Living Life in a Downward Spiral

It's been a few says since my little accident, and it was also the day that Deen was leaving. I was sitting on the couch as I watched them take all of Deen's boxes out to the cars. I didn't want to help because that would just mean he would be gone faster.

"Stef." Uncle Brian said softly, sitting next to me. "We're gonna leave in a few. Are you sure you don't want to come?" I shook my head, holding the pillow closer to me. "It's not like he's leaving forever. I'm sure he'll be happy to have you over every day."

"It's not the same."

He sighed, kissing me on the forehead and stood up. "Sometimes we just need to let go."

Nobody understand...

"Will you at least come say good-bye?" Mom asked, a pleading look in her eyes. I knew this day was hard enough already for her, so I figured the least I could do was say bye.

No matter how much it would hurt.

I walked out the front door and found the whole family in the drive way. Mom was hugging Deen again for the millionth time in the last hour.

"He'll be fine, Gena." Lacey said, wrapping an arm around Mom's shoulders.

"You just wait until the twins grow up." Mom said, wiping her eyes.

Deen finally looked up and saw me standing in the door way. He didn't bother to smile as he walked towards me. "How do you feel?" He asked, stroking my hair.

"Don't bullshit, Deen." I said, looking down.

"Hey." He lifted my chin back up and made me look at him. I'm not bullshitting. I want to know how my baby sister feels because she's still recovering." I looked at him and couldn't help but let a few tears fall." I looked at him and couldn't help but let a few tears fall. "Why are you crying?" He asked softly as he wiped the tears away.

"You're leaving me."

"Baby, I'm just across town, not a whole other state."

"But you won't be here... Where I need you." I whispered the last part. He just looked at me, before pulling me into his arms. "Don't go."

"I have to, Baby." I shook my head, before burring my face into his chest. "I promise you that you'll be ok."

I pulled away. "Dont' promise something that you know isn't true."

"Stef-"

"Deen! We need to get going!" Dad called.

I backed away, wrapping my arms around myself. "You better get going."

"Stef."

"Bye, Deen." I ran back up stairs, knowing I was about to let it all go.

No one really understood how much of a support system Deen was for me. No matter what has happened, I've always been able to go to him for anything. Even after I had lost my Virginity, I talked to him instead of Mom or any of the others. Of course he didn't like the idea of it, but he knew I didn't really want to talk to any f the other about it.

A little while later, I went down stairs to get something to drink. I stopped on the stairs when I heard voice in the living room. Voices talking about me...

"I don't understand why she's taking this so heard." I heard Sarah say.

"She acts like he's going away and she'll never see him again. He's just moving out."

"Girls, you wouldn't understand. You guys are only children. Deen and Stef were lucky enough to have the amazing bond that they have. So it's hard for Stef to let him go when they're so close." Thank you, Aunt Michelle. I guess someone does understand.

"But don't you think she's being selfish? It's his life, not her's."

"Again, you wouldn't understand." Aunt Leana was starting to become snappy, and she never did. I think she protected me the most out of all the kids. They all really did because I was considered the 'baby' of the family, just because I was a few months behind everyone else. It was a bit annoying.

I decided to just go down and stop the conversation before it went any further. That was one of the things that bugged me the most. People talking about me. Everyone says to just ignore it, but I just can't.

"Hey, you." Aunt Val said when she saw me come into view.

I gave her a tight smile and went on to the kitchen. "You heard, didn't you?" Mom asked, following me into the kitchen.

"Am I that obvious?" I asked, filling a glass with some Snapple.

"No. I'm just your mom, so I know." She gave me a soft smile as she wrapped her arms around my shoulders. I lay my head on her shoulder and sighed. "We'll make it, Baby."