Status: Occasionally updated. Not too often.
I Can Use Some Guiding Light
To Lose Me Once Again
(January 12, 2010)
Back to the depressed me again. I fell asleep at like 3am, and I'm just waking up at 6am. Thanks for the fucking sleep, body. Damn. Might as well go get some coffee. I didn't need to change, since I fell asleep in my jeans and my shirt, one of the ones I made for Syn Gates Clothing. I just put on some random shoes that were beside my bed and started walking to the coffee shop.
There was cool breeze outside, making it somewhat calm. But, of course, I was far from calm. Thoughts were racing through my mind, like they always have been when I'm in this mood. Except for my better day, yesterday. Should've known better than to think it'd last for long.
I arrived at the coffee shop, where the barista, Allison, was just opening it up. I walked up to the door while she was putting her stuff down. I tapped on the glass of the door, and she jumped. When she noticed me, she welcomed me in. “So, you want the same as yesterday?”
“Yeah, that'll be cool,” I replied, still with that sad sound in my voice.
She got me my cup and then pulled a CD out of her bag. “Mind if I play some music?”
I shook my head no, and she put the disk into the CD player. The first song that played, I recognized as “Afterlife.” Wait, she's an Avenged Sevenfold fan? Does she recognize me?
She walked towards the table I sat at and inquired, “Mind if I take a seat?”
“It's fine. So, you're an Avenged Sevenfold fan?” I asked.
She nodded, “Well, I just kinda found out about them a few months ago. Not really a huge fan yet. But did you hear about their drummer? Oh my God, I think I stayed up almost all night in tears. It's horrible.”
I bit my lip, and stayed silent.
She just kinda looked at me. “What's wrong?”
I shook my head, “It's nothing...”
“That's what they all say. Seriously, you looked bad yesterday, and you look even worse today. What's wrong?” she questioned, nothing but complete concern in her tone. She actually sounded sincere.
“Look, you don't even know me. Why do you care?” I asked. I didn't mean to come off as mean, but it was really odd that she was actually concerned.
She sighed, “Look, I know I don't know you, but I know it feels better to talk about your problems with people...and you look really sad. Something horrible had to have happened.”
“I...I'm...I'm gonna go, okay?” I told her, not wanting to talk about my pain.
She nodded, “Okay. Can I at least have your name?”
“Brian,” I said, before leaving the coffee shop and Allison behind to go somewhere I could be alone. I don't think I've ever felt this bad before. But, something about Allison made me feel more comfortable and calm. Even though I didn't want to explain the pain I've gone through, I felt as if I could. I still felt like shit, though.
Time to go be alone with my own thoughts. Hopefully I can numb this misery again.
Back to the depressed me again. I fell asleep at like 3am, and I'm just waking up at 6am. Thanks for the fucking sleep, body. Damn. Might as well go get some coffee. I didn't need to change, since I fell asleep in my jeans and my shirt, one of the ones I made for Syn Gates Clothing. I just put on some random shoes that were beside my bed and started walking to the coffee shop.
There was cool breeze outside, making it somewhat calm. But, of course, I was far from calm. Thoughts were racing through my mind, like they always have been when I'm in this mood. Except for my better day, yesterday. Should've known better than to think it'd last for long.
I arrived at the coffee shop, where the barista, Allison, was just opening it up. I walked up to the door while she was putting her stuff down. I tapped on the glass of the door, and she jumped. When she noticed me, she welcomed me in. “So, you want the same as yesterday?”
“Yeah, that'll be cool,” I replied, still with that sad sound in my voice.
She got me my cup and then pulled a CD out of her bag. “Mind if I play some music?”
I shook my head no, and she put the disk into the CD player. The first song that played, I recognized as “Afterlife.” Wait, she's an Avenged Sevenfold fan? Does she recognize me?
She walked towards the table I sat at and inquired, “Mind if I take a seat?”
“It's fine. So, you're an Avenged Sevenfold fan?” I asked.
She nodded, “Well, I just kinda found out about them a few months ago. Not really a huge fan yet. But did you hear about their drummer? Oh my God, I think I stayed up almost all night in tears. It's horrible.”
I bit my lip, and stayed silent.
She just kinda looked at me. “What's wrong?”
I shook my head, “It's nothing...”
“That's what they all say. Seriously, you looked bad yesterday, and you look even worse today. What's wrong?” she questioned, nothing but complete concern in her tone. She actually sounded sincere.
“Look, you don't even know me. Why do you care?” I asked. I didn't mean to come off as mean, but it was really odd that she was actually concerned.
She sighed, “Look, I know I don't know you, but I know it feels better to talk about your problems with people...and you look really sad. Something horrible had to have happened.”
“I...I'm...I'm gonna go, okay?” I told her, not wanting to talk about my pain.
She nodded, “Okay. Can I at least have your name?”
“Brian,” I said, before leaving the coffee shop and Allison behind to go somewhere I could be alone. I don't think I've ever felt this bad before. But, something about Allison made me feel more comfortable and calm. Even though I didn't want to explain the pain I've gone through, I felt as if I could. I still felt like shit, though.
Time to go be alone with my own thoughts. Hopefully I can numb this misery again.