This Is a Reason for Broken Wings

In the coming days it took me a while to get used my new routine; getting up early, going to work, coming hope to help around the house, most of the time cook dinner seeing as how Zacky wasn't fortunate enough to inherit the exceptional cooking skills that we Italians are world renown for, and then go to bed.

Usually, I would just wake up, get dressed, wait for somebody to come pick me up, party, drink, smoke, do my drugs, black out, and then wake up the next morning in my bed, getting up to do it all over again.

That wasn't me and I didn't realize until now how much I hated living my life like that. I hated the image I had brought down upon myself and I hated living with the idea that I had actually stooped as low as I had during that dark period of my life.

Here in Huntington, I was happy; happier than I had been in a long time. I was able to relax some about opening up to people and not being such a damn hard ass. I was actually 'making friends' (as pathetic as this may sound) and I was finally discovering that your days spent are a lot more fun when you have other people to share them with.

I was beginning to bond with the 'gang' as the days went by and I realized that they were some of the most amazing people someone could even wish to know.

They were close with one another, do anything for another in a heart beat, bend over backwards any time, any place just so they could brighten someone's day. They were genuine friends and I knew that I was a long way from earning my place amongst them.

Already, after three weeks of living here in Huntington, I've met a lot of Zacky's mutual friends, including an infamous JB Diz, won my brother's Beemer off of him (hey, he was the one who made that bet, not me), got slapped with two parking tickets along with a speeding ticket, ran over a skunk, and had two withdrawals.

I admit I was having a much harder time with this than I thought I would. I was still struggling with my cravings for my marijuana, my alcohol, and every once in a while, my cocaine. It wasn't because of the fact that I needed it to escape my troubles, but because I had become a junkie for them.

I mean, it's hard to go cold turkey when you've been doing this shit as long as I have.
I felt paranoid because I was missing the usual marijuana in my blood stream and I actually felt bummed due to my lack of alcohol consumption. But what really got me was my coke pains.

Like I said I've had two withdrawals. Those were the days that were the hardest on me. I would get the need for my shit so bad but then my body would just take control, causing me to black out. Both times this happened, I woke up in a bathtub filled with ice cold water with my brother sitting there beside the tub, holding tightly to my hand as if he feared that I would slip off and never come back.

As much as I wanted to just give up and give into all my cravings, I remembered I had made a promise to myself and my brother for that matter, that I would stop them...However, I didn't exactly say when I was gonna stop.


"Yo, Zacky, where the hell did you put the mustard at?" I asked, looking around the table for it.

When he didn't answer I looked up and saw him caught in a major struggle with the grill. I rolled my eyes and walked over there, taking the fork from him to turn over the steaks and hotdogs, which were both slightly burnt on one side.

"I was getting to that." He smirked as I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Sure...Where did you put the mustard?"

"Oh I threw it away because there was none left."

"But we can't have hotdogs without the mustard." I whined.

"Well...Matt's going to the store...You should hop in with him."

"Um..." I trailed off, looking around for Matt and saw him disappear into the house. "Piss." I mumbled to myself as I took off after him.

"Hey, Matt!" I yelled, trying to stop him before he disappeared through the front door.

"Yo." He said, stopping to look at me.

"I'm coming with you." I said, snatching my purse of the counter.

"Eh...okay. But we're taking your car."

The ride to the store seemed to take a while; not because I was in the same car with Matt but because there was a wreck in front of us that was holding everybody up.

Since that day Matt and I 'talked' we've become pretty good friends I guess you could say. Not one single argument (unless you count the ones where we were just messing around) and not one single fist fight. There was something about Matt that I really liked, or, made me 'favor' him over the rest of the guys. I really didn't know what it was. He was a little strange at times, a bit dorky here and there, always said the damnedest things, but almost always knew just the right words to make your day better.

We finally pulled into the store parking lot, frowning slightly seeing that it took us 45 minutes to get there while under any other circumstance it was a 5 minute drive.

"So, what all do we need again?" Matt asked as we walked through the automatic doors.

"All I really came for was mustard." I said.

"Er...let call Zacky up real fast." He said, pulling out his cell and started to punch in the numbers.

"Oh, wait." He grinned, hanging it up. "I have a list." He said proudly, pulling it out and holding it up to my face as if he was wanting to prove that he had it.

"That's cool." I laughed. "So, what's on there?"

"Mostly alcohol."

"So, do we need a cart?"

"Definitely."

I sighed as went to go grab one while Matt stood there, still going through the list.

"Here, I'll trade you." I said, snatching his list from him.

"Man, I always get stuck pushing the carts." He pouted, grabbing a hold of it while I led the way through the place, grabbing stuff of the shelves that we needed and stuff that we didn't.

"Alright...On to the liquor." I announced, seeing that those were the last items on the list.

"Okay, this one, this one, definitely this one..." Matt mumbled, loading his arms up with various types of alcohol.

"Geesh, drink much?" I asked.

"Not really." He smirked, placing his picks gently into the cart. "Do you want something?"

"Eh..." I really did want something but I knew that Zacky would probably throw a fit if he found out.

"I won't tell your brother, I promise." He grinned as if reading my mind. "You could wait until he's incapacitated on the couch."

"Well...Okay then." I said.

"Go ahead and get whatever you want. I'm gonna go grab some more steak sauce real fast and then we'll be good to go." He said, dashing off down the isle.

I sighed and started to hum softly to myself as I skimmed through the assorted drinks, trying to decide which one to get. I felt somewhat guilty about drinking tonight, seeing as how I'm trying to stop but eh, I told myself I wouldn't drink that much. I finally decided on some Mango Malibu because it wasn't strong at all but it'll definitely soothe your alcohol cravings and a six pack of Smirnoff Ice Triple Black for my down time.

Just as I was putting them in the cart I noticed some dude watching me out of the corner of my eye. When I turned around to look at him he smiled and gave me a little wave causing me to force a smile and peace sign in return.

He looked oddly familiar for some reason and I know I seen him before. Was he one of Zacky's friends? No. Was he someone I met at the shop? No. Was he someone I got with before? Who knows. I was still trying to figure it out when he walked over to me, grinning shyly.

"Hi." He said, coming to a stop beside the cart.

"Hello."

"Looks like you're gearing up for a party."

"Eh...Well, it was just supposed to be a barbeque but you know how that goes."

"Yeah." He laughed. "I sure do."

I continued to stare at him as it it'd suddenly pop into my head as to where I've seen him. I felt my face turn slightly red as he cocked his head to the side a bit when he noticed my sudden staring fit.

"Sorry." I mumbled, scratching the back of my neck. "You just look really familiar."

"Thanks okay. My name's-"

"Alex." Matt said, walking up behind me.

I couldn't help but notice the bitterness in Matt's voice as he spoke and I turned around to see his eyes narrowed at the dude, whose name was apparently Alex.

"Matt." Alex replied just as bitterly.

Then it struck me as to where I've seen him...He was Alex Varkatzas, the vocalist from Atreyu, and if I remember correctly, Matt and the guys didn't really like them that much.

"Sweetie, please don't tell me that you're his girlfriend." Alex said, changing his tone when he spoke to me.

"I-"

"What if she is?" Matt asked, suddenly wrapping an arm around my waist to pull me against his body.

I bit my lip as he tightened his grip on me, holding me in place. I felt my heart starting to beat faster and faster in my chest because Matt didn't know what he was doing to me just then. Let's just say I get turned on pretty easy when I come into physical contact with some hot, attractive guys...such as Matt.

"Then that's certainly a shame." Alex spat, narrowing his eyes at Matt. "How the hell did you two 'opposites' manage to meet?"

"Her brother." He said, gently lacing his fingers with mine and wrapped that arm around my waist as well.

I seriously didn't know if I could handle this any much longer.

"Who-Oh...I didn't know Zacky had a sister." Alex said, noticing the strong resemblance my brother and I shared. "Funny, I always thoughts Italians were said to have good taste."

"You never did like the fact that I always got the good ones, did you Alex?" Matt said, brushing his lips ever so slightly against my cheek.

I felt the goose bumps ripple down my back as his cold lip ring came in contact with my flesh but I was able to keep my cool...But just barely.

"Oh, the last good one you got ended up with me in the end though, didn't she?" Alex smirked. "Seems she didn't really like you that much, huh?"

Before I knew what the fuck had happened I was throw into the cart, literally, while Matt and Alex were slugging it out. They wrestled each other down to the ground where Alex managed to get Matt into a headlock.

You could see Matt's face actually turning purple from his lack of oxygen but he managed to break Alex's hold and hit him with a left hook, breaking the two apart so that they could take a couple seconds to regain themselves before they went at it again. However, they were wrestled back to the ground by some security guards who slapped the cuffs on them and pulled them towards the front of the store.

"I...Wait!" I called after the guards. "Where are you taking him?" I asked referring to Matt as I ran after them.

"To the police station downtown." One of them replied in a tone that clearly said our conversation was over and done with.

I cursed under my breath as I took one last look at them and headed back to our cart that I had left abandoned in the middle of the isle. I frowned some as I realized that no check out clerk in their right mind would let me buy the alcohol and I knew that Zacky wouldn't be happy at all if I came home 'empty handed.'

I pulled out my cell and called him up to break the news to him.

"Hey...Where the hell are you guys?" He asked.

"Well...First we-"

"You guys got busy in the back seat?" Johnny yelled in the background.

I hesitated a bit, thinking about how I had just been turned on by Matt not five minutes ago.

"What?!" Zacky yelled, mistaking my hesitation as a confirmation to Johnny's joke.

"No, no." I said. "We got held up in traffic by some car wreck and now...Well...Uh, they just hauled Matt off to jail."

"Jail? What the hell did he do this time?"

"Um...We ran into some dude here at the store...Alex Varkatzas, and-"

"Oh...Say no more; just let him stay in there for the day, its fine."

"Okay." I said slowly. "So, I'm here by myself at the store with all these alcoholic beverages..." I said, trying to hint around.

"Well, find yourself a buyer." He said, making it sound as simple as that.

"Zacky." I protested.

"Don't come home without our booze."

"Whatever then." I huffed, hanging up on him.

I shoved my cell back in my purse and pulled the cart along behind me, heading towards the front. It was 5 o'clock in the afternoon; where the hell was I gonna find a buyer during this time of day? As I was walking past the check out stands, my eyes caught on a dude not much older than me. I smiled some getting an idea and pulled my cart into his 'lane.'

A few minutes later I was loading my stuff into the back of my car, alcohol and all. Let's just say I have a gift for getting what I want. I sped home, my stomach thinking my throats been cut because I was so damn hungry, while I was trying not to think about how much I actually liked being in Matt's arms like that.