“Only one small part of my immense charm” he answers moving my laptop farther down the bed and out of his way so he could move closer to me.

“Hmm” I muse as he moves closer, “What’s another small part of your immense charm?”

“This” he simply says as he kisses me with arrogant force and passion at the same time. Have I mentioned how his lips on my skin alone make me feel like I’m on the best drug in the world? Now just imagine what his lips on my lips do to my mental state. It’s no wonder he got me pregnant twice.

“If that’s a small part I hate to see what effect a bigger part of your charm has” I say between our kiss.

“Let’s just say the effect of that bigger part lasts nine months” he says pressing his hips to mine.

I smile into the kiss, “You’re disgusting.”

He stops, a grin on his face, “Not disgusting, just perverted.”

“Same difference” I say barely getting it all out before he’s kissing me again. The kiss deepens when I grab the back of his head with my left hand and he slips his arm around my lower back. He lifted my hips slightly to meet his.

We didn’t hear the door open because all of a sudden I hear Reaghan yell from the hotel room living room, “All right you two, time to cut it out, there are kinder in the room!”

Tom gives a frustrated huff and rests his head in the crook of my neck. I smile at his frustration, “I hope the biggest part of your charm didn’t get too excited.”

“Almost” he said, his voice muffled by the skin of my neck. I look up and Tom slides to my side, his head still in the crook of my neck. In the door way I see Reaghan and she’s got a shocked look on her face.

I give her a what? face and she regains her voice.

“Oh my god Ava, who the hell is this?” she yells at me. I’m so confuse at her reaction but I let her continue, “Did you forget about your fiancé and the father of your daughter? His name is Tom Kaulitz!”

Tom picks up his head slightly and looks at me with a confused look. As I look down I remember Tom’s new cornrows and understand why Reaghan is confused. I get an idea and mouth to Tom, “Play along.”

“Reaghan, it’s not what it like” I say, fake worry and fear in my voice.

Tom cuts in right as I finish, “You have a fiancé! And a kid!” he yells in English and I can tell he’s trying hard to use as much of an American accent as possible. I’ll have to help him on that. Lucky for our little game Reaghan had never really heard any of the guys talk in English so she couldn’t pick up on the accent.

He pauses for a second and looks at me, still not revealing his face to Reaghan. He looks at me like he’s trying to tell me it’s my turn but I can’t speak, it’s just too funny. He looks at me for half a second more when he speaks again, “Oh what the hell I don’t give fuck” he says kissing me again, but I can feel him smile and I do all I can to hold in a laugh. He moves down to my neck and I regain my serious face and look at Reaghan through my eyelashes. She has this stunned look on her face.

Then I see Caoimhe walk in from the living room and Reaghan sees her too. “Keevie!” she says grabbing Caoimhe by the arm.

“But I want to see daddy” she says confused at why she was being stopped. At this point Tom had stopped kissing me altogether.

“That’s not your daddy sweety” Reaghan says with slight bitterness in her voice.

“Yes it is” Caoimhe says defiantly, pulling her arm out of Reaghan’s grip and running to the bed.

“Caoimhe stop!” Reaghan yells.

Caoimhe climbs up the bed and jumps, landing right on Tom’s back. I can feel the air being pushed out of his lungs on my bare skin. He groans at the sudden impact and rolls over. As he rolls he grabs Caoimhe’s waist and starts tickling her, making her squeal like crazy.

“Daddy stop!” she laughs.

“What do you say?” Tom laughs, by now all thoughts of Reaghan have disappeared. You get Tom and Keevie playing together and the rest of the world does not exist, including me.

“Erbarmen!!” she laughs and I can tell she’s getting out of breath.

“Okay” Tom says like nothing had happened.

“I love how you’ve already taught my daughter how to play mercy” I say in English, rolling my eyes.

“Tom, what have you done to your head?” Reaghan decides to use her voice again.

“Glad you finally realized it was me Reaghan” Tom chuckles.

She snorts, “I knew it was you the entire time, I was just playing you like you were trying to play me.”

“Sure” I say humoring her.

She ignores me and continues, “Keevie how did you know it was your daddy?”

“I heard him talk Reaghan, didn’t you hear him too?” Caoimhe asks innocently.

“See Reaghan, the four year old recognizes my voice but you don’t” tom teases Reaghan.

“What ever, if you guys are gonna be mean I’m going to leave” she pouts and stalks out of the room.

“Good cause this is family time!” Tom yells as she opens the door. I hit him in the chest telling him not to be mean.

He turns to me and sticks his tongue out at me. Caoimhe who is sitting in the middle of us looks up and sticks her tongue out also. I, just to show them both up, stick my tongue out and tough my nose. I look down and see Keevie pushing and pulling her tongue in every direction trying to touch it to her tongue. I burst out laughing at the faces she was making, Tom soon joining me. Under our laughs you could hear Keevie giggle, not knowing why, but only laughing because we were.

I run my hand over Tom’s cornrows again and stop laughing, “Why?”

“Why what?” Tom asks moving his hand over his cornrows till he met my hand and held it there for a moment.

“Why’d you get rid of your dreadlocks and get cornrows? You’ve had dreadlocks for as long I’ve known you and you’ve loved them for as long as I’ve known you.”

“Um” he pauses, “Caoimhe, why don’t you go play with your toys in the living room?”

“But I thought it was family time?” she says, a slight whine to her voice.

“Well right now it’s mommy and daddy time” I state, finalizing it.

She clambered off the bad and pouted out to the living room. Tom craned his neck to make sure she was really playing with her toys before talking, “I don’t know, I guess I felt like my dreadlocks were kind of childish and since I’m going to be having my second child soon I figured that I should look more like an adult” he finished with a shrug of his shoulders.

“You don’t have to look like a father to be a father” I say sliding my hand from his head down to his cheek.

“Yeah I know but I feel more like a father” he tries to explain it to me.

“You mean it makes you feel more ready to be a father?” I ask, sure that I’m right.

“I guess, yeah” he shrugs his shoulders again slightly.

“You have nothing to worry about, you’re already amazing with Caoimhe” I say but he cuts me off before I could finish.

“But a four year old and a new born baby are two completely different things” he goes on, “and Keevie is already so independent for a four year old and smart” he rambles on until I stop him.

“Relax. Unlike you it’s not my first time raising a baby” he glares at me as I say that, “so I’ll help you with what ever you don’t know.”

“Which is everything” he mutters.

“Which makes it all the more fun!” I smile.

“For me or for you?” he grumbles.

“Mainly me but you’ll get some enjoyment out of it” I smirk.

“So what is it you wanted to ask me before my hair so rudely interrupted?” he says changing the subject.

“Oh, um it was about Christmas” I say.

“What about Christmas?”

“Well every year except for last year Caoimhe and I come over here on Christmas eve and spend some time with my dad’s family” he cuts me off.

“And you’re wondering if you could go down there while we’re in New York?”

“Actually I was wondering if you would come down with us this year?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“No”