The Day That You Fall I'll Be Right Behind You

Kirstie’s been gone a whole two days now… and it sucks. There’s no one in the studio when I go in now. I can’t go for a drive and see my best friend… and Ty’s been whining that he can’t play with Blake. That one’s hard.

I hate seeing any of my babies upset. I would do anything I could to make them happy, but… mommy doesn’t have control over this issue.

… and then there’s Todd. I’ve refused to talk to him until he calls Kirstie and apologizes. He hasn’t budged yet. So, Kylee hasn’t talked. Do you know how hard it is for him to keep quiet? So, you can only imagine how he’s been with no one, but our three kids to talk to.I kind of think it’s funny. But it’s so hard not to kiss him, hug him, or cuddle with him at night… But I’ve done it!

I was sitting in the living room, feeding Addie while Lily took a nap and Tyson was off doing his little toddler thing with his toys. Todd was upstairs or in the garage. I don’t know. I haven’t been paying too much attention to where he’s been. He hurt my best friend!

“Mommy, Lily looks like she’s going to cry,” Tyson stated while glancing over the walls of her play pin to look at her.

As if on cue, her cries started filling the room. I called Ty over and sat him on the couch. I gently put Addie in his arms so that he could hold her and feed her while I tended to Lily.

“Aw, what’s wrong with mommy’s girl?” I cooed while bending down to pick her up.

Once she was held against my chest, she seemed to be just fine. I reached back down for her pacifier and gently held it against her lips. After she took it, I left a soft kiss on her head and started to bounce her softly as her started to shut once again.

Just when a silence came back over the room, Addie starts fussing.What did Tyson do to her? I looked over at the two to see Ty trying to rock his baby sister back and fourth. He’s so cute and gentle with the girls for a three year old.

“Mommy, I don’t know what to do,” he said a little loudly, getting frustrated, as Addison’s cries grew louder.

For the first time, neither did I. I usually have Todd here helping me, but he’s off… somewhere. So, I put Lily back down in her play pin and went over to the other crying baby. But Lily started fussing again. Just prefect!

I went back and forth with the fussing babies for ten minutes, but it felt like hours. Finally, Todd came inside from the garage and rushed over to a bawling Lily. The second Todd held her in his arms, she shut up.

I tried not to look at him from how cute he was being with his daughter. But it was so hard. My smile came over me, but it quickly faded once his eyes caught sight of mine. A sigh came out of me as I eased my way onto the couch with Addie still in my arms.

Todd slowly made his way over and sat down next to me. He knows I think he’s so adorable with our children.Stupid butthead. We sat in silence for almost fifteen minutes. The only sound came from Tyson who was playing with his little motocross action figures.

“Ky, could you just please talk to me?” Todd snapped, trying to still be quiet since our baby girls were still sleeping.

I just looked down at Addie and left a soft kiss on the top of her head. I knew this ticked Todd off. He let out a heavy sigh and got up to put Lily in her play pin. Of course she didn’t fuss when Todd put her down.

Before he could say anything, I got up and took Addison upstairs to put her in her crib. I would have put her in the play pin, but… that involves me being close to Todd… and maybe even looking him in the eye.

After I put Addie down, I looked at her and couldn’t help but smile. I have such beautiful babies. My finger came up and pushed some of her dark hair off of her forehead. Her little mouth opened up in a yawn, but she didn’t wake. She’s so cute.

When I turned to walk out of the room, there stood Todd. He blocked the whole doorway so that I couldn’t get out. But that didn’t stop me from trying. I took a step to him so that if I looked up our noses would probably be touching… but I didn’t dare look up. I would get lost in those gorgeous brown orbs.

“Just talk to me. Say something… anything,” he almost pleaded.

“Apologize to Kirstie,” I replied.

“Ok… besides that,” he countered.

“Well, then I guess we have nothing to talk about,” I said, pushing past him to get out of the same room as him.

“Kylee,” he called after me as I was starting for the stairs. I ignored him though and continued my descent. “Kylee Rae Potter, talk to me,” he nearly shouted, making me turn around and shot a glare his way.

“You want me to talk to you? You really want me to talk to you?” I shot back, feeling my anger grow already.

“Yes,” he simply replied.

“Fine. I hate this, Todd. I hate being mad at you. I hate that Kirstie’s not here. I hate that you yelled at her when she was trying to explain her situation to me. And I hate that you have not came to see that you were the biggest jerk that day and will not admit it and apologize,” I yelled back at him from the bottom of the stairs while he was standing at the top.

He looked back at me, dumbfounded. His mouth was opened, trying to form words, but nothing came out. I shook my head, not believing how he was acting right now. I didn’t stand there to keep arguing though. It was bedtime.

I went over and grabbed Lily gently while taking Ty’s little hand to go up the stairs. Todd stood to the side as we passed. It took everything I had not to look at with the biggest glare I could muster.

After I put Lily down, I went out of her room to find my son standing there rubbing his little eyes. I smiled and lifted him up and started for his room. Once I tucked him in, he looked at me oddly.

“What’s wrong, Ty?” I asked while moving some of his dark hair off of his forehead.

“Are you and daddy fighting?” he asked with this hurt in his eyes that could have had the power to kill me.

“No, sweetie… Daddy just…” I trailed off, trying to find the right words. My eyes traveled to the doorway, where Todd was standing, gazing down at the floor. “He made Aunt Kirstie cry before she left and Mommy’s really mad at him for it, because he won’t apologize,” I said, trying to let my words hit Todd more than Ty.

“Is that why she left? Cause daddy was mean?” he questioned. Ha! Take that Todd!

“No, Ty. Uncle Josh’s race team is in North Carolina so they had to move to be with his team,” I explained.

He nodded his little head as his eyes suddenly got heavy. I smiled and bent down to kiss his forehead before walking out of the room, passing Todd without a glance.

Before Todd came back in to the room, I had my own pajamas on and was tucked into bed with all the lights out. A few minutes later, Todd came in. He slowly made his way over to his side of the bed. I heard him strip his layers off before climbing in next to me. His arms came around my waist and pulled me against him tightly. Before I could even try to get away, he left the softest, sweetest kiss on my neck.

“I didn’t mean to make her cry,” he started, almost whispering into my ear. “It was just that whole day… and then I didn’t want them to leave… and then she got all emotional and I hate it when she gets so emotional that she cries… and I’m… I’m just sorry for everything,” he went on.

As he talked, my hand came up and laced with one of his. Once he was finished talking, I rolled over. With the moonlight shining through the windows, I could see the sadness in his eyes… He was sorry.

“You need to tell her this,” I told him while cupping his scruffy cheek.

“I don’t want to though,” he softly mumbled while dropping his eyes from mine.

I sighed and relaxed into my pillow that I wish was Todd’s chest. His arms stayed around me for the remainder of the night though. But when I woke up… his arms weren’t there… and neither was he.