Make Me Wanna Die

“Tay?” a guy in his early thirties who happened to be her band mate peeked his head from the door and smiled to the sixteen-year-old singer. “Are you ready yet? It’s the after show party. You’re catching it?”

Taylor nodded her blonde and plastered her rosy red lips with smile. “I’m coming, Ben” she said briefly before she checked her appearance for the last time, brushing some smeared mascara and ran her fingers through her blonde. She followed her guitar player to the spot where the After Show Party was held.

Taylor was in a band called The Pretty Reckless, and tonight, half of them were going to the After Show party in this Warped Tour season.

“Where’s Mark?” Taylor asked when they were heading to the party.

“He’s seeing his wife and Jamie is nowhere to be seen” Ben replied.

“So I’m stuck with you?” Taylor smiled her innocent smile as Ben showed his crooked smile to the little girl.

“Party always defined with boozes, dear. I’m here to look up for you, Michael your dad wouldn’t be pleased if he found his lovely daughter got hammered” Ben said fatherly and slung his strong arm around Taylor protectively.

“Ugh. However, this is Warped, Ben. We’re here already and I’m just a sixteen year old, what could you ask for more? I’m curious about stuffs” Taylor grinned

“I’m just doing my job, besides being your guitarist, Tay. I’m one of your dad’s good friends, so…”

“Does it mean I can’t even touch beers? God, Ben. I drink that in my friend’s parties”

“We’ll look for it, Tay” Ben wiggled his brows playfully at the underage teen as they reached the party spot. And before they headed inside, Ben reassured Taylor again, “being rockstar is one of your desired passions, but that doesn’t mean you have to be influenced with the rock n roll lifestyle. Your mom and dad wouldn’t be proud if you’re becoming the next Sid”

“Right-o, unc Ben” Taylor rolled her blue pools and chuckled. Ben Philips was always being her protective guardian, because her dad asked him to look out for her during the Warped Tour. Besides that, Taylor always thought that Ben was her long lost uncle.

As far as Taylor and Ben came inside the party, they found so many lined up bands that paid presence there. Usually, Ben would be hanging out with the guys in his age, like the chairman of the Warped, the tour managers, the sponsors and the list still goes on.

On the other way, Taylor was being the youngest singer there, so she needed to join a couple of young bands.

Taylor swam herself inside the crowd and found a petite girl with reddish brown hair was hailing her hand at Taylor.

“Tay!” Taylor greeted a girl who hung with the other guys. The girl lit up her head and smiled at Taylor.

“Tay!” the girl called out back and motioned Taylor to come joining her. Her feet made their way to the group of bands who were there. They were We Are The In Crowd, VersaEmerge, and Hey Monday.

Taylor hardly could find girls to hang out with in Warped, so it only came with whether it’s Tay Jardine, Sierra Kusterbeck, Cassadee Pope and Jessica Bowen. But Taylor spent her time more with Tay since they knew because for some reasons, their music was pretty in common and, they had similar names. They’re the Taylors.

Taylor sat next to Tay and hung there for a bit. She saw a couple of We Are The In Crowd members but they were busy with themselves, leaving Tay alone.

“How’s the show? Mine was pretty awkward” Tay explained and giggled a little bit “You know, I’m not getting use to perform in big crowds already”

Taylor grinned, “Well, I heard you mistook the lyrics?”

Tay nodded, “Pretty much, I have a slight phobia with crowds actually. So yes, everything got into my nerves”

“But you’re not bad being a newbie. Well, same here, y’know I’m new with the music industries”

“But you’re in the Hollywood cycle already, you’re doing the modeling and that famous TV show, Tays” Tay stated. “How’s being in Hollywood anyway?” Tay asked while she took a bottle of beer in front of her and chugged it down her throat.

“Hmm... I feel awesome?” Taylor replied with big grin on her lips.

“Lucky little bitch,” Tay stuck out her tongue at Taylor before she’s cut off by loud shriek from beside her.

“Oh! Aren’t you my famous Taylor?” Sierra cut in between Taylor and Tay, hugging Taylor while Taylor laughed warmly. Sierra turned her head to Tay and slung her arm around Tay and Taylor’s. “And my little Taylor Jardine”

“Sierra, you sound so old being near us” Tay cringed playfully.

Sierra winced at Tay and glared playfully at her. “Are you trying to say, I’m an old nanny?”

“MIND READER!” Tay teased as Sierra cupped Tay’s cheeks and pinched them leaving Tay moaned in pain.

Taylor could only laugh at Sierra and Tay. She felt warm with the friendship she’s been building during the tour especially with the girls like Tay and Sierra. Even she’s the youngest; she could tell she could still hang out with the girls.

Sierra was the one who called herself with Big Sister over Tay, her, and Jess, especially toward Taylor. Sierra loved to talk with Taylor and had come to call her with ‘baby-sissy’. However, that didn’t bother Taylor, she’s fine with it. She felt to be the part of Warped family, and the girls made it with being her second family.

“Eh, Kusterbeck,” a slurred voice came from the girls’ back. The girls turned their head and found the slightly drunk guy whom rubbing his eyes with his fist. He was wearing a beanie and his infamous Hide and Seek clothing t-shirt. His shaggy hair was a bit messy in his state. He handed a red cup and downed the drink for a moment.

“Hmm? Whats up, Dev?” Sierra replied while Tay and Taylor stared at Devin.

“Did you see Blake? I’m kinda lost here” Devin Ingelido, the bass player of VersaEmerge replied innocently. Taylor’s blue pools examined Devin’s as she smiled briefly to him when he glanced to her. Devin smirked slightly to Taylor.

“Maybe he went early,” Sierra said.

“I’m bored,” Devin ran his fingers along his brunette head. “Can I join you girls?” Devin’s almost drunken eyes asked the three girls being all gooney.

“No, unless you’re trying to grow some extra vagina” Sierra said while Taylor and Tay laughed out loud making Devin growled.

“God, Sie, no need to be harsh”

“Oh please Devin, I’m just kidding.” Sierra grinned and moved her seat to be next to Devin, tapping his back and still smiling. Devin shoved himself in between the girls.

“I’m pretty sensitive when I’m drunk,” Devin confessed then earned some loud giggle from Tay. Devin lit his head to see the little Tay Jardine enjoyed the fun. “I see you finally have girls for friends, Sie. I thought you only hang with boys”

“Wow, Dev. I suppose you need to upgrade your glasses. You don’t see that the other bands also have some girl members in them?”

“I don’t really pay attention over it” Devin shrugged his shoulders off and chugged his red plastic cup again.

“That’s weird, since I know your major interest to find hot girls and to impress them” Sierra rolled her honey colored eyes.

“Do you mean I’m not hot so Devin doesn’t notice me?” Tay pouted her lips childishly at Sierra.

Sierra laughed and ruffled Tay’s head, “I’m not saying that” Sierra added, “I’m just saying Devin might think you just less hot than me, right Dev?” Sierra said before he turned to Devin.

Devin rolled his eyes at Sierra, “Whatever, Sie. Anyway, who are your friends?” Devin’s eyes were fixated to Taylor who’s been playing with her iPhone at the moment. She decided to play with her iPhone since Sierra and Tay were fixated on Devin’s

“Oh, I’m sorry. This is Tay Jardine from We Are The In Crowd,” Sierra pointed Tay and Tay said her low ‘hi’ to Devin. “This is Taylor Momsen from The Pretty Reckless” Sierra turned to Taylor.

Taylor instantly turned her head to Devin then pursued a smile at him. She greeted him while he crooked a smile at Taylor and nodded.

Against reaching Tay’s hand, he chose to offer his hand at Taylor first. Taylor let out her hand and slightly smiled to him.

“Devin. Devin Ingelido” he shook Taylor’s delicate hand and for some reasons, when they touched, it sent some nervous jolt in Taylor mind. He smiled widely and Taylor could find his eyes were thinking when he stared at her for a couple moments.

“Taylor Momsen” Taylor said briefly and pulled back her hand that started to grow some flames inside it when it touched Devin’s big hand.

Devin nodded and lingered his eyes on Taylor’s quaintly.

“You’re somehow reminding me of someone. You look familiar…” Devin spoke. Sierra and Tay giggled at Devin. Sierra clicked her tongue to him and shook her head. She sent her message look at Taylor as Taylor shrugged.

“Remember when your twelve year old baby sister came by to our bus, Dev?” Sierra started as Devin’s attention was now on Sierra. Taylor observed Devin’s look and scoffed playfully at how goofy he was when he’s slightly drunk like that. Nevertheless, he’s still looking good.

Taylor reminded every VersaEmerge’s set and she could always watch Devin from distance. She never gave a damn about the boys from VersaEmerge, including Devin. However, when she met Devin closely like this, she somehow found something different. His warm yet drunken smile amused her.

Maybe Taylor tended to have interest with this guy?

Taylor actually had seen Devin since the Warped began; he hung a lot with his band mates. Taylor was sure that Devin was the kind of guy who mostly plays cool, but he could be goofy sometimes especially when he’s drunk.

Sadly, when she knew Sierra, she didn’t get chance to know him as well but at the same time, she’s already known Blake.

“Ugh, that little disaster” Devin reminded “She sabotaged the TV to watch this show…. what is it? Ugh... The Gossip—Infotainment shows... uhmm... it’s like the E!” he tried to remember about the show.

“It’s Gossip Girl, Dev” Tay helped him.

“Oh yeah, that trashy show. It told about some overloaded teenagers who lived in Manhattan?” He played with his lips trying to think more about this trashy show. Taylor grinned widely at Devin and suddenly he was snapped.

“Oh shit,” he muttered “You’re there, If I’m not mistaken?” Devin pointed Taylor and she just nodded. Taylor let out her silent giggle and was against speaking too much.

“Shit, sorry. I didn’t mean to say that it’s trashy. You know, it’s annoying to watch your baby sister sabotaged the Hokey match” Devin chuckled nervously and he arched his brows as if he had another bright bulbs above his head. “Oh! That’s what Kevin talked about! He said a Hollywood actress would be in Warped! So it was you!”

“God, you’re such a dumbass, Dev. Kevin has told that for millionth times, and he’s quite excited about Taylor’s presence here,” Sierra explained.

“Well yes, I guess it’s my first debut here,” Taylor finally spoke her limited words. She hardly spoke in the entire conversation. She’s enjoying her time to watch Devin spoke. Creepy, but she just found it amusing.

“Wow, why’s on earth I’ve never seen you here? You’re kinda hot, y’know” Devin blabbered as Sierra rolled her eyes. Sierra knew about Devin’s antic around girls.

“Well thank you, Devin” Taylor smiled shyly. Devin seemed a pretty nice guy.

~***~

Devin and Blake were wandering around the venue with taco on their hands. They just ended their set like 2 hours ago and so they needed some fresh air. And fresh air in Devin’s definition was to find hotties around the venue.

Devin munched his taco, stuffing it into his chipmunk cheeks as Blake snorted cynically at him.

“Wharrr?” Devin arched his brows.

“Dude, you look like an idiot,” Blake admitted looking at Devin’s crook mouth where the sauce burst out from it.

Devin managed to swallow the taco as he replied Blake, “You look like a mountain monkey” he spat back. Blake rolled his eyes at Devin and continued to walk around. They walked near to Smart Punk stage where the crowds gathered to see the band. Devin spotted Tay Jardine in We Are The In Crowd sang through the microphone.

Blake and Devin walked away as Devin’s eyes fixated to a figure who was approaching them. Devin quickly nudged Blake.

“Dude, that’s the chick” he whispered.

Blake arched his eyebrows, “What?”

“She’s pretty hot, right?”

“Alright?” Blake replied, clueless.

“I met her, and hung with her for a bit. She’s pretty cool too, y’know” Devin smirked.

Blake showed his uninterested look at Devin’s antic, he only nodded effortlessly.

“Hey!” Taylor greeted the boys with bright smile. Devin greeted back as his trailed around her cute face. “Haven’t seen you in a while, Dev”

“Yeah, you too, Blondie” Devin smirked. He turned to Blake who had oblivious look at his eyes. “Blake, this is Taylor Momsen, the chick whom Kevin told about. You know, the Hollywood chick” Devin winked playfully at Taylor. And for a couple odd reasons, the sixteen-year-old girl couldn’t help but smiled awkwardly. Her cheeks turned deep red when the shaggy good-looking Ingelido winked suggestively to her.

“Oh…” Blake nodded in excitement. “You’re that Jenny chick in Gossip Girl! I love that show!” Blake admitted with wide smile plastered on his face.

“Wow, thanks” Taylor smiled genuinely as she turned to Devin who shrugged his shoulder off, making faces. Taylor giggled at his goofiness. Taylor didn’t figure that Blake’s favorite show would be Gossip Girl. It’s just a bit odd to see guys actually watch that girly show.

“So what’s up?” Devin asked

“Just wandering around, I was about to find Tay, but she’s busy. I met Jess, but she’s off somewhere with her bandmates, and I don’t find Sierra anywhere. Do you guys see her?” Taylor asked as she wiped her sweat off her forehead. Summer’s always hot and Taylor’s skin started to tan. Taylor pulled up her blonde into a ponytail.

“Well, I don’t really know. Maybe she’s in our bus. Sleeping, she sometimes takes a power nap after the show,” Blake answered. He sipped his apple juice and turned to his partner who concentrated with the girl in front of him. Blake frowned when he spotted something weird on Devin’s serious stare. It wasn’t the way he used to look at girls he tried to impress.

“Oh… I needed her company. However, well, okay then. I guess I should go back to my own bus” Taylor spoke as she said her goodbyes to the boys and was about to spun her heels away from the boys.

“Hey wait up,” a voice from Devin made Taylor turned back with hidden smile played on her lips.

“You can hang with us for a bit, do you play Mario Kart?” Devin smirked suggestively at Taylor. Taylor grinned and giggled like high school girls.

“That’s cool” Taylor nodded and followed the boys. She tailed them from behind and then walked right next to Blake. Blake smiled briefly to her and then instantly turned his head to Devin, making faces.

Blake glared asking for answers from Devin with his ‘What the hell was that?’ look

Devin showed his ‘She’s hot and she’s cool, so yeah’ look at Blake. Blake shook his head and groaned silently while Taylor wore his sunglasses because the sun shone really right above them.

Devin glanced to the girl and checked her out briefly; making Blake elbowed him on the stomach. Devin moaned when Blake’s strong elbow hit him, Devin glared to Blake but Blake shot his warning look.

Devin examined Taylor’s attire that time. Loosen wide sleeveless black Def Leppard t-shirt with black bra underneath it. She also wore a pair of black ruffled panties plus black sneakers. Taylor glanced to Devin; he had a playful look that made her young heart beat faster.

What happened to me? Was all she could as in her mind.

~***~