Don't Stop Now

I rode the Hurricane Slides with John Ohh about 5 times. He and I were such daredevils; that ride was a total baby one for us. We needed more thrill. Then I went on the Black Hole with Kennedy and Jared. Since that one was a closed ride all the way through, it was so uncomfortable and made it hard to breathe. With Jared screaming for help and Kenny’s excited shouts, I definitely couldn’t wait till we hit the water.

Pat and I got to race each other on the Tornado Twisters. I won… and he got water stuck in his ear. “You suck, Norah!” He shouted after the ride.

After having fun with the first four guys, I walked over to Garrett, who was lying back on a beach chair, and reached for his hand. He pulled away and sat up. “Can you please spare some time for me, Nor?”

“What?” I asked, “What do you think I’m doing Garrett?”

He took off his sunglasses and ran his hand down his face. “Why are you spending so much time with Baby Gomez anyway? I thought you can’t stand vegetarians.”

“Are you serious right now?” I leaned towards him and continued, “If you’re going to act like this… well then just sit here while I have fun with John okay?” Garrett nodded, as if he didn’t mind. I groaned and shook my head. “You’re acting like such a douche, Gare.” Then I walked back to John who was waiting for me and right in front of Garrett’s face, I grabbed John’s hand.

The rest of the day was fun. John and I rode the Kilauea Cove Slides and as we hit the bottom the rest of the guys were there waiting and laughing at us because of the expressions we had on our faces. After experiencing all of the thrill and exciting rides, all of us, excluding Garrett, relaxed at Waikiki Beach. We had our inner tubes and lied across them as the waves hit. Spending the day with John wasn’t as bad as I thought. Even though Garrett was mad at me, I had completely forgotten about him while I was with John.

“I had a great time, Norah. Thanks so much.” John said, pulling me into a hug. His arms were wrapped around my neck as my arms creeped around his waist. We both smelled like chlorine, but that didn’t matter. “John, I had an AMAZING time. You definitely know how to treat a girl and… you’re just the best.” I said, giving him another hug. We squeezed each other tightly before letting go. I hugged Stephen and Halvo before heading to the car.

Garrett was already in the car. He was sitting in the back and I didn’t want to be around him so I sat in the middle seat, next to the window. Pat came next and had a questionable look on his face. He turned to me and I just shook my head. Pat didn’t ask anything and just sat down right next to me.

“I had a fucking blast, you guys! Norah! You and I conquered the Hurricane Slide!” John shouted as he jumped in the drivers seat and turned back to give me a high-five. “Those were too easy, John. Too fucking easy…” I replied back and he laughed, giving me thumbs up.

Jared walked in and looked at me the same way Pat did. “Do I sit next to Garrett or something?” He asked. Garrett just pulled Jared by his towel and made him land on the seat next to him. “Just shut the fuck up Jared.”

“Whoa, what’s going on?” Jared asked in a loud tone.

“What’s going on?” Kennedy asked, hopping in the passenger’s seat. John started the car and said, “Look, no arguing. We have to go pack up tonight because we’re leaving to LA tomorrow morning.”

Kennedy shrugged and popped in The Summer Set CD. I smiled and sat back, leaning my head against the window. As I tilted my head back against the head rest, I could see Garrett looking at me through the corner of my eye. When I turned away, I knew he turned away also.

“Kenny, just pick a fucking song!” John shouted as Kennedy kept pressing the next button on the car music player. “Okay, okay.” He pressed it one final time before removing his finger from the button. “Oh no,” he said, reaching for it again but John quickly slapped Kenny’s hand away.

“Fucking leave it.” John laughed.

As soon as I recognized the song, I told John to sing it out loud because I knew he knew it too. John understood what I meant and sang his heart out,

It’s 3 am, outside your window. Jump the fence, dad will never know. Fell in love with you in the passenger seat.

John had pointed to Kenny as he sang the last line and we all laughed. Despite the tension between Garrett and me, I managed to ignore it and enjoy the rest of the ride home with the guys.

When we finally made it home, we all hurried out and rushed inside the house. It was only about 5 and the guys had to start packing ASAP. I went to go take a quick shower so I could help them out. As I walked into my room, Garrett was sitting on my bed, looking at my walls. On my walls, were pictures I had saved since middle school and beyond. Most of them were of Garrett and I.

“We need to talk,” he said.

Holding my towel at my chest, I walked over to my dresser and pulled out shorts and a tank top. Turning to face Garrett, I said, “We’re not a couple Gare. So cut the crap and just tell me.”

“I’m trying to be honest with you Norah. At least give me some kind words.”

I looked at him, waiting for him to continue.

He took a breath and began again, “Can I just say that today made me realize how jealous I got because of you and John? It was like a visual of how it would be if you and I were together. I couldn’t stand it Norah. John… he’s a great guy, but I love you.”

“No! NO! Garrett you can’t do that! You can’t say that!”

“What?”

“You can’t just tell me that you love me! You gave me permission to have fun with John while you just sat there doing nothing!”

Garrett stood up and walked over to me. “I love you, Norah. What more can I say?”

“Please don’t say that to me.”

“But you told me you love me too. You still love me, right?” He asked.

I nodded and then shook my head. “Yes I do… wait, I don’t know. I’m not really sure about that anymore Garrett. I’m sorry.”

Then there was silence between us. Garrett didn’t say a word until I said, “Can you please leave now. I need to change.” And then he left.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Well, we’re all packed!” Kennedy said, loading the last bag in the bus. The rest of the guys and I were all outside, sitting on the sidewalk, enjoying the Arizona sunset. John was inside the bus, checking to see if they were stocked with food. Pat was in charge of bringing toilet paper and hand sanitizer because they had ran out 5 times their last tour.

I was sitting down next to Jared as we faced West. I leaned my head on his shoulder and said softly, “Jare, can I tell you something?”

“Sure little Kirch. Go ahead.” He said, ruffling my hair with his free hand.

“I’m not joining you guys for these last few dates.”

Quickly, Jared pulled away and stared at me with huge eyes. “W-what? You’re not coming with us?” That time, he said it out loud, loud enough for the rest of the guys to hear.

Kennedy came near me and said, “You need to come Norah. You help us out a lot.”

I stood up and turned around to face them all. “I’m sorry.”

John jumped off the bus and with a big smile on his face, he said, “Well we have 3 boxes of Cheese-Its and 20 boxes of cup noodles and –”

“Norah isn’t coming with us, John,” Jared cut him off.

John’s beaming face, slowly faded into a frown. He turned to me and raised his arms in the air. “Norah, you have to come with us. We only have like 15 dates left. Warped is going to need you.”

I shook my head. “Look, can you guys just please understand that I don’t want to come?

Garrett, who was standing yards from me, opened his mouth and said, “She doesn’t want to come because she doesn’t love me anymore.”

All eyes went on Garrett and on me. I crossed my arms and retained myself to not blow up and charge for the guy. He was doing this on purpose, but what was I supposed to do?

“I told her I love her, and now she’s not sure of how she feels towards me. Sure, I was pissed at her today for hanging out with John Gomez, but at least I’m man enough to admit it to her and tell her that I’d forget all about it if she could just join us on the bus….”

Again, I shook my head. “You can’t say that Garrett.”

His eyes were burning a hole through me, but I couldn’t stare back. I felt like crying and running inside the house, but that would make me seem weak and the guys know I am not a weak girl.

“Norah, I’m sorry. I think I’ve mentioned this a million times. What more can I do? What do you want me to do? Tell me one thing and I’ll do it. I won’t disappoint you. Look, I know you don’t deserve me. You deserve much better, but I love you. I really do love you, Norah. I can’t help myself.”

“Just tell me… what do you want me to do?”

I built up the courage to pick my head up and look him in the eyes. “I want you to go.” And just like that, I turned away and made my way towards the front door. I left the guys near the bus and didn’t turn back. I was tired of it. Tired of him. Tired of everything.

“You’re lucky Tim isn’t here…” I heard Pat say right before I shut the front door to my past.