This Is a Reason for Broken Wings

Matt's POV
"Dude, I'm going back to the bus." I mumbled to Val as I stood up.

She shot me her 'evil eye' commanding me to sit back down but instead I took off walking towards our house on wheels.

"Matt, what the hells wrong with you?" She asked in an angry whisper, joggling slightly to catch up with me.

"Nothing, I just wanna don't feel like hanging out with them." I said casually.

I heard Val mumbling some incoherent words under her breath as she continued to walk by me.

"You could stay there if you want, I don't care." I said.

"No, just forget it."

"Suit yourself."

I didn't say anything else to Val the rest of the way. I stopped in front of our door to punch in the code, glancing sideways at Val to find she had a very unhappy expression on her face.

"What? I fucking said you could stay there." I snapped, getting irritated by her.

"Dude, what the hell's been with you lately?" She snarled, following me up the stairs after I flung open the door.

"Nothing." I mumbled.

"Bull shit, what the hell's going on inside that twisted little head of yours?"

What the fuck, 'twisted little head?'

"Just forget it Val."

"Fuck, I hate it when you act like this. You've been acting like this ever since we got-"

"Val, I don't want to be with you anymore." I blurted out.

Her mouth hung open, obviously caught off guard and at a loss for words.

"W-what?"

"I don't love you." I said, emphasizing each syllable. "I'm in love with someone else."

I swear you could hear a fucking feather fall to the ground with the silence that fell upon us.

"Who is she?" Val asked, trying her hardest to keep her voice steady even after the tears started to fall.

"Lauren." I whispered.

"What?!"

"I said I fucking fell in love with Lauren."

"Lauren?" She asked in disbelief; almost in disgust. "Lauren?!"

I felt the anger rising to my surface at the tone of her voice.

"What would possess you to fall for Lauren?! Matt, she don't know how to love for crying out loud!"

"Well, it's hard to control who you fall for Val."

"You don't know her like I know her; she'll end up breaking your heart."

"I think you're the one that don't know her." I said coldly.

"Matt, Lauren once put her own mother in the hospital, she does drugs as a hobby, she drinks her liquor like its water, and she walks all over people's feelings as if they were nothing more than dirt."

I shook my head, feeling the tears start to form in my eyes. That wasn't Lauren, at least not now. There may have been a point in time when that was, but that time has come and gone.

"I love her Val and nothing you say or do will make me change my mind." I stated.

"Matt, are you really willing to give up five years of a relationship for someone you've known for what, three months?"

"You didn't seem to think twice about it." I said harshly.

My words cut through Val's next argument, shutting her up for a few seconds.

"Fine." She said quietly. "Fine! Just go ahead and throw it all away! Everything we had ... And forget about everything we could have! I could love you Matt, I could give you everything you've ever wanted! All Lauren could give you is heartache and a cold shoulder."

"Well, right now the only thing you're giving me is a headache and as for Lauren only being able to give me heartache ... That's a gamble I'm willing to take."

Val stared at me, her eyes reduced down to dangerous slits. Suddenly she lashed out and slapped me across the face with everything she had, which wasn't very much, but it still stung.

"If things don't work out don't fucking come crawling back to me." She spat, turning on her heal and storming off out the door.

I didn't waste anytime in pulling out my cell and dialing Lauren's number in hopes to find out where she was. But then I heard something I definitely wasn't expecting to hear at all ... Ringing coming from somewhere behind me.

I swallowed down the lump that had risen in my throat and turned around, spotting Lauren watching me from the hallway. Damn ... that's definitely not the way I wanted it to work out.
End of Matt's POV

I stared at Matt, wishing that he'd say something so that I didn't have to search my mind for words to break the uneasy silence.

"L-Lauren?" He stuttered.

Okay, not exactly the way I wanted him to break the ice.

"Matt, earlier today when you said that you ... " I trailed off, choking on some tears. "You were talking about ... me?"

He nodded his head.

"I was gonna tell you then but ... " He trailed off, shrugging his shoulders. "And then you said to 'just tell her' so ... here I am."

"You're lying." I said blankly.

"No, Lauren ... It's true." He said, staring down at the floor. "Every word of what I said is true."

"Matt ... Don't." I whispered.

He eyes flickered a bit as if my words had stung up and hurt spread across his face.

"What?" He asked, breaking his gaze from the floor and walked slowly towards me.

"Don't love me because Val's right ... I can't give you love in return."

"No, don't say that Lauren, please don't fucking say that." He said, the color draining from his complexion as he came to a stop right in front of me. "I love you ... I've always loved you, I've just been too scared to tell you."

"Matt." I cried. "I fell for you before but you ended up breaking my heart ... You broke my heart before I even handed it over to you."

"W-what?" He stuttered, placing a hand on my cheek and attempted to wipe away my tears.

I closed my eyes and leaned into his touch.

"I had feelings for you Matt ... But when Val popped back into the picture those feelings got lost."

"No, Lauren. They didn't get lost ... t-they're still there, aren't they?"

I opened my eyes to find the tears running down Matt's face as well and shook my head.

"Matt I can't love you ... I'm not capable of love."

"B-but you just said that you had feelings for me." He whispered.

"I did ... but I cut them off." I sniffed.

"Lauren, please." He begged. "I love you so much ... I don't care that I've only known you for three fucking months."

He placed his free hand on the other side of my face.

"I fucking love you." He whispered.

"Matt, I'm sorry." I sobbed. "It's hurting me too ... but I can't. There's nothing left in my heart Matt, nothing."

"Lauren." He cried. "Obviously there's something left if it's hurting you this fucking much."

"Damn it Matt, I can't." I said, pulling myself away from him.

Taking one last look at his tear stained face, I shoved my way past him and ran towards the door, taking flight into the cool, summer evening. I didn't care if anybody saw the tears.

As they continued to fall, my cell started ringing in my pocket. I ignored it because I thought that it was Matt but then it started ringing again. Giving in I stole a glance at it and saw that it wasn't Matt but someone much closer to home.