The Day That You Fall I'll Be Right Behind You

I’ve haven’t been doing anything for the past three daysother than cry. Josh and Kylee never came back, Todd’s tried to call Kylee but she never answered. I’ve had my phone in my hands ready to call Josh but…I never got the guts to actually do it.

Whenever I wake up in the morning I’m always squinting for a few hours because my eyes are so red and puffy. Every time I think of Josh the tears come and I hate it! I’ve always been a little more emotional than say, Kylee is, but I’ve been even worse these past three days.

the man I love thinks that I kissed someone else I still don’t understand why he could even think I would do that to him, I love him. But I’m not sure how he feels about me anymore.

Todd hasn’t been a whole lot better, I can hear him crying at night sometimes, and during the day he’s just all mopey and quiet. Our kids took notice too. Blake wanted his daddy and Ty wanted his mommy. Blake just lays in my lap most of the time and Tyson asks a million questions to which Todd always answers “I don’t know Ty, but I sure wish I did.”

One afternoon while the kids were taking a nap I curled on the couch and sobbed like I did every day now. Todd slung his arm around me in a brotherly way and tried to calm my tears.

“We need to clear this up,” Todd started. “Let’s face it, Josh and Kylee aren’t going to come back here, so I think we should go try to explain this to them.”

“…okay Todd. I’ll call one of my brothers and see if they can watch the kids,” I replied softly.

A few hours later, my middle brother Cody arrived. I got up, with Blake on my hip and Cody smiled as he wrapped his arms around the both of us.

“Cody!” Blake giggled as Cody kissed his head.

“Hey buddy!” he smiled while he took him from me.

“Now where’s Ty?” Cody grinned.

Tyson came slowly walking over but Ty clung to Todd’s leg.

“Tyson, this is Kirsties brother Cody. He’s gonna come play with you and Blake while Kirstie and daddy are gone,” Todd told Tyson while picking him up.

“Why are you leaving?” Ty poutedjust like Ky

“Because we’re gonna go talk to mommy and Josh,” Todd told him as his face lit up.

We said our goodbyes, I had to say goodbye to Blake like three times but…as we were about to walk out the door Cody called me back really fast.

“Remember what Shaun told you. You can’t look behind you or you might trip over what’s in front of you,” he reminded me as my eyes started to sting.

“I love you Cody,” I cried as I gave him a hug.

“I love you too. Now go fix this with Josh,” He told me. Cody always was my encourager. He made everything seem so easy…but it wasn’t going to be this time.

We drove to Joshand my house but they weren’t there so we drove to the other place they might be,our Josh’s beach house. By now it was getting dark and the lights were off in the house so we walked around the back.

The sight we saw was the last thing I ever wanted to see. Josh and Kylee kissing. That was the most devastating and heart breaking sight I have ever seen. I was in shock at the sight but Toddof course spoke up.

“So you accuse me of kissing Kirstie and you’re off making out with Josh?” Todd yelled at the two as they parted.

“I swear it wasn’t anything… it’s just those whole…” Josh stumbled on his words as he took a quick glance at me.

“You kissed my wife, Josh! Right in front of me,” Todd growled as he got in Josh’s face.

“You kissed my wife, Todd. Right in front of me,” Josh spat back. HOW MANY TIMES DO WE HAVE TO TELL YOU, WE DIDN’T KISS!

“We didn’t kiss! We were having a staring contest and I was teasing her that she wanted to kiss me! Do you really think I would do that to Kylee?” Todd argued for me.

“Do you really thing I would that to you?” Todd went on to ask as he looked at a nervous Kylee.

They went on to argue more but as my eyes slowly came up to meet Josh’s tears flowed out of my eyes harder than they ever had in my entire life. I stood there trembling from my tears as the image of my best friend and my husband kissing replayed in my mind.

“You would know if you were home,” was the last thing Todd threw at them before he came over and put an arm around me as he led me away.

I bawled the entire way home. I was crying so hard I was afraid I would throw up…but I didn’t luckily. I told Todd to drop me off at my house and he did as I asked.

“Where are you going?” he asked as I got out of his truck and into mine that was parked in the driveway.

“I need to go talk to someone,” I replied as I started my truck and drove to a place I wish didn’t exist.

My truck rumbled to a stop as I saw all of the white crosses in the grass. I was at the Marine cemetery…where my twin brother was buried. Like I said, I wish this place wasn’t one I had to be familiar with.

I roamed around, tears freely flowing from my eyes until I saw inscribed on a white cross Shaun Jeremy Miller. I fell to my knees and put my head in my hands while I sobbed.

“Shaun, I need you so bad right now,” I cried. “More than I have ever needed you before.”

As I sat next to my brothers grave and cried I realized the people you love the most are the people that also hurt you the most, and Josh just hurt me the most of anyone.