The Only Exception
My Mother would never wed again
He still hadn't seen me and people were starting to stare at me. Maybe this was a stupid idea, maybe it wasn't supposed to happen. Sighing, I held a hand on my brow to shield my eyes from the light reflecting off the snow.
Maxine was out visiting with old friends, and I was alone in the house. My dad had work, and Ames was at my mother's house. Just me. With nothing to do. Wandering back to my room and singing a song stuck in my head I decided to clean a little. Lord knows I'm a pack rat. The first few boxed in the top of my closet were Ames's old baby clothes and all of his photo albums I started but never quite had the time to finish. The next few items were old school binders, which I decided to throw out. But the last row of things stopped me dead in my tracks: my old camera and a box of photographs. I could have sworn I had gotten rid of these, I must have pulled it out of the trash. Opening it with shaky hands I the first picture on top wasn't so bad. I sat down on my bed and started sifting through.
Much to my dismay I just had to see him again, I knew I had tons of pictures of him in here. Carefully plucking through, his smile beamed in black and white. I went through a few more of just him, and then I remembered…Standing again, I went to my dresser, I took down the picture of my mom and dad in the corner of the mirror. Behind it was a picture someone had taken of Shaun and I. It made me smile to see him, it took me out of the misery I was in for a second. It used to do that until I had gotten pregnant. Then as everyday passed the effect started to wear off, and by the time Ames was born the picture began to hold a much different feeling. There were so many reasons why I didn't tell him. Chuckling to myself I looked down at the picture of my parents I was still holding.
I recalled the exact day I put it up. Ames was with my mother and I decided to search my father's house. I found a picture of my mother and father when they were still together, in fact it was on their wedding day. It was bigger than the photo of Shaun and I, so that meant I could simply put it over the picture. I just didn't want to touch it, as silly as that sounds. Staring at the new picture every sleepless night reminded me that people can be happy even after a heartbreak. My father managed to take care of my sister and I. And my mother went as far as to say she didn't need anybody else to make her happy, she made a pact with herself never to get married again.
Quickly replacing the photo in the corner of my mirror I pulled out my cell phone. Then pacing a few times I plopped down onto my bed out of breath. My heart pounded as it rang.
"Hello?" His voice was suspicious, I probably should have called using my home phone.
"Hey, it's Lydia."
"Oh, hey!"
"I-I was wondering if I could see you again?" I knew I was going to regret this and that something was going to go wrong.
"Yeah! Of course, how about tonight?" Shaun suggested and I was dumbfounded. That soon? My hand got stuck as I tried to run it through my hair. Freezing where I was I didn't move anymore, knowing I'd probably hurt myself if I did.
"Well, um, I have to tell you something. Maybe even show you?" The pitch of my voice rose as I tried to picture in my head his reaction.
"Cool, I have tons to tell you too." Holding in the chuckle I figured his wouldn't be as ironic as mine. "How about we meet at 9:00?"
"I think we should meet a little earlier than that…"
"Ok, I have a few meetings though. I think the earliest I can be done is around 7:00. That good?"
"Yeah, that's fine." I bit my lip, how did I get here? What the hell was I doing?
"At my house?"
"Auh no! At mine."
"Oh. Alright." I could literally hear his smile fall and rise, somehow it made me want to giggle a little.
"I'll see you then?"
"Definitely, bye Dia."
"Bye." Finally untangling my hand from my hair I folded my arms across my chest.
Slowly getting up I began tidying up the house. My nerves only grew when Ames arrived home. It must have been apparent, seeing as how my mother oh-so-tactfully commented on it.
"You look like crap."
"Thanks," I grimaced and then bent down to Ames's level, "Did you have fun with Grandma today?"
"Yeah! We went-to-the-zoo-and-then to ice cream-and-then-I saw this car orange… I mean orange car--"
"Whoa! It sounds like a big day mister! But have you had a nap?" I asked, hearing how he was slurring his words and mixing them up. Ames paused and glanced at the floor.
"Yes…"
"Are you sure?"
"Uh-huh."
"Really? There's someone coming over tonight that I want you to meet and I don't want you to be cranky."
"Who is it?" He looked back up at me.
"It's a surprise, but if you don't have a nap they won't be coming over."
Behind me my mom cleared her throat, I can see where Maxine gets it from… Ames's jaw dropped in a pout and he began taking off his shoes.
"Ok." He walked towards his room, his feet dragging. I'm surprised he hasn't ever tripped doing that, then again… he might have gotten his balance from his father…
"Who is this mystery person may I ask?"
"It's Shaun," My mom rolled her eyes. "Look, I think it's time he knew."
"I thought you had all these reason why it'd be a bad idea for him to know about Ames."
"I do Mother. I just think that he'll understand that being the nice guy doesn't mean he has to stay with us."
"I hope you really aren't doing this for selfish reasons." She warned and began to walk out the door. "Bye Ames Cameron!" She shouted.
"Bye Gramma…" A faint and tired voice called back.
"Wait, what do you mean? I'm not going to take his money or anything."
"I know. I think you secretly want to see him again. I can't blame you, he seemed like he turned out to be a tall glass of water to me."
"Mom!"
She walked out the door, her perfume following. Groaning to myself I picked up Ames's shoes and walked to his room. Silently I put them in his closet, then straightened the covers over Ames. Was she right? No, I knew better, I knew not to want him anymore. Shaun was old enough and established enough to know about his son now. He'd understand he didn't need to stay, that Ames and I were doing well.
Maxine was out visiting with old friends, and I was alone in the house. My dad had work, and Ames was at my mother's house. Just me. With nothing to do. Wandering back to my room and singing a song stuck in my head I decided to clean a little. Lord knows I'm a pack rat. The first few boxed in the top of my closet were Ames's old baby clothes and all of his photo albums I started but never quite had the time to finish. The next few items were old school binders, which I decided to throw out. But the last row of things stopped me dead in my tracks: my old camera and a box of photographs. I could have sworn I had gotten rid of these, I must have pulled it out of the trash. Opening it with shaky hands I the first picture on top wasn't so bad. I sat down on my bed and started sifting through.
Much to my dismay I just had to see him again, I knew I had tons of pictures of him in here. Carefully plucking through, his smile beamed in black and white. I went through a few more of just him, and then I remembered…Standing again, I went to my dresser, I took down the picture of my mom and dad in the corner of the mirror. Behind it was a picture someone had taken of Shaun and I. It made me smile to see him, it took me out of the misery I was in for a second. It used to do that until I had gotten pregnant. Then as everyday passed the effect started to wear off, and by the time Ames was born the picture began to hold a much different feeling. There were so many reasons why I didn't tell him. Chuckling to myself I looked down at the picture of my parents I was still holding.
I recalled the exact day I put it up. Ames was with my mother and I decided to search my father's house. I found a picture of my mother and father when they were still together, in fact it was on their wedding day. It was bigger than the photo of Shaun and I, so that meant I could simply put it over the picture. I just didn't want to touch it, as silly as that sounds. Staring at the new picture every sleepless night reminded me that people can be happy even after a heartbreak. My father managed to take care of my sister and I. And my mother went as far as to say she didn't need anybody else to make her happy, she made a pact with herself never to get married again.
Quickly replacing the photo in the corner of my mirror I pulled out my cell phone. Then pacing a few times I plopped down onto my bed out of breath. My heart pounded as it rang.
"Hello?" His voice was suspicious, I probably should have called using my home phone.
"Hey, it's Lydia."
"Oh, hey!"
"I-I was wondering if I could see you again?" I knew I was going to regret this and that something was going to go wrong.
"Yeah! Of course, how about tonight?" Shaun suggested and I was dumbfounded. That soon? My hand got stuck as I tried to run it through my hair. Freezing where I was I didn't move anymore, knowing I'd probably hurt myself if I did.
"Well, um, I have to tell you something. Maybe even show you?" The pitch of my voice rose as I tried to picture in my head his reaction.
"Cool, I have tons to tell you too." Holding in the chuckle I figured his wouldn't be as ironic as mine. "How about we meet at 9:00?"
"I think we should meet a little earlier than that…"
"Ok, I have a few meetings though. I think the earliest I can be done is around 7:00. That good?"
"Yeah, that's fine." I bit my lip, how did I get here? What the hell was I doing?
"At my house?"
"Auh no! At mine."
"Oh. Alright." I could literally hear his smile fall and rise, somehow it made me want to giggle a little.
"I'll see you then?"
"Definitely, bye Dia."
"Bye." Finally untangling my hand from my hair I folded my arms across my chest.
Slowly getting up I began tidying up the house. My nerves only grew when Ames arrived home. It must have been apparent, seeing as how my mother oh-so-tactfully commented on it.
"You look like crap."
"Thanks," I grimaced and then bent down to Ames's level, "Did you have fun with Grandma today?"
"Yeah! We went-to-the-zoo-and-then to ice cream-and-then-I saw this car orange… I mean orange car--"
"Whoa! It sounds like a big day mister! But have you had a nap?" I asked, hearing how he was slurring his words and mixing them up. Ames paused and glanced at the floor.
"Yes…"
"Are you sure?"
"Uh-huh."
"Really? There's someone coming over tonight that I want you to meet and I don't want you to be cranky."
"Who is it?" He looked back up at me.
"It's a surprise, but if you don't have a nap they won't be coming over."
Behind me my mom cleared her throat, I can see where Maxine gets it from… Ames's jaw dropped in a pout and he began taking off his shoes.
"Ok." He walked towards his room, his feet dragging. I'm surprised he hasn't ever tripped doing that, then again… he might have gotten his balance from his father…
"Who is this mystery person may I ask?"
"It's Shaun," My mom rolled her eyes. "Look, I think it's time he knew."
"I thought you had all these reason why it'd be a bad idea for him to know about Ames."
"I do Mother. I just think that he'll understand that being the nice guy doesn't mean he has to stay with us."
"I hope you really aren't doing this for selfish reasons." She warned and began to walk out the door. "Bye Ames Cameron!" She shouted.
"Bye Gramma…" A faint and tired voice called back.
"Wait, what do you mean? I'm not going to take his money or anything."
"I know. I think you secretly want to see him again. I can't blame you, he seemed like he turned out to be a tall glass of water to me."
"Mom!"
She walked out the door, her perfume following. Groaning to myself I picked up Ames's shoes and walked to his room. Silently I put them in his closet, then straightened the covers over Ames. Was she right? No, I knew better, I knew not to want him anymore. Shaun was old enough and established enough to know about his son now. He'd understand he didn't need to stay, that Ames and I were doing well.