This Is a Reason for Broken Wings
Long Waits and Bunking Arrangements
"Well, I don't think he should." I retorted angrily. "Please...Don't tell him." I repeated, softening my voice this time.
I stared up at Matt, begging him with my eyes to let my secret rest soundly with him. He sighed loudly, tearing his eyes from my stare, and looked down at my arm, unraveling the towel wrapped around it. Seeing that the bleeding had stopped, he tossed the towel aside, but continued to examine my arm, his eyes lingering on some seemingly insignificant scars.
"Lauren...How long?" He asked.
"I used to do it all the time." I mumbled, moving my fingers to the light scars scattered here and there on my arm. "When the drugs didn't work and the alcohol didn't last long enough...I would take my straightedge to myself."
I recoiled slightly as I felt his touch on my skin, turning my arm over so he could see the other side of it. His fingers gently ran along the scars just as mine had done only seconds before.
"Matt...I can't tell him." I mumbled, referring back to my brother.
"Why not?" He asked gently, removing his gaze from my arm to penetrate my eyes with his.
I shrugged my shoulders, not ready to admit that I was ashamed to tell my brother about my hidden habit.
"I just...Fuck, I don't know Matt." I said, sighing loudly to myself.
"Well...I suppose you'll tell him when you're ready to let him know." He said softly, letting my arm hang loosely back at my side.
"Lauren, come with me."
I sighed, looking up from my magazine to my brother.
"Where to?" I asked.
"To get something to eat."
"They'll feed you on the plane." I replied, getting back to my article.
"I don't want no fucking peanuts though. I want an actual meal. Just come with me."
"Fine then." I mumbled, already getting annoyed with him.
I got up, wanting to slap that damn smirk right off of his face.
"Hey, get me something too." Johnny said, stifling a yawn.
"Yeah, sure."
I pulled my hood over my head and stuffed my hands in my front pocket as me and Zacky took off towards a little food stand at the end of the hallway from where our gate was.
"Hey, wait for me."
I frowned slightly, turning to see Matt jogging slightly to catch up with us. He flashed me a half smile which faltered altogether when his eyes caught with mine. I dug my hands, if possible, deeper into my front pocket and lead our 'party' the rest of the way.
Matt and my brother had gotten into some sort of conversation about the tour as we came to a stop in front of the stand. I stood there, squinting at the menu boards they posted up above the counter, trying to figure out what I wanted. I let a yawn consume my body and I gave up trying to read the menu, deciding to get a hot dog.
I glanced at my watch while Matt and Zacky were still settling on what order and saw that our flight wasn't boarding for another two hours. Personally I didn't understand getting up at the butt crack of dawn to wait at the LAX for three hours just to hop a five hour flight across the country. But...here we were.
"Shit, hurry the fuck up." I mumbled just loud enough for the two douche bags standing on either side of me to hear.
"Geesh, cranky much?" Matt asked.
"Don't get her started." Zacky replied. "You of all people know not to get on her bad side." He added with a little laugh.
"Shut up."
I couldn't help but laugh a little as well, watching Matt's face turn bright red.
"Aww, don't worry about it Matt." I said. "We're past that now...We're like this." I said, holding up my hand to show him that my fingers were crossed.
A little smile stared to show on the corner of his lips.
"What? You don't consider us homies?" I asked, trying to sound hurt.
"Well, I guess we're cool." He said, finally flashing me a grin.
Matt's POV
I grinned down at Lauren, finding myself wishing that I could consider us more than just 'homies.' Ever since Johnny got me to admit that I liked her...She seemed to be all that I could think about. True, he only asked me yesterday but still.
She gave me a little smile in return but soon turned her gaze away as she went to give the dude her order. I bit my lip as I continued to stare at her, wishing I could turn my mere glance into touch as I ran my eyes up and down her body.
"Uh, I hope you're looking at that magazine stand." Zacky said, his voice tearing through the fantasies taking place inside my mind.
"Huh? What? Of course I am." I blushed, taking a sudden interest in the tats on my arm.
"Right...For now, I'm gonna convince myself to believe that." He said.
I took a chance and looked up at him to see a blank look on his face.
"Calm down man, I don't like her like that." I mumbled so only he could hear it.
He nodded his head to let me know that he believed me, while making me feel guilty at the same time because I was just lying through my teeth. But it wasn't anything big I was lying about...I mean, it's just a crush, right?
"Well we all know that I get a bottom bunk, no matter what." JB spoke up as we sat around by our gate, arguing already about who got which bunk.
"Wait a minute...You want a bottom bunk?" Lauren asked, giving him a confused look.
"Yeah...So when I come stumbling back to the bus I don't have to worry about falling down or whatever when I'm trying to get to my spot...If I end up on the floor can just roll into my bunk." He said, finishing the last part with a proud smile.
"Okay." She laughed. "Well, that makes sense I guess."
"So who are you bunking with Lauren?" Johnny asked suddenly. "You know you could always bunk with me."
"Fuck off Johnny, what do you think, we're stupid or something? Zacky said, shooting Johnny a dirty look.
"It was just a suggestion." He retorted, pouting slightly.
"Hey, you should pair Lauren up with Matt." Syn spoke up.
I wouldn't be surprised if the rest of the guys could see my heart beating furiously in my throat.
"We definitely know that nothing will happen then." He said, getting a laugh from everyone expect me, Johnny, and Lauren.
"I wouldn't be so sure about that." Johnny mumbled under his breath.
I don't think he meant for anyone to hear it beside himself but Zacky and I both snapped our heads in his direction, clearing indicating that we heard him.
"What was that?" Zacky asked, staring between me and Johnny.
"What? Uh, nothing, I didn't say anything." Johnny lied, trying his hardest to avoid eye contact with either one of us.
"Hmm." Zacky mumbled, standing up. "Matt, let's go check out what time our flights gonna be boarding." He said, motioning for me to join him.
"It says that we're-"
"Let's just go look." He said, a little more firmly.
"Eh, okay."
Luckily everyone else had gotten into a little game of Scattegories (hell yes we brought a road trip version of Scattegories) and didn't even notice that Zacky and I had taken off.
"Is there something going on between you and my sister?" Zacky asked once we were out of earshot of the gang.
"No." I said truthfully.
He nodded his head much like he did earlier.
"I ran into Alex the day before yesterday." Zacky said quietly. "And you'd never guess what he asked me."
I looked nervously over at Zacky. "Oh...W-what was that?"
"He asked if my sister was dating you...You have any idea why he'd ask that?" Zacky asked, almost as if he were daring me to come clean with him.
"U-uh...Well, I sort of told him that we were." I mumbled. "I just...I just said that without even thinking and...He just fucking...I hate that son of a bitch...I didn't mean anything by it."
"Matt...You're not attracted to her at all?"
"No." I lied.
"And if I decide to let her bunk with you," My heart had started to pound once again in my throat. "I can trust you not to try anything with her?"
"Yeah." I said casually.
"Alright man." He said. "But if you do try anything with her and end up hurting her physically, mentally, or emotionally...I will kick your fucking ass." He threatened.
"Dude, chill out. I'd never hurt her."
End of Matt's POV
"Okay, 'S.' Guitar gods. Who'd you put down Lauren?" Amber asked as we read through our answers.
"Slash, duh." I said.
"Brian?"
"Synyster Gates, bitches." He grinned, raising his hands in the air triumphantly.
"Uh...The thing said 'guitar gods.' Not 'dirty douche bags'." I smirked, getting everyone to laugh at my comment.
"Shut up." He mumbled, giving me the 'evil eye.'
"Alright, how bout you L-"
"Okay, we have our bunking arrangements settled people." Zacky said, cutting me off as he took a seat next to me; I didn't even notice he had left.
"What do you mean 'bunking arrangements'?" I asked. "It's sort of obvious that couples are bunking together, JB in the bottom bunk for obvious reasons, Johnny in the other due to his limited height, me in one of the top bunks, and Matt's bitch ass on the couch."
"Why do I have to kick it on the couch?" He protested, sitting on the other side of me.
"Because...You're not cool enough." I replied, grabbing my drink to take another sip of it.
"I-"
"You guys shut up. Lauren you almost had it expect Matt's gonna be joining you in that top bunk."
I coughed and sputtered some, spilling some of my drink down the front of my sweatshirt.
"W-what?" I asked, hoping that I heard him wrong.
"I said that you're bunking with Matt."
"Um...I could just sleep on the c-"
"Lauren, we have roadies you know...They're gonna be sleeping on the couches and you're gonna be bunking with Matt. Do you have a problem with that?" He asked, giving me a look that clearly said if did have a problem with it I was just gonna have to suck it up.
"No." I mumbled, frowning slightly as I turned back to my game.
"Good."
"Flight 8705 to New York City will now be boarding first class." A voice announced over the intercom.
"Hey, that's us." Amber said excitedly.
"We're in first class?" I asked, trying to get my mind off of the fact that tonight I would be sharing a very confined mattress with someone I was easily turned on by.
"Hell yes, we roll in style yo." Matt grinned, holding his hand out to help me out of my seat.
I hesitated for a couple of seconds before I took it in my own. I felt the shivers run down my body as his sheer touch sent fire to my skin. Damn, this was gonna be a long three months.
I stared up at Matt, begging him with my eyes to let my secret rest soundly with him. He sighed loudly, tearing his eyes from my stare, and looked down at my arm, unraveling the towel wrapped around it. Seeing that the bleeding had stopped, he tossed the towel aside, but continued to examine my arm, his eyes lingering on some seemingly insignificant scars.
"Lauren...How long?" He asked.
"I used to do it all the time." I mumbled, moving my fingers to the light scars scattered here and there on my arm. "When the drugs didn't work and the alcohol didn't last long enough...I would take my straightedge to myself."
I recoiled slightly as I felt his touch on my skin, turning my arm over so he could see the other side of it. His fingers gently ran along the scars just as mine had done only seconds before.
"Matt...I can't tell him." I mumbled, referring back to my brother.
"Why not?" He asked gently, removing his gaze from my arm to penetrate my eyes with his.
I shrugged my shoulders, not ready to admit that I was ashamed to tell my brother about my hidden habit.
"I just...Fuck, I don't know Matt." I said, sighing loudly to myself.
"Well...I suppose you'll tell him when you're ready to let him know." He said softly, letting my arm hang loosely back at my side.
*****
"Lauren, come with me."
I sighed, looking up from my magazine to my brother.
"Where to?" I asked.
"To get something to eat."
"They'll feed you on the plane." I replied, getting back to my article.
"I don't want no fucking peanuts though. I want an actual meal. Just come with me."
"Fine then." I mumbled, already getting annoyed with him.
I got up, wanting to slap that damn smirk right off of his face.
"Hey, get me something too." Johnny said, stifling a yawn.
"Yeah, sure."
I pulled my hood over my head and stuffed my hands in my front pocket as me and Zacky took off towards a little food stand at the end of the hallway from where our gate was.
"Hey, wait for me."
I frowned slightly, turning to see Matt jogging slightly to catch up with us. He flashed me a half smile which faltered altogether when his eyes caught with mine. I dug my hands, if possible, deeper into my front pocket and lead our 'party' the rest of the way.
Matt and my brother had gotten into some sort of conversation about the tour as we came to a stop in front of the stand. I stood there, squinting at the menu boards they posted up above the counter, trying to figure out what I wanted. I let a yawn consume my body and I gave up trying to read the menu, deciding to get a hot dog.
I glanced at my watch while Matt and Zacky were still settling on what order and saw that our flight wasn't boarding for another two hours. Personally I didn't understand getting up at the butt crack of dawn to wait at the LAX for three hours just to hop a five hour flight across the country. But...here we were.
"Shit, hurry the fuck up." I mumbled just loud enough for the two douche bags standing on either side of me to hear.
"Geesh, cranky much?" Matt asked.
"Don't get her started." Zacky replied. "You of all people know not to get on her bad side." He added with a little laugh.
"Shut up."
I couldn't help but laugh a little as well, watching Matt's face turn bright red.
"Aww, don't worry about it Matt." I said. "We're past that now...We're like this." I said, holding up my hand to show him that my fingers were crossed.
A little smile stared to show on the corner of his lips.
"What? You don't consider us homies?" I asked, trying to sound hurt.
"Well, I guess we're cool." He said, finally flashing me a grin.
Matt's POV
I grinned down at Lauren, finding myself wishing that I could consider us more than just 'homies.' Ever since Johnny got me to admit that I liked her...She seemed to be all that I could think about. True, he only asked me yesterday but still.
She gave me a little smile in return but soon turned her gaze away as she went to give the dude her order. I bit my lip as I continued to stare at her, wishing I could turn my mere glance into touch as I ran my eyes up and down her body.
"Uh, I hope you're looking at that magazine stand." Zacky said, his voice tearing through the fantasies taking place inside my mind.
"Huh? What? Of course I am." I blushed, taking a sudden interest in the tats on my arm.
"Right...For now, I'm gonna convince myself to believe that." He said.
I took a chance and looked up at him to see a blank look on his face.
"Calm down man, I don't like her like that." I mumbled so only he could hear it.
He nodded his head to let me know that he believed me, while making me feel guilty at the same time because I was just lying through my teeth. But it wasn't anything big I was lying about...I mean, it's just a crush, right?
*****
"Well we all know that I get a bottom bunk, no matter what." JB spoke up as we sat around by our gate, arguing already about who got which bunk.
"Wait a minute...You want a bottom bunk?" Lauren asked, giving him a confused look.
"Yeah...So when I come stumbling back to the bus I don't have to worry about falling down or whatever when I'm trying to get to my spot...If I end up on the floor can just roll into my bunk." He said, finishing the last part with a proud smile.
"Okay." She laughed. "Well, that makes sense I guess."
"So who are you bunking with Lauren?" Johnny asked suddenly. "You know you could always bunk with me."
"Fuck off Johnny, what do you think, we're stupid or something? Zacky said, shooting Johnny a dirty look.
"It was just a suggestion." He retorted, pouting slightly.
"Hey, you should pair Lauren up with Matt." Syn spoke up.
I wouldn't be surprised if the rest of the guys could see my heart beating furiously in my throat.
"We definitely know that nothing will happen then." He said, getting a laugh from everyone expect me, Johnny, and Lauren.
"I wouldn't be so sure about that." Johnny mumbled under his breath.
I don't think he meant for anyone to hear it beside himself but Zacky and I both snapped our heads in his direction, clearing indicating that we heard him.
"What was that?" Zacky asked, staring between me and Johnny.
"What? Uh, nothing, I didn't say anything." Johnny lied, trying his hardest to avoid eye contact with either one of us.
"Hmm." Zacky mumbled, standing up. "Matt, let's go check out what time our flights gonna be boarding." He said, motioning for me to join him.
"It says that we're-"
"Let's just go look." He said, a little more firmly.
"Eh, okay."
Luckily everyone else had gotten into a little game of Scattegories (hell yes we brought a road trip version of Scattegories) and didn't even notice that Zacky and I had taken off.
"Is there something going on between you and my sister?" Zacky asked once we were out of earshot of the gang.
"No." I said truthfully.
He nodded his head much like he did earlier.
"I ran into Alex the day before yesterday." Zacky said quietly. "And you'd never guess what he asked me."
I looked nervously over at Zacky. "Oh...W-what was that?"
"He asked if my sister was dating you...You have any idea why he'd ask that?" Zacky asked, almost as if he were daring me to come clean with him.
"U-uh...Well, I sort of told him that we were." I mumbled. "I just...I just said that without even thinking and...He just fucking...I hate that son of a bitch...I didn't mean anything by it."
"Matt...You're not attracted to her at all?"
"No." I lied.
"And if I decide to let her bunk with you," My heart had started to pound once again in my throat. "I can trust you not to try anything with her?"
"Yeah." I said casually.
"Alright man." He said. "But if you do try anything with her and end up hurting her physically, mentally, or emotionally...I will kick your fucking ass." He threatened.
"Dude, chill out. I'd never hurt her."
End of Matt's POV
"Okay, 'S.' Guitar gods. Who'd you put down Lauren?" Amber asked as we read through our answers.
"Slash, duh." I said.
"Brian?"
"Synyster Gates, bitches." He grinned, raising his hands in the air triumphantly.
"Uh...The thing said 'guitar gods.' Not 'dirty douche bags'." I smirked, getting everyone to laugh at my comment.
"Shut up." He mumbled, giving me the 'evil eye.'
"Alright, how bout you L-"
"Okay, we have our bunking arrangements settled people." Zacky said, cutting me off as he took a seat next to me; I didn't even notice he had left.
"What do you mean 'bunking arrangements'?" I asked. "It's sort of obvious that couples are bunking together, JB in the bottom bunk for obvious reasons, Johnny in the other due to his limited height, me in one of the top bunks, and Matt's bitch ass on the couch."
"Why do I have to kick it on the couch?" He protested, sitting on the other side of me.
"Because...You're not cool enough." I replied, grabbing my drink to take another sip of it.
"I-"
"You guys shut up. Lauren you almost had it expect Matt's gonna be joining you in that top bunk."
I coughed and sputtered some, spilling some of my drink down the front of my sweatshirt.
"W-what?" I asked, hoping that I heard him wrong.
"I said that you're bunking with Matt."
"Um...I could just sleep on the c-"
"Lauren, we have roadies you know...They're gonna be sleeping on the couches and you're gonna be bunking with Matt. Do you have a problem with that?" He asked, giving me a look that clearly said if did have a problem with it I was just gonna have to suck it up.
"No." I mumbled, frowning slightly as I turned back to my game.
"Good."
"Flight 8705 to New York City will now be boarding first class." A voice announced over the intercom.
"Hey, that's us." Amber said excitedly.
"We're in first class?" I asked, trying to get my mind off of the fact that tonight I would be sharing a very confined mattress with someone I was easily turned on by.
"Hell yes, we roll in style yo." Matt grinned, holding his hand out to help me out of my seat.
I hesitated for a couple of seconds before I took it in my own. I felt the shivers run down my body as his sheer touch sent fire to my skin. Damn, this was gonna be a long three months.