Smile for Me

I stepped out from my car and saw a few people staring at me. Ah, I don't wanna be bothered by the paparazzi or someone else. I just wanna have a 'normal' morning. So, I wore my hoodie and pulled the hood over my head.

I entered the Starbucks and ordered a Hot Chocolate with whipped cream. Once I'm done, I chose a booth near the back and slid into one side. I sipped my drink carefully and pulled out my phone.

2 New Messages I opened it, and it's from Peter & Nick. I read the text from Peter first.

From: Peter
Hello, sis! I'll be spend the whole summer with you!! Prepare to get some new music :p x

I smiled and quickly text him back.

To: Peter
Really?? Well, see you soon (: x

I sent it and opened the other one.

From: Nick
Where are you? Breakfast is ready.

I sighed and text him back. I don't know what I have to do when I meet him.

To: Nick
I'm on my way there.

I shoved my phone into my pocket and sipped my drink. Now its half gone and I looked at my watch. I really need to go now.

"Fiona, right?" Someone called my name as I stood up. I looked at the girl with hoodie and sunglasses.

"Um, yeah." I pulled my glasses off a little bit, still looking at the girl. This girl looks familiar to me.

"Oh, right." She took off her sunglasses, "It's Miley." she said.

"Oh, hey." I sighed. That's why she looked familiar.

"We need to talk." She sat in front of me with a cup on her hand.

"Okay." I sat down and placed my glasses back on. I have no idea why she needs to talk with me.

"I saw your car outside and I guess this is the right time to talk about it." She said then pulling off her sunglasses.

"Fi, I really am sorry for last night." She said, looking at me.

"For what?" I said in a low voice, looking back into her eyes.

She sighed, "I know you came to the studio last night." My eyes widened and I sipped my drink carefully. I have no idea how'd she know that I came last night. I wasn't screaming or something at the studio. I just cried and ran.

"I heard your voice. I really am sorry for all that happened. There's nothing between me and Nick." She said, a sad and sorry expression across her face. Oh wait. She heard my voice? But how?

"If there's nothing between you and him, then why he..." I trailed off. I really didn't know what I have to say. I'm confused and my heart broken. I wish I could fix it.

"Look, last night was an accident. We just talked about you and him. Trust me, he didn't mean to do it." He didn't mean it? What is that mean?

"If he didn't mean it, then why he did it?" I asked, looking down at my shoes.

"Fi, trust me. There's nothing between us. He doesn't have any feelings to me. He likes you."

"Oh, of course he likes me. I'm his best friend, right?" I rolled my eyes. My phone vibrated and I pulled out my phone.

"I mean, he likes you. He REALLY likes you."

Nick.

"Wait. I have to answer this." I said to Miley then answered my phone.

"Hello?"

"Fi!!! Where are you? Joe almost eat all the pancakes." He yelled over the phone.

"SHE REALLY NEEDS TO COME RIGHT NOW!" O-ow. Kevin yelled on the background.

"O-okay. I'm on my way. See ya." I hung up and shoved my phone into my pocket.

"I have to go." I said as I stood up.

"Oh, I know. Breakfast with Nick, right? He told me last night. I'm his best friend too, Fi." She said and stood up as well.

"Um, Miley. Thanks. Thanks a lot for telling me the truth." I said then hugged her.

"No prob. That's what friends are for, right?" She said then pulled back.

I smiled, "Okay. Bye, Miley." I threw my cup away then walked out from the coffee shop with Miley walking behind me.

I waved to Miley before got in to my car. I turned on the engine and slowly pulled back then started to drive. I can't think clearly now. Well, last night I saw Miley with Nick then today, she came to me and tell everything. She is nice. She's really nice to me.

And I got her words stuck in my head.

He likes you.

*****************************

Breakfast with Nick didn't go well. Joe almost ate my pancakes but thankfully, Nick saved it. And on the other hand, Nick, Joe, and Kevin always caught me daydreaming in the backyard.

So, I got a phone call from Peter when I arrived. He said Mom and Dad are fighting again. And I didn't believe it. I mean, really? They looked good for 2 months and now they're fighting again? Silly.

Why I can't have a normal life? I just wanted my parents are being fine again. My Dad has been over protective to me in this week. Sometimes he wanted me to stay at home and stay out from trouble. I'm 16 and I know what's not good to me. I can take care of myself and he treats me like a baby. But my Mom.. well, she doesn't really care to me cause she's so busy. She's more busy than my Dad. Duh.

"Fi, are you okay?" I looked up and saw Nick stand in front of me.

"Um, yeah. I'm fine." I looked at phone and stared it for a while.

"Lie." He sat next to me, looking at me, "Tell me."

I sighed then turned at him, "Really. I'm fine."

"Look, Fi, I know you since years ago. I know when there's something wrong with you. I can see it in your eyes." He said, grabbing my hand and intertwining our fingers.

"Okay." I took a deep breath then started to talk, "I just got a call from Peter. He said Mom and Dad are fighting again. And I don't believe it. They've been fine for 2 months so how could they fight again? It's silly.

"It feels like they only tried to look good in front of me and showed the real situation behind my back. Why they have to lie to me? They can sit and tell me that everything's not fine. I'm 16 and I know when somethings wrong going on between them. They'll not talk and sleep in separate bedroom. And I saw those things in last 5 days. I mean, why they can't tell me the truth?" Tears blurred my vision and I started to sob.

"I mean, all I wanna have is a normal family, not a family with fake smiles and awkward silence every time. They didn't want to divorce but this situation will slowly killing us. " My tears slowly come down.

"Fi.." He hugged me tight and I buried my face on his shoulder.

"Maybe they didn't want you to worried or something." He rubbed my back, trying to calm me. And I just cried. Cried just because this stupid things. Well, I got tired with all of the cry stuff but I just can't stop it.

I pulled back from him and wiped away my tears. "Fiona.."

"What?" I looked up, still wiping away my tears.

"Cry won't make the problem clear. So, why don't you talk and tell them about your feelings? You can't keep hiding it, Fi." His last sentence hung in my mind. I can't keep hiding it forever, like I hid my feelings from Nick.

I looked him in the eyes, staring those deep brown eyes for a hundred times, "Thank you, Nick." I murmured lightly, "Thank you for listening me every time I told you about my family and.. for everything." I smiled at the last word and it's making him smile too.

"Hey, I'll always beside you, Fi. Don't be afraid to tell me everything."

"Thanks, Nick. Thanks a lot." I said.

"Hey, Fi. You should take off your glasses." He said as I stood up.

I sighed and pulled off my glasses then shoved it into the pocket of my hoodie, "Ah. You look much better." He said then stood up as well.

I chuckled, "You didn't like my glasses, did you? Blame it on my Mom. She had me to wore this glasses and braces."

He burst out in laughter when I said 'braces', "Nick, it's not that funny." I said, sighing. I didn't know why he still laugh every time I said about my braces. It's not funny, ya know? But hm, it's kinda funny. But ummm.. okay whatever.

"It's so funny, Fi." Joe's voice came from the backyard.

"You should see your photo when you were 14." He stepped closer to me, "Fiona Smith with braces and glasses." Then he and Nick burst out in laughter, again.

"Haha. That's so funny, guys." I said sarcastically, leaving them laugh and walking to the backyard. I sat on the swinging and stared the tree's swaying. Why I can't be like a tree? Or wind? Let everything go just like the wind? I really wanna be like that.

"Fi, I'm so sorry." Nick came and stood in front of me.

I looked up and narrowed my eyes, "For what?"

"About the braces thing." He said slowly.

I chuckled, "Hey, it's okay, Nick." I gave him a smile and looked at the tree again.

"Oh, okay." He silenced, "Ah, and about your glasses." Oh Nick, what now?

I raised an eyebrow, "You really looked so much better without your glasses. You look more pretty. I like those brown eyes." I looked at him and smiled wide. Oh Nick, do you know how much I like your eyes?

"Thanks." I said, blushing.

"So, wanna stay for lunch?"

"Hm, I really want to stay but I have to have lunch with my Dad." I smiled weakly, "Sorry."

"Oh, okay. It's fine." I stood up and walked inside the house.

I passed Joe, watching TV, "Hey Fi, where are you going? Won't stay for lunch, huh? Mom and Dani will be home soon." He said when I passed him.

I turned to face him, "I really want to, Joe. But I have to have lunch with my Dad."

"Oh, okay. See ya, Fi." He said then turned to see the TV again.

"Bye, Joe." I said, walking to the front door and I realized Nick is following me. I opened the front door, "So, thanks for the breakfast, Nick. Joe is a good chef." I smiled.

"No prob." He smiled back to me, "Bye, Fi." He pulled me into a hug.

"Bye, Nick." I pulled back and walked to my car. I slid in, starting the ignition and pulled back from the Jonas' driveway. I saw he gave me a small and I just smiled to him. I turned on the radio and drove in silence to home.

Home.

Well, I never felt my own house is a home. The Jonas' house always be a home for me. They treated me like a family and I really love that. I don't see my Mom too often cause she's always busy and has no time for me. So, I'll stay at home with Dad or alone. Poor me.

My safest places in this world are my room and Jonas' house. My room cause I kept all my secrets there and I can do anything I want in my room. And the Jonas' house cause I always stay at their house since I was a kid. I played with Nick, Joe, and Kevin and laughed together with them. They treat me like a sister and a family. That's why I love them so much.

And Peter. He's my big brother and he always cared to me even he's living in NY. The best thing I know now is Peter will coming home soon and I'm feeling good. He knows me too well so I can't lie to him. It's like he can read my mind. That's why I can keep my own secret when I near him. He just looks like Nick.

Oh. Nick.

I like him so much. He's always nice to me and he's the best friend ever. Well, I remembered Miley's words. She said that Nick doesn't have any feelings to her. I mean, when he dated Miley, he always has his phone near him. It's like he can't stop texting her and he didn't stay at home too much. And he didn't meet me a lot. He always busy with her so we can only talk on the phone. Oh, I hate that time.

But now I'm glad that time is over.

*****************************

I saw both Dad's and Mom's car on the driveway. It's not really good. It means we're all will have an awkward situation during lunch. Ugh.

I pulled up in front of the house and took a deep breath. I pushed the door open, stepped out, and gently shut the door. I hadn't talk with them today because I didn't meet them. I got inside to the house and made my way to the family room.

"Fiona." Dad said as I walked to the family room.

"Hm?" I muttered, turning to look to at him. He wore his casual clothes and watched the TV.

"I had some good news for you." He gave a smile to me, a warm smile like he always gave. I sat on the couch near him then looked at him.

"Peter is coming home." Still smiling to me.

"I already knew that. He told me this morning." I gave him a small smile then pulled out my phone from my jeans pocket.

"Ah, no fair." I chuckled when Dad said that. I stood up and walked to the stairs.

"Well, maybe you haven't heard this one." I turned around to look at him and narrowed my eyes.

"Or maybe Nick told me you earlier."

"Nick?" I asked, making my way to him again, "Nick didn't tell me anything."

"Okay, so--" He silenced for a while. Dad, can you please just tell me what is it?, "You're going tour with Jonas Brothers."

"WHAT?? REALLY??" My eyes widened.

"Yea, really." He said calmly.

"AAAAAA, THANK YOU, DAD." I jumped to him and hugged him tight, "Thank you thank you thank you so much. I love you, Dad." I still hugged him tight, too excited to pulled back.

"Okay, okay. Fiona, can you just-" He glanced at my arms. Okay I hugged him too tight.

"Sorry." I pulled back, still smiling like an idiot, "Oh, Dad. I love you so much." I hugged him, again.

"I know. I love you too, kid." He hugged me back, "I know you're so excited to go on tour with them." I nodded and pulled back.

"Where's Mom?" I asked then stood up.

"I'm here!!" Her voice came from the kitchen, walking to the family room.

"Mom!!" I ran to her and hugged her.

"Okay, what's going on, honey?" Mom asked me, hugging me back.

"I'm going on tour with Nick!" I said excitedly.

"Well,-" She pulled back, facing me, "It's so great, isn't it?" She smiled for me. As usual, Mom gave me a fake smile. Oh Mom, what happened?

"Yes, it is! Ah, It's gonna be a great summer!!" I left them in the family room and stormed to my room. Once, I'm inside my room, I grabbed my phone and dialed Nick's number.

"Hello," He answered at the second ring.

"NICK!! I HATE YOU!!" I yelled over the phone then turned on the speaker mode.

"What? Did he say or do something wrong?" Joe's voice heard on the background. Yes, he turned on the speaker.

"You didn't tell me about the tour!! How dare you?!" I put my phone on the bed, taking off my hoodie.

"Nick, you didn't tell her, did you?" It's Kevin now.

"Yea, I made it as a surprise." Nick said, then they burst out in laughter. Okay, it's not funny, guys.

"Oh yeah, surprise, huh? Thanks a lot." I threw my hoodie to the sofa, pulled off my shoes, then I jumped to the bed.

"Yep, it's cool, isn't it?" He said.

I smiled, "Yeah. It's gonna be a great summer."

"Lunch time!!" Dad screamed from the downstairs.

"So, that's my call." We both silenced, "Okay, see you on tour, Nick."

"Bye, Fi." He hung up then I sighed. I can't believe he didn't tell me about the tour earlier. I was at his home, talked with him, and he didn't say anything about tour. Oh, Nick.

*****************************

Both lunch and dinner are not so good. We ate in silence, glanced each other, and no one started to talk. I knew Mom got something to talk but when I'm done with dinner, I just left, washed dishes, and walked back to my room.

And now, here I am.

Sitting alone in my room, I walked to my desk and turned on my laptop. I saw my photo with Nick as the home screen and silenced. I didn't know what I have to do now. My throat dried but if I go downstairs, I'll meet my parents and ended up talk with them.

I ignored my thoughts and walked out from my room. Once I'm on the stairs, I could her their voices in the backyard. I ignored it and walked to the kitchen. I grabbed a drink and sat on the counter.

"Then why you left her? You never saw her growing up." I heard Dad's voice.

"It's not about that, Rick. I thought you already told her that I'll bring her to New York." Okay what is this all about? I jumped off to the ground and walked to the family room to hear it clearly.

"I'd tell her, Jean. It's her decision and she said no." They silenced, "You can't just take her from me. We had a deal before." I saw Dad's face turning into read. He's mad at Mom.

"I know! And I'm not gonna take her from you! I just wanted to bring her to New York for a while. I missed spending time with her. She's my daughter too, Rick." They're fighting again. Oh, God. What the hell is happened with my parents?

"Then why you always busy with your job? You should be ashamed to yourself, Jean! You didn't want her to be a singer then you left her and chose your job. But now, look at yourself. What kind of Mom are you?" I stared at them with tears blurring my vision. They're fighting because of their goddamn daughter. Because of me.

I stormed to my room and grabbed a bag. I shoved my clothes,my bathing stuff, laptop, and wallet into it. After I'm done, I took my bag and walked downstairs.

"Fiona! Where are you going?" I grabbed my car keys and turned around. Mom stood there with tears in her eyes.

"The Jonas' house. I can't see you fight with Dad everyday, Mom."

She took my left hand, "No, wait. Let me tell you the truth."

I sighed, "First, let me make it clear. Dad told me that you wanted me to go to New York with you but I refused it. Cause it's still hurt, Mom. It's hurt how you left me with Dad and Peter just because you didn't wanna see me as a singer. I just wanna be who I am but you can't stand with it. You just wanted to control me!" My voice shaking and tears coming down to my cheek. She has to know the truth.

Dad walked in and looked at me, "Second, I missed you, Mom. I always missed you but you didn't right beside me when I need you. You always busy with your job and you didn't have a time for me. For your own daughter! You didn't even see me growing up!" I said, half yelled and walked out from the house.

I slid into my car and turned the ignition. Dad stood on the porch, still looking at me. I ignored it and pulled back from the driveway. I made my way to the Jonas' house. I always can think clearly if I'm there. And I always have Nick, Joe, Kevin, or somebody to talk.

I looked at the clock; 11:32 PM. I hope they haven't sleep. I really need somebody to talk. And I hope it'll be Nick. I really need him right now.

I pulled up in front of their house and slid out from my car. I took my bags and walked to the front door. I inhaled the cold night air and knocked at the door.

"Got it." Somebody screamed from inside of the house.

The door opened, "Fiona?" Kevin stood there with his pajama. He looked at me in a confused look then he realized that I have my bags.

"Hey, I know it's almost midnight but if you-"

"Come in, Fi." He cut my words and made a way for me to walk in.

"Thanks." I said, smiling to him and he just nodded.

"You should get some sleep. You look tired." He said as he made his way to the guest room. I didn't respond and followed him to the guest room.

He opened the door and let me in, "I'll call Nick." He gave me a warm smile then left me alone. I put my bag on the couch and opened it then I grabbed my pajama and changed my clothes.

The door opened and I looked up, "Hey, Fi." Nick stood there. His curly hair is messy and he looked so sleepy. O-ow I just woke him up.

"Hey, I'm so sorry to wake you up but I just needed a place to stay for a day." I said, giving him a small smile.

"Nah, it's fine. You can stay as long as you want." I lay on the bed and he stepped closer to me.

"What happened, Fi?" He sat on the side of the bed and looked at me with those sleepy eyes.

"I was fighting with my Mom." I said shortly and now he's laying next to me.

"I'm so sorry for that." I knew he wants me to tell what the fight about.

"She wanted me to come to New York with her and I refused it. I did it cause it's still hurt for me. It's still hurt how she left me just because she didn't want to see me be the one who I want to be. She left me just because that stupid thing." I leaned my head on his shoulder.

He didn't say anything. He just grabbed my right hand, intertwining our fingers, "Mom doesn't love me." I closed my eyes, "Nobody loves me." I muttered.

"Fi, promise me that you'll never say that again. Your Mom loves you. Everybody love you. Your Dad, Peter, me, Kevin, Joe, and your fans." He said in a low voice.

"If Mom loves me, then why she left me?"

"She left you cause she wanted you to be happy as yourself. Not as the person she wanted be. I know she loves you even she left you with Peter and your Dad."

"It's like I have no home anymore. I'm tired of seeing my parents fighting again." I sighed and opened my eyes.

"Don't said that. You can come and stay here as long as you want. Imagine that this is your home." I nodded and looked at him. He just laid next to me and gave his perfect smile to me.

"Thanks, Nick." I muttered, looking at his deep beautiful brown eyes. He didn't answer, he just gave me a smile and turned his head to face me.

"Okay, let's get some sleep." I said.

"Good night, Fi." I could feel his movement and then he kissed my forehead, "I love you." He whispered to me.

"Love you too, Nick."

I closed my eyes and smiled. This is what I need to hear. I needed to hear that there's one person in this world who loves me. A person who loves me for who I am. And he always made feel like I'm home.

A home that I never have before.