Smile for Me

"I hate myself."

"Stop talking, Fi." Gracie said, sitting next to me.

"I can't" I said, my head in my hands.

"You got a sore throat, Fi. So, you have to stop talking." She warned me.

"Soup!!!" The door opened and Joe came in with a bowl of soup on his hands.

"Hey, Joe." I said in a throaty voice.

He stopped at his track, "Uh." Then he came closer to me, "That sounds creepy, Fi."

"Ugh." Joe gave the soup to me and sat on the corner of my bed.

"Thanks a lot for-"

"Stop talking. Start to eat." Gracie cut my words.

"Okay, Mom." I joked and she laughed.

I didn't feel hungry but I still tried to eat the soup. I hated being sick. It made me can't sing or go outside and I had to rest (read: sleep all day).

"Thanks for the soup, Joe." I said when I finished, "Now, I need to get ready for lunch with Nick."

"Whoa. What?" Joe asked me when I stood up.

"Lunch with Nick?" I walked to my closet, trying to find some casual clothes.

"He didn't tell you, did he?"

"Tell me what?" I got out from my closet and ran to Joe.

"He'll be at the studio until midnight. He said it to me this morning." Joe said, calmly.

"Why he didn't text me?" I mumbled.

"Oh, he said you can come for breakfast. He looked happy this morning. I think, he wanted to tell you something." I looked at Gracie with wide eyes. He wanted to tell me something? About what?

"Hey, Fi. I tell you one thing." Joe said, sitting closer to me.

"Okay?" I rolled my eyes and looked at him then Gracie.

"You need to talk with Nick."

"About?" I asked Joe.

Joe rolled his eyes, "About your feelings, of course!" Joe and Gracie said in a same time.

"No. I'm not gonna tell him. Is that clear?" I said, looking at the window. I tried to avoid the eye contact.

"Oh, okay. You know what? Nick went to the studio with MILEY." Joe yelled at the last word.

"WHAT?" I yelled in a throaty voice. And it sounded creepy. So creepy.

"Fi, your voice. Save it for tomorrow." Gracie said, trying to calm me down. But I can't. Nick went with MILEY to the studio and it's bad. But no. I don't think so. I mean, really?

"Look. Fi, you have to tell him sooner or later. I mean, you can't hide it forever, right?" Joe said, looking at me.

I sighed, "I know. But this is not the right time to tell him about it, 'k?"

"Hey, hey. Hold on." Gracie said, looking at me then Joe.

"What?" Joe said then stood up. My phone rang and I tried to search it.

"It's my phone." I said as I searched it.

"Searching for this?" I looked up and saw Joe holding my phone.

I mouthed 'Thanks' to Joe then grabbed it.

Nick. Okay, he called me.

"It's Nick."

"Answer it." Joe said.

"Hello?" I answered, laying on my bed.

"Hi, Fi. Look, I just wanna say sorry cause we can't have lunch together today. I had to record some new songs with my friends and I'll go home at midnight. I'm so sorry, Fi." Nick said and sighed at the last sentence.

"Oh, okay. It's fine, Nick." Gracie gave me a confused look.

"How about breakfast at my house tomorrow?"

"Hm sounds great." I got up, walking around the room.

"Okay, see ya, Fi." he hung up.

"See ya, Nick." He's already hung up but I still said 'see ya' to him.

"I'm going to shop. Who's coming?" Joe said when I put my phone on the side table.

"I'm coming!" I yelled, running to my closet and grab some casual clothes.

"Gracie?" He asked Gracie as I ran to my bathroom, changing my pajama.

"Okay." She said. I took off my pajama and wore my t-shirt. I changed my pants in hurry and when I'm done, I got out from the bathroom and found nothing in my bedroom. Joe and Gracie were already waiting for me in the living room.

I grabbed my wallet, phone, wore my glasses then ran to the downstairs in hurry. I don't know why I have to ran. I'm not in hurry or something, I just want to run and go shopping with my best friends.

"Come on, Fiona!!" Joe sang as I locked the house and put the keys in my bag.

"Okay." I got in to the back seat and closed the door.

"Let's go shopping, ladies!" Joe said when we left the house.

Oh God, it's so good to feel happy like this even when I'm sick and knew Nick is in the studio with Miley. I know I was feeling worried but I can't feel like that forever, right?

Nick is my best friend and I like him so much. But he's not mine, and I could not tell him to not like the others, right?

*****************************

"How about this one?"

"Brown looked better."

"But I like this one. I haven't have this color before." Joe silenced, "but what do you think about it?" He asked Gracie, again.

"It's good but brown looks better." Gracie said.

"But Nick already had the brown. I don't wanna have a same shoes with him!" He said--or yelled.

"Why are you yelling at me? I'm just saying, brown looked better." Gracie glared at Joe.

"But, I-"

"Stop it!" I cut Joe's words. Now, they're looking at me, "Stop fighting! We're in the store, guys. It's not nice if there's a news about you two fighting just because a shoe!"

"O-okay." Joe said.

"I'll wait outside. Oh Joe, I like the blue one. But the brown looks nice too." I said then left them alone.

I don't have any idea why they're fighting just because a shoe! I mean, it's ridiculous. They're not kids anymore. So why they have to fight just because a shoe? It drove me crazy.

I bought an ice cream when I'm outside. I know I had a sore throat but sometimes, ice cream can make it disappear. How cool is that?

"Fiona!" Someone called my name. I turned around and saw Nick waving at me? Whoa, wait. Nick? What is he doing here?

"Hi, Fi." He opened his arms to give me a hug.

I threw my ice cream into the recycling, "Hey, Nick." I hugged him tightly.

"What are you doing here, Fi?" He asked as he pulled back.

"I was shopping with Joe and Gracie, but they're fighting and I left them alone in the store." I said, looking at him.

"They're fighting? Really?" He asked. He looked interested on his brother fight.

"Yep. That's why-"

"Fi!!" I saw Joe and Gracie heading my way, carrying a shopping bag.

"Hey, Joe." I said in low voice.

"Joe!" Nick hugged his brother then Gracie.

"So, how about the shoes?" I asked Joe.

He looked confused, "What happened to your voice?" And he didn't answer my question.

"Ice cream. I bought an ice cream and my 'real' voice came back." I said, smiling.

"Whoa. What happened to you, Fi?" And now, Nick looked confused. It means, he didn't know if I'm sick.

"I had a sore throat." I said shortly. He's been busy with Miley at the studio until he didn't know if his best friend was sick. Oh wait. I can't be mad at him. I'm not his girlfriend, remember? I'm just his best friend.

"Oh." That's it. Just 'oh' from Nick.

"So, what are you doing here?" I asked Nick, breaking the silence around us.

"I was having lunch w-"

"Nick!!!" O-ow. It's Miley. So, he can't have lunch with me but he could have lunch with Miley.

"With Miley." He finished his words, eyes rolling. Joe and Gracie looked at me with a surprised look.

"Hi, guys." Miley said as she stop at her track then she turned to Nick, "We have to go now."

Nick smiled to her. Wait? He smiled? To Miley? I mean, he gave her the best smile he ever had. Something's going on, "Okay."

"See ya, Fi." Nick hugged me tight.

"Okay, see ya, Nick." I pulled back and watched him hug Joe and Gracie.

"Bye!!" He waved at me and walked to his car with Miley, still smiling at her. He still gave her his best smile. And it made my heart broken. I know I was smiling outside, but I'm crying inside. I didn't know if seeing him with Miley is break my heart.

I know I can perfectly hide my feelings around him but Joe was right. I can't hide my feelings forever. Sooner or later he will find it out.

*****************************

It's 10:38 PM and I can't sleep. I curled under my blanket but still can't sleep. I tried every way to get sleep but I couldn't. I got up and walked around my room, trying to get tired and get some sleep but I still can't sleep. Ugh.

I grabbed my hoodie and slid my arms into it. I grabbed my phone and walked out from my room. Hm maybe I need some fresh air.

"Fiona? Where are you going?" I spun around and saw my Dad watching TV.

"I need some fresh air." I grabbed my car keys and walked out from the house.

I walked to my car, unlocked it, got inside, and do nothing. I really need to talk with someone now. I wanted to talk with Gracie, but I bet she's sleeping now. I wanted to talk with Joe, but I'm too lazy to drive to his house. I wanted to talk with Nick, but he's in the studio. Wait. Maybe I can come and give him a surprise.

I pulled back from the garage and turned on the radio. I sang to some random songs when I drove to the studio. I'm so excited to meet Nick cause I need to talk with him. Maybe I didn't have something important to talk with him but I just want to have some 'quality times' with him.

I saw Nick's car when I arrived. I got out from my car and took a deep breath. I hope he's not busy or something so I can talk with him. I locked my car and walked inside to the studio. I walked calmly to the studio, hoping not disturb everybody.

"You can't hide it forever, Nick" It's Miley's voice. I took a peek to see what are they doing.

"I know, but it's not the right time." Nick sounded so worried. What are they talking about?

"Yeah, I know. But you just have to say it. You can't keep hide it." And now he's holding Miley's hands. What is happening in here? And why Nick held Miley's hands?

"I just don't know how to say it." He's looking Miley in the eyes. Oh my God, they're not together again, right? And you know what? They're really close. Like so close.

"Well, it's kinda-" Miley trailed off. Nick stepped closer and...

"Oh my God." I whispered. He kissed her. Nick kissed Miley. My heart broke into million pieces and my eyes watered. I watched them kiss and I felt so terrible. I mean, I watched Nick kissed Miley. Nick, the guy I love, kissed his ex-girlfriend.

Tears started coming down to my cheek. I ran to my car and started to drive. Tears keep coming down to my cheek and I can't help it. I feel really hurt and my heart broke into million pieces. I just didn't think that he'll back with Miley. He said he just broke up with Miley but then he kissed his ex-girlfriend.

Once I arrived at home, I ran to my room and cried. I cried so hard cause I know how it hurts me. It hurts me so much even I'm not his girlfriend. I never knew that it'll hurt me like this. I thought I'll be fine and won't feel hurt like this. But I was wrong. It does hurt me.

"Fiona?" The door slowly opened and I curled under my blanket, pretending to sleep.

"Fi?" It's my Dad. I heard the footsteps coming and now my Dad already stood near my bed.

"She's sleeping." He said.

"Oh, okay." Wait. Is it Nick?

"Do you want me to say something to her?"

"Just tell her that I came here." Yeah, it's Nick. His voice heard so close to me. What is he doing here? Did he know that I came to the studio?

"Okay." Look likes my Dad left Nick in my room. I can feel Nick came closer to me and took a deep breath.

He kissed my temple and I can feel his breath, "I love you." He whispered and walked out from my room.

I opened my eyes and took a deep breath. Is it real?