Fuel to the Fire.

“I don’t get this!”
I looked from my lap top over at Johns staring down at his psychology book with frustrations. I just laughed at home cute he looked before leaning over.
“This is the easiest theory”, I said looking at John with a laugh.
“I don’t remember this at all.”
“Freud’s Stages of Psychosexual Development, the whole different steps we go through in life.”
“Oh, all that weird shit. Oral and Anal?” he asked making me laugh.
“Yeah.
“What’s sensation?” he asked as I turned back to my lap top tying away at my study guide.
“Sensation is the process by which our senses gather information and send it to the brain.”
He looked at me like I was speaking another language. I just laughed before getting closer and trying to explain it better.
“A large amount of information is being sensed at any one time such as room temperature, brightness of the lights, someone talking, a distant train, or the smell of perfume. With all this information coming into our senses, the majority of our world never gets recognized. We don't notice radio waves, x-rays, or the microscopic parasites crawling on our skin. We don't sense all the odors around us or taste every individual spice in our gourmet dinner. We only sense those things we are able too since we don't have the sense of smell like a bloodhound or the sense of sight like a hawk; our thresholds are different from these animals and often even from each other.”
“Why are you so fucking smart?”
“I told you, I’m amazing.”
“You really are”, he said leaning in and giving me a kiss.
I couldn’t hide the smile as I pulled away from his lips. He grabbed my hand into his and laced our fingers, giving me butterflies. I looked over at him smiling and then he leaned in and gave me another kiss.
“You taste so good”, he said into my lips.
“Shut up.”
“So good”, he said leaning down on me.
I felt him take my lap top off of me, placing it on the ground and crawling on top of me, kissing all over my face. I pulled him closer, kissing his lips. He just laughed at how mad I was getting that he wouldn’t let me kiss him. Finally I rolled myself on top of him, pinning him down. I smiled down at him before pressing my lips against his, kissing him deep. I felt him kiss back rougher. I felt his tongue slide against mine as his hands wondered down my back and onto my hips pushing me into him. His hands started to wonder up my shirt as our kiss got more intense. He rolled me over on my side with a laugh.
“So good!”
I just laughed feeling him kiss my neck, sucking softly. I wrapped my leg around his waist, unconsciously rolling my hips into his. I felt him pull away, his hand on my chest staring at me.
“Stop.”
“What?”
“Stop the whole hips rolling, you’re getting me excited”, he said with all seriousness looking embarrassed.
“So?”
I leaned in and gave him another kiss, rubbing my hands up his chest and into his hair pulling lightly. I felt his hand going up my shirt, stopping just below my breast. I moved a little hoping his hand would move along with me, but he just moved them down. I wrapped my legs tighter against his, as my lips kissed from his lips down his jaw and kissing softly on his adams apple. Then back up his neck sucking softly. I heard him groan as I sucked a little harder and rolled my hips into his a little harder. But then all of a sudden I felt him push me off. I looked back at him confused as fuck.
“What?”
“I don’t want to go any further.”
“Um okay”, I said getting off of him and sitting back up.
I sat there silent looking around as John laid in the bed hands over his face. I looked back at hime really confused, this whole thing was confusing.
“Why don’t you want me?”
“I do want you.”
“Then whats the problem?”
“You’re too good for me.”
“Don’t give me that shit.”
“You are and I don’t want to ruin what we have with sex. Sex flogs everyone’s mind up, especially douche guys like me. I’m not good enough for you.”
“You don’t want to have sex with me because I’m too good for you? Doesn’t make much sense.”
“I’m not a good guy for you and I’m not looking for a relationship right now.”
“And who says I am?”
“I didn’t mean it like that. I, umm, I just think you deserve more than me. You might not want a relationship but that’s something you deserve. You deserve the best and I’m far from it.” He said stuttering over his words a bit. I just rolled my eyes at the complete bullshit he was feeding me. “Plus Kennedy really likes you and I feel bad.”
“I don’t like Kennedy like that.”
“Well he doesn’t know that, he asked me the other day what was going on with you and I felt beyond guilty, like the biggest asshole."
"I told you that Kenny and I talked about shit. We agreed on just friends, plus he's in like with some pretty girl."
"Who?"
"I don't know, some girl named Hope."
"Hope Cano?"
"I don't know John", i said getting annoyed by him.
"Well i don't want to ruin our friendship."
“Let’s just be friends then.”
“I really like you Dylan, you’re unlike any other girl and I don’t want to fuck up this. I want you in my life and I know if anything went down between us I’d fuck it up.”
“I get it John.”
“Are you mad?” he asked sitting up and looking over at me.
“Nah, it’s fine. I understand; from now on strictly friends.”
“Strictly friends?” he asked looking at me with sad eyes.
“Yeah John.”
“I guess I can deal with that.”
I just laughed and then looked back down at my book; I looked over at John who was staring at me and then back to my lips. I turned away from him and went back to studying it up. I felt hot breath on my neck, I turned around and then I felt lips crash into mine. I kissed back with just as much force before I pulled away. I licked my lips looking into John’s eyes and went back to my book. It took every ounce of power not to grab him and continue the kiss that both he and I wanted.