Emotions Run Wild

I awake screaming, it feels like my stomach is on fire! I see Jasper run to the bed leaning over me, every thing is a bit blurry as another wave of pain hits me.

I can feel Jaspers power trying to calm me down but it’s not working as the pain builds. I hear shouting as Carlisle tries talking to me but the noise is muffled by another scream from me.

I clutch my stomach, what is happening? I see Carlisle yelling at Jasper, but Jaspers shaking his head then runs out of the room. I try calling out to him but it becomes a scream of agony.

“Scarlet!?” I hear Carlisle yell, but it’s faint as if he were very much farther away then he is. I shake my head in indication that I heard him because I don’t dare use my voice. It would more then likely come out a scream anyways.

“Scarlet you have to make a decision if you want to be turned now, your going to die if you don’t. The baby has sufficed, I’m sorry but Scarlet you have to choose now!” Carlisle’s words sting me deeper then anything I’ve ever heard before.

I’m not naïve I knew my baby wouldn’t have survived either way, but I just could crush that nagging voice in the back of my head that said “What if?”. Tears sting my eyes as this becomes just to much for me to handle.

For a moment I contemplate just dying here with my baby, letting fate put me out of my misery. No more emotions, abandoning mother, druggie aunt, Alice, heartbreak, or suffering. But also no more Jasper, Bella, Carlisle, Emmett, Esme, Edward, life, love, happiness, no traveling the world, no traveling the world with Jasper, yeah that sounds good. Travel the world with Jasper, I may even marry that man someday.

“Scarlet!” Carlisle snaps me out of my thoughts, the pain faded somewhat so the world seems a bit clearer.

“Carlisle, I want to stay with him forever.” I nod my eyes slowly closing, I can feel my heart beat slow down and it becomes harder to breathe.

I feel the last breath leave my lips and my heart stops for a second then I feel a pain like wild fire erupt from my arm. My eyes snap open and a blood curdling scream comes from my lips.

I didn’t know pain like this was possible or even real, I scream again and see Jasper also fly through the door and to my side. Carlisle motions for Edward and Emmett who I hadn’t even seen enter the room to Jasper.

“You don’t want to see her like this.” Carlisle says softly and I scream again, I wish I could just say that I wanted Jasper to stay but the best I could do was a shaky out-stretched arm in his direction.

Carlisle takes my hand genially and smiles sympathetically down at me. Tears prickle my eyes again as I look away taking my hand from his, he soon walks out of the room after many encouraging words.

The pain is intense but manageable, the thing that keeps me going through all this Jasper sitting out side the door reading me poetry. Emmett there too just making sure he doesn’t try to sneak in, I understand Carlisle’s wish. If it were me I would go crazy seeing Jasper in this kind of pain.

“Light through the darkness is profound attraction.” Jasper reads me a quote that I find comforting in this type of pain. I close my eyes as he reads it again, maybe I can get a bit of relief form this pain. Just enough to sleep.