Your Faith in Me

I let out a sigh of exhaustion as I opened the door to my flat, tossing my keys on the table to the side of it I ran a hand through my hair as I closed the door behind me. My eyes roamed the studio, it was clean, just the way I left it every morning, but an abandoned jacket, carelessly strewn on the arm of my couch caught my eye, furrowing my eyebrows in confusion, I walked over and picked it up. The fabric expanded to a size twice mine, lifting it up to my nose, I inhaled the jacket, attempting to recognize the person’s scent. Smiling to myself the second I inhaled it, I set it back carefully on the couch and walked over to the kitchen and grabbed the fresh Chinese take out waiting for me on the kitchen island. I heard footsteps coming from the other side of the wall that separated the kitchen from my room.

“Hey Tom” I smiled as my artificial platinum blonde haired best friend rounded the corner and greeted me with a groggy smile. I laughed at him as I turned around in the kitchen and walked over to the cup board to get us plates for the steaming hot food waiting for us to be eaten. Standing on the tips of my toes I reached for the plates, Tom laughed walking up behind me and extending his hand to grab the plates for me.

“Hello there best friend” He said placing the plates next to the food, and I gladly wrapped my arms around him as he gave my cheek a quick peck, I let go of him and he rounded the kitchen island and sat down on the stool across from me. I grabbed the paper cartons, shoving food on both plates and extended one of them to him. He graciously took his plate and began stuffing his mouth as if he hadn’t eaten for days.

“Calm down dude. No need to be stuffing it down your throat as is if there’s no tomorrow” I scoffed taking a bite out of my own food, I began to chew on the chow mien as Tom took a break from scarfing down his food and stuck his tongue out at me. I stuck mine back as I got up to get us some drinks. The cold tile against my feet were comforting as I remembered the hot summer day blaring outside.

“It’s not my fault I’m starving, I came here straight from the airport, ordered the food on the way, and crashed the second I dropped my bags off in your room” He told me with a roll of his eyes as I came back to the island with two cans of Coke in my hand. I handed him his, and the both of us simultaneously popped them open and took a drink. I fought back a hiccup as I placed the can back on the counter and reached for my fork.

“Well poor, poor you Tom. I had someone freaking creeper grope me today on the way inside. They just totally grabbed my ass out of nowhere. Excuse me for saying that it was totally scar me for life status” I told him nodding my head profusely as I slammed my fork on the counter and crossed my arms. Tom stifled a laugh, wiping the corner of his mouth with a napkin and I scrunched my nose up. It wasn’t funny. I didn’t see how it could be funny. I wasn’t a piece of meat.

“Yeah, well I had to sit next a teenager who kept on staring at me the whole time, I swear she was about to attempt to jump my bones in the middle of the flight” He told me shivering in his seat as he recollected the horrible event. I on the other hand couldn’t contain it as I burst out in laughter. The thought of that happening, as it frequently did in actuality, was something that I found hilarious every time. Even more so when you were actually there to witness it first hand. But I hadn’t seen it happen in a while.

“At least you don’t have to deal with bridezilla’s everyday, not to mention all these celebrities who want to have the hottest parties, can you imagine all the pressure I have on my back being the youngest event planner at the most prestige company in the United States” I told him in frustration running a hand through my hair. Work had been hell for me today, I had a wedding and two parties to plan in the next month and to say it wasn’t going to be easy was a total understatement.

“But you’re amazing at what you do Kristen, you have nothing to worry about.” Tom encouraged as he placed his napkin on the table, and went in for another bite. I let out a sigh, running a hand through my hair after placing my fork on the counter. I had finished my food and I walked over to the sink and put my plate in the sink. I turned around, leaning against the counter and looked at Tom who had just finished his food. Getting up, Tom walked over to the sink and placed his in as well and the both of us walked to my room together.

“I know I’m amazing at what I do Tom. That’s irrelevant.” I told him with a roll of my eye as I walked over to my walk in closet and looked for some clothes to change into. I wanted out of my tight skinny jeans right now. I heard Tom walk into the bathroom, sure that he was changing out of his flight clothes as well as I put on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. I plopped down on my bed, turning on the plasma television and settling for some Rob Dyrdek’s Fantasy Factory on MTV.

“Well you were the one who was complaining. Don’t give me attitude” Tom retorted as he walked out of the bathroom in his boxers and a t-shirt. I rolled my eyes, relaxing in my bed as he took his usual spot next to me when he was visiting. Tom and I were best friends, we were comfortable together we had seen each other at their worst, and so sleeping in the same bed, even being naked in the same room wasn’t awkward for us. Which would be really weird for other people, but it wasn’t for us. It was hard to explain.

“I’m not complaining you idiot. I’m simply telling you that I already knew that” I told him with a smug grin, Tom reached over and smacked my stomach playfully, and I reached out and hit him in the middle of the stomach right after. He let out a mock groan of pain, and crossed his arms, as he settled down to watch the show as well. I couldn’t help but laugh out loud at the show as Drama and Rob stimulated a Shark Attack in the middle of the pool with everyone staring. It was all too funny.

“I don’t know why I put up with you” Tom joked eyeing my wearily, I scoffed rolling my eyes at him. I sat up, pulling the covers in between my legs as I did so. Turning so that I was facing him I shoved my face in front of his aggressively, Tom just rolled his eyes at me even though I was trying to scare him, and all I wanted to do was punch him in the face for that smug face he had.

“You put up with me because you love me” I told him with a kind smile, as I patted his head like a little kid. I blew him a kiss and laughed as I laid back down on my side of the bed and closed my eyes. I let out a yell of annoyance as Tom’s arms wrapped themselves around me and trapped me in a headlock. My hair was tangled in a matter of seconds and I tried to push him off, but he was too strong and I gave up, letting him have his fun.

“That is exactly why, I love you Ronnie, and I really missed you” He told me letting my head go, his hands traveled down to embrace me in a warm loving hug, I returned it with a smile. I hadn’t seen Tom for more than six months, and the amount of missing him in those days were always present. Tom was the person that I ran to when my world came crashing down. He was the one that I could confide in, and not ever have to worry about him hating me.

“I know, I missed you too Tom, but you’re squishing me to death” I told him stuttering for breath as his arms locked me in place. He laughed letting me go and I settled back into my spot. I turned my attention to the television, enjoying Rob’s crazy life. It was quiet, too quite, way more quiet than it normally was. Tom would usually be laying beside me running his mouth like crazy. My gaze traveled to Tom.

Something was wrong, Tom looked wrong. His hair was disheveled, and even though it was never perfect, there was something about the way it was tossed in a million directions that made me uneasy. There were huge bags under his eyes that were never usually there, as if he hadn’t slept for days, which was crazy seeing as Tom usually passed out the second his eyes closed. But most of all, he looked thin, Tom was naturally thin, he wasn’t meaty, he didn’t bulk up, or buff out, but he was too thin, he had at least dropped ten pounds since the last time I saw him. His body language was just off, for some reason, it was like he was weaker, distraught, and that scared me. He laid there silently perfectly still the only source of movement being his chest rising up and down with each breath he took, but his gaze wasn’t directed towards the television, instead, he lay staring at the edge of the bed, his jaw locked, I knew that he could feel my gaze on him, yet he didn’t look up, and after a few seconds, I knew why, he was too afraid to look anywhere else other than the edge of the bed, anywhere but at me, as he tried to hide the fresh tears that were threatening to escape from his eyes from me.

“What happened Tom? Why are you here in San Francisco?” I asked him quietly, I sat up in bed next to him, cupping my neck with my hands, my eyebrows furrowed in concern as my best friend in the whole world struggled to look me in the eye, his hands clenched tensely on his side, I reached over to grab his right hand in mine, and I internally grimaced, even his hands felt rougher then they usually did. I gave him an encouraging squeeze, knowing that he wanted to tell me what was bugging him, but it was something that was really tearing him into little shreds, and with huge struggle, he sucked in a big breath as his gaze slowly reached mine. I nodded my head, biting my lip as I encouraged him to tell me, I knew that he felt alone right now, hopeless in his situation, and I knew that he needed to know now more than ever that I was here for him as I fought the tears that were now threatening to fall from my eyes. I hated seeing him in pain.

“We broke up Kristen” He finally muttered after a few unbearable seconds of looking at me in silence, his jaw clenched as he tried now more than ever to hold back the fresh tears stinging at his eyes, my jaw dropped in utter shock. I couldn’t believe it, of all things, that just wasn’t possible. Him and Jade were attached at the hip. They were so in love. He was so in love, he would do anything for her. Jade was his world. He wanted to marry her. The last time I had talked to him, which was just last week, he was ready to propose to her. And Jade loved him. She was so happy with him. But as I looked at a tear stricken Tom, who was biting back on his lip, eyebrows furrowed, my heart dropped at the realization that it had indeed happened. My free hand went up to cup my mouth as I rushed closer to his side and enveloped him in my arms. Tom returned the embrace instantaneously his arms locking around my waist as if I was the only thing anchoring him to this moment, and I felt my heart break as he cried helplessly into my chest. My hand wove through his hair, trying to calm him down as I stroked it, running my hand over his head to assure him. I wanted him to know, that I was going to be there for him. As long as he needed me, whatever he needed of me, if he needed to stay here, he could, as long as he needed to. If he needed me to hold him while he cried in my arms, I would. Because the truth was, I would bend over backwards for him to be happy, because he was the most deserving person I knew. In fact, he had been there for me just like this when I had been going through the darkest time in my life, which meant that above anything else in my life, I would be there for him in his greatest time of need. And for a long time, I laid there with him, my arms around him locked there holding him close to me. With Tom crying into me, every tear that fell from his eyes were each like knives stabbing into my heart, tearing me apart piece by piece, and then I remembered that whatever I was feeling now, wasn’t even half as bad as what he was feeling inside. His heart, was broken, ripped to shreds by the one person he trusted it with. The one person in the entire world that he felt whole with, who he felt so in sync with, who he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, had decided to turn their back on him. And I hated it. I hated Jade.

I had never liked Jade to begin with. From the start I had felt like she was a manipulative person who was only using Tom for what he had. Tom was charming, and wealthy, he had high friends in high places, he was a gentleman, and above all, he was a great, loving person, with every fiber in his body. And she knew that. The first time I met Jade she was snooty and incompetent, her nose was stuck in the air the whole time, and the way she acted around me and the rest of our friends, looking at us as if we were vermin was down right offensive. Tom was too blind to see it, but I didn’t blame him, I knew why. She was a good actress, the way her attitude could change into Sandy sweetheart was impressive. One second she would be looking at us, acting as if we were the scum of the earth, and the next she was hugging us, playfully grabbing us on the shoulder, smiling hugely and laughing as if we were best friends. I told Tom, and he said that I was imagining it, I didn’t know her good enough to say that I wasn’t, so I let it go. But it didn’t stop, every time she came it was the same old thing. But every time she came I could see how much more in love Tom had grown with her. I wasn’t going to be one to ruin that. Tom deserved to be in love, and if he was in love with her, then that was enough. No matter how much any of us didn’t like her, no matter how much the rest of his friends hated her, I wasn’t going to be one to kill that. If he loved her, then there was obviously something that he saw in her that made him want to drop everything to be with her. And that was enough for me. There was something there for him, when a person loved someone, they didn’t need to have a list of reasons why they did, they didn’t have to defend that love, it just was. And I understood that every time I saw Tom look at her. And when Tom told me that he was going to propose to her, I didn’t know what to say, other than that I was happy for him. I didn’t know whether to be ecstatic or absolutely disgusted at the situation. By the looks of it, it was to be the latter of the two.

I looked down at Tom, who was hysterically crying in my arms, and my heart broke even more, if that was possible, at the sight of my best friends, a grown, beautiful man, balling his eyes out like an innocent baby. And I hated Jade for doing that to him. I hated her for ripping Tom apart at the seams. And I knew that it wasn’t a mutual break up. Not by the way Tom was crying his soul out in my arms right now. And he didn’t deserve this. It seemed as if Tom was being physically tortured as he practically yelled out in pain. And that’s how it was for a long time. Tom cried his heart out in my arms, and I laid there beside him. He needed me to be his strong hold and I would be. A long time passed, and soon enough, the tears could no longer fall out of his eyes, both of us awake, Tom gripped onto me, pulling me closer to him as he laid there in pain, needing more than anything to be held. After a while though, all of it seemed to have drained me of all my remaining energy, and I found myself falling asleep locked in his embrace, his head resting on my chest.