Don't Be So Hard on Yourself

”SLYTHERIN!”

I sat straight up gasping for air in my dark room. I groaned when I looked over to my alarm clock. The time read 9 am and I wasn’t due to be up for another half an hour. I ripped my covers from my body, moved so my feet touched my carpeted floor before getting up and going to the bathroom. I showered and slowly got ready to leave for school again. I looked at myself in the mirror as I left my hair in its naturally curly state.

“One more year, Acey,” I mumbled to myself trying to make this whole situation better. I’ve been going to Hogwarts for five years now, this year being my sixth (hopefully last), and as much as I love being there I don’t at the same time. I’m pretty sure I’m the only American attending Hogwarts, being exactly 11 when I was moved to England and got that letter. Then my parents finally told me they were wizards.

“Acey are you almost ready?” My mom knocked on my door, speaking in her British accent, I rolled my eyes before slipping on a pair of shoes and I opened the door with a forced smile.

“Of course, Ma, let me just get Elliot,” my mother laughed a little like she always did when I referred to my owl. She likes to tell me that Elliot is a silly name for an owl; I tell her she’s silly. I grabbed the owl cage, disturbing the dark colored owl and I apologized softly looking at his large green eyes.

Dad grabbed my trunk and my mom grabbed the car keys. Each second was closer to King’s Cross, closer to Hogwarts and closer to the Slytherin dormitory. I remember how happy my parents were when they found out I was sorted into the same house they were in. This is why we moved to England, so I can attend Hogwarts. They never told me out right why they went to America though, until my fourth year at Hogwarts. The ride wasn’t long and we just happened to bump into the Malfoy’s while walking towards the platform.

“Draco,” my father smiled at the young Malfoy as Draco shook my father’s hand. My mother smiled before hugging Narcissa Malfoy tightly. They were best friends. All of them were best friends.

“Acey,” Draco smirked as he greeted me; I rolled my eyes before sneering, “Draco.” Draco Malfoy and I do not get along in public, as much as our parents loved how we acted when it was just us. I was too kind-hearted for his Hogwarts self. When we’re alone, he’s different. He’s my friend again.

“Draco, why don’t you and Acey run along now? I need to talk to Acey’s parents,” Narcissa forced a small smile towards her son; I rolled my eyes before waving goodbye to my parents and walking off with my cart. Draco followed behind, mumbling to himself about something I don’t care about.

“Run along now? I’m not five,” I heard him say in an aggravated tone; I turned and eyed him with a smirk on my face.

“Ha, could have fooled me,” Draco’s jaw clenched as he stared at me. I looked back, standing in front of the entrance to platform 9 ¾. “Ladies first,” I smirked before walking through and entering the platform full of rushing people. I held a disgusted face before giving my belongings to the man who did the baggage and finding myself a quiet compartment.

“You don’t have to be so mean,” Draco’s angered voice entered the room and I saw him standing there with Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle behind him as usual.

“Why? Did I hurt poor Draco’s feelings?” I asked in a faux baby voice staring at him with a pout, Crabbe and Goyle began laughing until Draco looked at them with a glare.

“No, for your information, you didn’t. I just don’t get why you’re mean to me and not to anyone else,” Draco sat across from me with an amused smirk on his face; I raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything. I saw Draco’s face go from amused to annoyed, his eyes turned into a glare. “You’re not going to say anything to that? Well?”

“Well what, Draco?” I was bored with him, I looked at my nails and I could feel his anger building up.

“Are you going to be nice to me or what?” His voice was cool despite all of his anger, I looked up and saw his gray eyes staring at me with so much intensity I felt curious. Maybe if he was nice to me when we’re in front of people, I’d think about it.

“I say not, Draco, I’d rather be nice to Granger than to be nice to you.” Draco looked appalled like I stepped all over him with muddy shoes. Or even worse, I compared him to a Mudblood.

“Did you just say you’d rather be nice to that Mudblood? Are you mad?” I rolled my eyes grabbing some of my things before leaving the compartment. “Acey, where do you think you’re going?”

“Away from you Draco. Hey, Pansy he’s right in there,” I smiled deviously as Pansy Parkinson smiled brightly before bombarding Draco’s compartment. I walked down the train and found another one that held a few first years.

They looked at me wide eyed and scared, I rolled my eyes even though I remember being in their exact shoes when I was a first year. I put my belongings above my head and sat down; pulling out my notebook I stored in another bag and began drawing. The first years talked amongst themselves after realizing I was no threat to them.

“So my brother says that Harry Potter isn’t that amazing,” I looked over to see a boy who looked a lot like my good friend, Blaise Zabini.

“Are you the younger Zabini?” I asked watching the kid look over to me with a confused face. I watched him nod and I felt my smirk grow on my face. “Welcome to Slytherin, my young friend,” the young boy looked confused but when his eyes lit up I knew he realized something.

“You’re Acey Blake, Blaise told me about you. He wouldn’t shut up after he met you,” I smiled softly looking at the small boy talking about his brother. “I hope I get in Slytherin then, I mean you’re American I want to know what Americans are like.” I laughed a fake and airy laugh trying to humor the poor first year. I’m not amazing just because I’m American.

“She’s American, cool,” a girl told with her eyes wide and I slightly regret opening my mouth. I held up a finger to them before standing up, grabbing my bags and leaving the first years for another compartment. I couldn’t find one but I heard someone laugh behind me. I closed my eyes and clenched my jaw as soon as I recognized the laugh. I didn’t have to turn around when Draco began talking, standing right behind me.

“Why don’t you just come back to my compartment? I kicked Pansy out,” his smooth voice entered my ear which caused a small chill to run through my body. But I kept my composure normal and turned around so I was dangerously close to Draco. I opened my mouth to say something until I heard someone yelling from behind Draco.

“Draco!” I watched Draco closed his eyes; he leant forward and rested his forehead against mine.

“Play along,” he muttered under his breath and when I looked Pansy was on my right staring at me with dangerous eyes. “Pansy, can’t you see I’m busy?” Draco’s voice held boredom, a person could tell he is bored of Pansy’s incessant trying to get his attention. I was sick of her two minutes after meeting her pug-like face.

“What? Snogging the American? Seriously Draco I thought you had more taste than that,” she spat viciously and instead of getting in her face, I smiled before grabbing Draco’s face and pressed my lips against his. I felt Draco tense up but I knew what I was doing. I wrapped my arms around his neck, my right hand moving up to get tangled in his very blond hair and he placed his hands on my hips. I could hear Pansy scoffing from my side. I opened my right eye a bit to see that she walked away and I smiled before letting Draco go. He stared at me wide-eyed and astonished and I just smile.

“Go get ready, I expect to be at Hogwarts soon,” I told him cheerily before walking away to gather my things.

--

I managed to avoid Draco until after the sorting, some how Draco found me sitting next to Blaise Zabini. “Zabini do you think you could leave us alone until the end of the feast?” Draco asked and Blaise shrugged.

“Whatever. I’ll see you in the common room, Ace,” I smiled half-heartedly to Blaise before turning to Draco with a scowl on my face.

“What do you want? And where were you?” I whispered and Draco rolled his eyes before leaning closer.

“It’s none of your business, Blake,” Draco spat before leaning away, taking my fork and stealing some of my chicken. I rolled my eyes moving my plate so it was in front of him. “And if you must know where I was, I was busy giving Potter that,” I looked up to where Draco pointed to and Harry Potter walked down towards his silly friends Ron Weasley and Hermoine Granger. I saw he was holding a cloth to his nose full of blood. I looked over to Draco astonished.

“What? Why?” Although I wasn’t much of a fan for Harry, he was way too nice to people who basically weren’t Draco. Draco stiffened from next to me and I watched his left arm tense.

“He’s the reason why my father is in Azkaban, isn’t that correct Blake? That and he was spying on me while I was talking to Zabini and Parkinson about, well, that I won’t be coming here after this year,” the last part of his explanation was hushed so only I could hear. I sighed while nodding. Although I don’t know why but his parents and my parents have been telling us this might just be our last year.

“Draco, I need to ask a favor from you,” I told him quietly looking over to see his face near mine and his gray eyes staring into my brown ones. “Don’t mess up.” As much as I couldn’t stand Draco in school, he was still one of the few people who knew the most about me. Draco stared at me before nodding.

“I won’t,” he breathed before muttering something I could barely hear. “I have a question for you,” he looked up at me with a small smirk playing on his pale lips. I raised an eyebrow smiling only a little. “What was that on the train?”

“You told me to play along right? Pansy said something about snogging,” I rolled my eyes at the English slang before smirking towards Draco. He stared at me with a mimicking smirk before snaking an arm around my waist and pulling me closer to him.

“Want to keep her away from me out of pure enjoyment in seeing her pissed off?”

I looked over to Draco then over towards Pansy who was staring at me with one hell of an evil stare. I couldn’t help but smile and look up at Draco. “Yeah, why not?” I reached a hand up to his cheek and kissed him on the lips. I heard someone screech and I looked to see one of Pansy’s friends standing up with pumpkin juice all down her robes. Draco and I looked at each other before laughing at Pansy looking horrified for her friend.

“Let’s go,” Draco whispered into my ear before getting up and dragging me with him. He held my hand, our fingers laced, as we past Pansy. “I want to keep this up, I cannot stand her. I can’t believe I let her,” he paused to take an audible gulp, “touch my hair,” he resumed.

“Sucks for you, Malfoy,” I smiled brightly up at him which only made him sarcastically laugh and say, “ha, you’re hilarious, Blake.” Draco and I walked together down to the dungeons where the Slytherin dormitories were held. We walked up to the wall, Draco said the password out loud and together we walked towards the common room.

“So best friend, since we’re alone are we actually going to act like best friends?” I asked before sitting on the couch, I put my feet up on the table near it and Draco sat next to me.

“Maybe, if you tell me that you will tell Snape to let you have Potions with me tomorrow,” Draco looked at me with an anxious face; I rolled my eyes before smiling.

“I probably will, Draco, we both got O’s in our O.W.L.S didn’t we?” I smiled to him remembering when I had sent him a letter by owl telling him how I did on my O.W.L. exams. I could tell Draco remembered also.

“You were so excited to get O’s in everything but Care for Magical Creatures.” Draco pointed out while looking at the ring in his hand.

“Yeah well, it was a stupid class,” I told bitterly. I didn’t mind the class I just hated that I got an E for that O.W.L. “So how about I see you tomorrow and I go to bed? Alright? Goodnight, Draco,” I told him while standing up and stretching. Draco stood up too, his gray eyes staring at me with a small smile on his lips.

“You’re really going to bed?” His smile grew wider when I nodded, I couldn’t help but smile back.

“So where has that smile been? I’ve missed it,” I made a small pouty face when I said that I missed his smile, because I did to be truthful. Draco rarely smiles anymore.

“Take a picture of it… I don’t think it would last that long,” Draco sat back down, I looked at him when I noticed the hurt in his voice and suddenly all the other Slytherins walked into the common room. Zabini spotted me, smiled before walking over.

“So as I was telling you, Pansy told me that you and Draco were snogging on the train but at dinner I guess it just proved you two are dating,” I stared incredulously towards my friend. I opened my mouth to correct him but Draco stood up.

“Yeah, I want everyone in the room to know that Acey Blake and I, Draco Malfoy, are dating,” Draco looked down at me with a small smirk playing on his lips. I forced a sweet smile before leaning up to whisper in his ear.

“Are you stupid?” Draco laughed while rolling his eyes, I took that as him saying no and I kissed his cheek. Play along, Acey, play along.