You Can Let Go Now

Now those memories come back to haunt me, they haunt me like a curse. -Bruce Springsteen

"Oooh...I like this," Taylor said, holding up a shirt. Sidney was taking her shopping for summer clothes and to spend some time with his younger sister. Sidney looked up and nodded.

"And you don't," she added. Usually he would say something about the shirt if he like it.

"It's too low cut, I don't want you wearing that around boys," Sidney said, glancing from his sister to the shirt. He shivered.

"Sidney..." Taylor said, giggling, "there are no boys in my life. Only you."

"Good," he said, wrapping a protective arm around her shoulders, "keep it that way."

Taylor squirmed, getting out of his grip, "Okay, okay. I will."

They went back to shopping and Taylor must have tried on a hundred outfits- in Sidney's opinion. But it was okay, he had fun with his little sister. Despite the age difference, she was one of his best friends, she just seemed to understand things.

"Em would have loved this," Taylor said looking at her reflection with a shirt in front of her body. She didn't realize what she said until she saw her brother's body stiffen through the mirror.

Her eyes got wide and she turned around, apologizing, "Oh god- Sid, I'm so sorry, I wasn't thinking-"

"Tay it's fine," he said shaking his head, "I'm fine. Really."

Taylor frowned, looking at her older brother. She knew that he was silently struggling to deal with what happened. But Sidney gave her a small smile and said, "I like it, too. You should get it."

Taylor stared at him for a moment before realizing he was talking about the shirt again. "Oh, yeah. I should."

After Sidney paid for their clothes, he got some swim trunks for himself, then took Taylor out to lunch.

"Are you going to have any one come out for your day with the cup?" Taylor asked as they waited in line for their sandwiches.

Sidney shrugged, "I don't know. Max said he would come, but I don't know yet."

"I like Max, he's funny. You should have him come out," Taylor said.

"You stay away from him, he's dangerous," Sidney told her.

Taylor rolled her eyes; sometimes Sidney could be way over protective. "I think he's nice and funny. He's also one of your best friends," Taylor stated, sitting down after they got their lunches.

Sidney stayed quiet, she was right. Instead of constantly nagging him, asking him if he was okay, after the accident Max had told him he was there for him if he needed to talk, but didn't bother him anymore. Some of the people around Sid tried to make Sid take down the walls he put so carefully around himself, but he only retreated back more.

"Maybe I should invite him," Sidney thought aloud, "I'll give him a call later."

"Good!" Taylor said excitedly, "Can we go on your boat tomorrow?" she asked.

"Tay, it's like the first day of summer. We have two months!" Sidney reminded her, laughing.

"Please? C'mon, it'll just be me and you!" Taylor pleaded, knowing she would get her way. Sidney could never say no to her, but she guess she was the same way with him.

"Fine," Sidney said, smiling as her face lit up, "but you better be ready by eleven or we're not going."

"I'll be ready, I promise," Taylor said eagerly.

That night, Sidney repeatedly tapped his fingers in a pattern, trying desperately to think of something, or someone, other than Emily. His psychologist told him he had obsessive compulsive tendencies, but they were too mild to be diagnosed with OCD.

He couldn't help it though, she always came into his mind and it made it that much harder to accept the reality of her death. In fact, Sidney never talked about the death part. He talked about her as if she was still alive, it was easier that way. The team psychologist he was forced to go to regularly after her death to try and make sure he was still focused on playoffs had told him he was in shock and denial.

Rolling over, he came face to face with a picture Emily had given him. They had gone on vacation with Vero and Marc and a few other guys to Mexico. Emily had her legs wrapped around his waist as he held her up in his arms, kissing her. Vero had snapped the picture, and it later became Em's favorite.

Picking the picture up with shaky hands, Sidney stared at it, wondering if he'd ever be that happy again. Without her, he was sure it wasn't possible. Putting the frame back, making sure it was placed exactly like it was before he touched it, Sidney rolled over again. He hoped that he wouldn't have a nightmare about that damn accident that changed everything.

Elizabeth laughed with her friends as they remembered her birthday, a few nights earlier. "God, that was a great night," McKenzie said, peeling of her sundress. They were at the beach on the lake.

"It was, it was. Hey do you guys want to rent a little boat? I really want to go out on the lake," Elizabeth asked.

Their friend Ashley nodded, "Yes! It'll be fun. We can bring binoculars and search for hot boys."

McKenzie and Elizabeth looked at each other, rolling their eyes. Unlike them, Ashley thought about boys all the time. It was as if she couldn't have fun with out them.

Once they got out on the lake, McKenzie asked her friend, "So....how's Matty boy?"

Elizabeth's cheeks got red, "I don't know, I haven't really talked to him. At all actually."

McKenzie and Ashley laughed. "I've never seen you as a one night stand girl," Ashley stated.

Elizabeth's eyebrows rose in surprise, "I've done them before,"

"I know, it's just you knew those guys. This is a first, he was a complete stranger."

Shrugging, Elizabeth smiled and said, "Yeah, well maybe I'll go for strangers again. He was good."

"Liz!" McKenzie gasped, then laughed.

"What?" She asked innocently.

Her friends laughed and shook their heads, McKenzie adding, "Well congrats, girl. HE was sexy. Did you see the ugly ass people I had to deal with?"

Elizabeth rolled her eyes at her friend, "You didn't have to deal with anyone. You could have just NOT made out with people."

McKenzie shook her head, looking offended, "That's not my game."

Elizabeth laughed, shaking her head at her silly best friend, wondering if she'd ever settle down.