The Day That You Fall I'll Be Right Behind You

“Blake, I need to go wash some dishes so I’m going to leave Logan out here in the family room with you,” I told my son as I put down an eighth month old Logan on a spread out blanket on the floor with some toys.

“Okay mommy,” Blake said directing his attention away from his puzzle.

“If you need anything come get me,” I smiled while kissing both their heads and walking into the kitchen.

It couldn’t have been more than ten minutes when I heard Blake frantically calling for me and Logan crying. I ran into the room and saw Logan laying on the ground bawling while Blake nervously stood next to him. I rushed over and picked up Logan and held him close to my chest while gently bouncing him up and down.

“I’m sorry mommy. I tripped and fell on him,” Blake bawled while clinging to my leg.

“Blakey,” I cooed while removing one of my hands form around Logan to rub Blake’s head. “It’s okay it was just an accident and-“

But I was cut off by Logan crying louder since I wasn’t bouncing him anymore. So I told Blake to hold on a minute while I tried to get Logan’s little tears to cease while Blake still clung to my leg.

Josh walked through the door at that exact moment too. He had a meeting with JGR today since it was the middle of the supercross season but I was glad he was home, I really needed his help right now.

I saw him stop and look at me holding a crying Logan in my arms while a crying Blake was clinging to my leg with little tears coming down on his cheeks. Probably not the first thing you would want to see when you come home.

“Rough day?” He asked while coming over to me and took Logan from my arms.

“Naw but I could use a little help right now though,” I said with a small smile seeing him kiss Logans cheek. He then leaned over and kissed my cheek and Blake’s head.

I dropped down to my knees so I could be eye level with Blake who’s crying had now died down to sniffling. I placed my hands gently on his shoulders and gave him a little smile.

“Blake, it’s okay. I know it was just an accident,” I told him while stroking his hair.

“But you always told me to be real careful around babies and then I fell on him,” Blake wailed.

“Buddy it’s okay. Logan is fine, babies just cry when something like that happens because they don’t really know what’s going on,” I tried to explain as Blake nodded his head.

I gently wiped away the remnant of tears off of his little cheeks with my thumb as I kissed his forehead and softly whispered an I love you Blake to him.

“I love you too mommy,” He replied while giving me one of his warm hugs. Blake’s hugs are just like Josh’s, so warm and comfy.

I then stood up and went over to Josh who was holding Logan who’s tears had now stopped. I smiled as I kissed his cheek as well as Josh’s.

“Thanks Joshie. How was your day?” I asked him.

“Well it was….” He started with a strange look in his eye. One I had never quite seen beforeand that scares me. “It was fine,” he finished with a sigh.

I didn’t really believe him but I decided not to push it right now. I did try to get it out of him later that night before we went to bed but he wouldn’t tell me. He seemed upset by whatever it was but he didn’t want to talk to me about it.

For the next three days he still kept it from me. Whenever I asked him he would just mumble out a Nothing… but I knew it wasn’t nothing. Josh wasn’t acting like himself at all. He seemed to always be deep in thought and apprehensive and he didn’t want to talk much about anything. He was pretty quiet and easily frustrated which wasn’t like Josh.

One night I tucked Blake into bed and laid Logan down in his crib before walking back downstairs to try to figure out what was wrong with Josh. I strolled into the garage where he was furiously scrubbing his boots.

“Josh?” I started while sitting down next to him.

”What?” He shot at me.

“Baby, please tell me what’s wrong,” I softly said while gently rubbing his back. “Is it because you haven’t been doing too well this supercross season? Or did something go wrong at the JGR meeting?”

He bit his lower lip but then went back to roughly scrubbing his boots keeping his focus off of me and what I was asking of him. I gently placed one of my hands on top of his that were still scrubbing.

“Josh can you please talk to me,” I tenderly questioned.

He let out a sigh before putting his boots on the ground and then running a hand through his hair.

“JGR is pretty much making us move to North Carolina….”

………Wait…….WHAT?