It's Not You. It's Me. And No! He is Not My Boyfriend!

My eyes snapped open to find myself in a room that wasn’t mine own. I sighed with a smile, feeling the well muscled arms wrapped around me. However, that peaceful feeling quickly faded as I recognized the bedspread, and it wasn’t Mac’s.

“OH MY GOD!” I snapped up, getting slightly dizzy in my hung over state.

“WHAT?” Carter snapped up next to me, looking around dazed.

“OH. MY. GOD!” I crawled over to the corner of the bed, my voice shaky. “What did we do?” I tried to recall the night before, but could only remember certain points. None of those points involved me ending up in bed with Carter.

“QUIET!” Carter whispered harshly, clasping a hand over my mouth to stop my instant protests. “My parents don’t know you here.”

“Oh my god!” I groaned, placing hand on my forehead. “I’m in your bed and your parents don’t know?”

“Well, I wasn’t about to ask their permission at three in the morning.”

“What did we do?” I squeaked, thinking I committed the ultimate relationship abomination.

Carter stared at me confused before his eyes widened with realization, “NOTHING!” he waved his arms in front of his chest for emphasis.

I turned my head away, trying to ignore the fact that he was shirtless.

“Why am I here?” I got up and began to gather my things.

“You got sick. I was taking care of you.”

“How drunk were you?”

“Not very.”

“What time is it? How much did I drink last night?” I muttered an endless barrage of questions that Carter didn’t answer. “Can you get dressed and drive me to Carmen’s?” when he didn’t answer I looked towards him. His eyes were glued to my movements.

“Did you he-”

“I want you to break up with Mac.”

“Not on your life!” I stopped my pacing to stare at him intently. “He’s an amazing boyfriend, and I like him a lot!”

“But you can’t deny that you don’t have feelings for me,” he matched my stare.

“I won’t, but you can’t just get over someone over night. I’m sure you know that,” I ignored the bile that rose in my throat as I remembered him kissing Caroline.

“Yeah, but we both still like each other. Clearly that means we should be together.”

“I’m sorry, but I’m with Mac.”

Carter shrugged, raising one eyebrow slightly, “You already cheated on him.”

“WHAT?” I dropped everything I had gathered into my hands. “WITH WHO?”

“You don’t remember?” the corners of his lips tugged into a smile.

“Of course not! I wouldn’t ask if I did. With who?”

“Me,” Carter smiled smugly, now showing his teeth.

“What?” I whispered, tears flowing freely.

“We made out.”

“YOU. ASSHOLE!” I pointed a finger within inches of his infuriatingly smug face.

“How am I getting blamed for this?” he placed a hand upon his chest, his face dropping in offense. “It takes two you know.”

“You said you weren’t that drunk, and I obviously was. Why would you let that happen? You took advantage of me!” I regathered my stuff quickly. “I’m leaving!”

“ELLIS!” he jumped up, and blocked my only exit. “You can’t leave!”

“Get out of my way Carter,” I squared my shoulders, ready to resort to violence to get my way.

“No, I mean that you can’t leave until my parents do,” he looked towards his clock. “They’ll be leaving in a half hour and then I’ll bring you to Carmen’s.”

“Oh my god!” I dug through my purse like a maniac, trying to locate my cell. “She must be worried sick.”


Carter grabbed my hands, and led me over to his bed.

“I texted her to let her know. It’s fine,” he stared at me, “Ellis,” he began.

“I do not want to talk to you!” I held up a finger to stop him from speaking. “I can’t believe this!” I laid back on the bed, nauseous. “Ugh! I think I’m going to be sick.”

“I can’t believe you,” I shook my head.

“Hey! I said I wasn’t that drunk, but I was still drunk. Drunk enough to be overcome by jealousy.”

“That’s why you did it?” I sat up again, narrowing my eyes at him. “Who were you jealous of? Mac wasn’t there.”

“You were flirting with some guy, and it got the better of me! I mean,” he took his eyes from my face to stare at his hands. “I can barely resist the urge to kiss you when I’m sober.”

I scoffed, the image of him and Caroline sucking face at the dance popping into my head for the second time.

“Hey!” he furrowed his brow and stared back up at me pain stricken. “You don’t believe me?”

“Why were you kissing Caroline then?”

Carter took a moment to realize what I was talking about before chuckling.

“She kissed me, and she’s freakin’ hot!” his eyes widened as he said this. “I wasn’t going to stop her.”

“Sure,” I brushed him off. “That’s why you’re complete mush around her.”
 Carter laughed even harder.

“I was just doing that to make you jealous...did it work?”

“NO!” I turned away from him blushing furiously. “I’m really happy with Mac.”

“I know,” Carter voice filled with sadness, causing me to look back at him. “And, it kills me. Every time I see you two together I feeling like my heart is being ripped out of my chest.”

“CARTER!” his mother called before I could even begin to think of a response. “We’re leaving!”

“‘Kay mom!” he called back, his eyes never leaving me face.

I wanted to respond with something. Something that my mind couldn’t even comprehend, but the words just got stuck in my throat.

“I can’t do that to Mac,” I whispered. “I don’t want to hurt him.”

“You already did.”

“He doesn’t need to know.”


“So you’re going to lie to him instead? It will happen again.”

“Thanks for your faith in me,” I gave him the stink eye.

“We can’t stay away from each other.

I gave him an incredulous look.

“I can’t stay away from you,” he clarified.

“You’ll manage.”

“Ellis, we’ve liked each other for so long. We’re supposed to be together.”

I stared down at my hands, trying to make sense of the situation. Wasn’t this what a really wanted? I liked Mac. I liked Mac a lot, but I definitely didn’t feel for him what I felt for Carter.

“I need to go to Carmen’s,” I said finally. She would make sense of the situation for me.