Almost Lost It All

We all sit in silence. The only noise hitting our ears is Matt pounding down burgers harder than he needs to be and the sizzling of the grill. I know that we're all too confused to speak. We're all waiting for some kind of indicator that Jen is in trouble or that the intruder is gone again. Fear is almost strangling me. That guy was too dangerous-looking. He treated her like a piece of meat. There's no doubt in my mind that he's the one who hit her before. Her bruises are healed now but she's still terrified of him. The only thing stronger than the fear is the anger inside of me.

I want so badly to beat the shit out of Ethan. Pins and needles feel as if they're rushing through my veins. The growing fury is pricking me all over my body. He doesn't deserve to talk to her. He doesn't even deserve to look at her. My fingers curl into tight fists just thinking about her suffering at his hand. If she had stayed with me she would have never had to worry about that. She would be happy now. We'd all be happy now. Jen would be my wife and we might even have a family already. Pain accompanies the hate and hits against my ribs. I bite down hard on my lip to stay quiet.

This is taking too long. Something must be happening in there. I can't take the waiting.

As I turn toward the door, like clockwork, a blood curdling scream erupts from inside of the house. At once I'm running into the house, through the rooms, toward the screaming. I'm right behind Matt and everyone else is right behind me. I push away the complete horror when the screaming stops. Matt charges through the door of a room and takes hold of Ethan. He throws him to the ground. My eyes take in all of it at once. Ethan's pants undone, Jen crying and stumbling, her zipper broken. I let the rage fly throughout me. There's yelling but I have no idea what's being said. I don't even know what I'm saying. I'm blinded by my fury.

Before I know it we're outside. Ethan is up against his car. I don't stop hitting him. I can't stop hitting him. He deserves every punch, elbow, and kick we give him. He's trying to get away but he's pinned. I'm shaking more than I've ever shook before. Everything from my past is building up inside of me. All of the pain and the hate and the suffering is flowing through me, my fists, until it reaches his bones.

"Stop." A voice travels into our circle of violence and I feel hands trying to pull me away.

I don't want to stop. I should have to stop. Why am I being shoved away?

"Stop! Guys!"

None of us listen. The hands are no longer on me so I don't hold back anything.

"FUCKING STOP!"

A small body wiggles into the group and Jen is in front of Ethan, guarding him from harm. I stop myself just in time. If I hadn't been shocked so much into stumbling back then I would've hit her. When I look over at Matt, Johnny, and Zack, they're breathing heavily. They're just as surprised. Why is she protecting him?

"What are you doing?!" I yell at her.

Instead of cowering away she stands up tall, eyes burning a tough topaz blue.

"You'll kill him," she says seriously, "you don't want to do that."

I huff in disbelief at her mercy.

"Yes I do!" I shout.

Matt nods, "Gates is right. I do want to kill him." He says viciously.

Our other two friends nod, bloody fists clenched, eyes narrowed with hate. My chest heaves up and down with furious breathing.

"Move out of the way, Jen." I murmur dangerously.

All I want is my hands on Ethan again. All I want is to finish him. I've never felt this violent for a long time. I've never hated someone this much.

She looks toward the others as she speaks, "Are you gonna force me out of the way? What about after that? You gonna kill him and go to jail over this worthless fuck? Forget it. Calm down. Back the fuck up."

I can tell how furious Matt is but he begins to back up as he takes in her words. Zacky and Johnny follow suit. She's right. She's completely right but I can't let it go. I stand where I am. I watch every movement Jen makes. As soon as I find an opening I make my own move. My whole body shifts as my fist collides with Ethan's face. A sickening cracking noise surrounds everyone and I know that I've broken his cheekbone. He yells in pain before slumping completely. Pride fills my veins when I see that I've knocked him out. Jen catches him before he hits the ground and looks toward me. Her mouth opens so she can speak; nothing comes out. In one swift motion I turn and walk away from the scene, brooding the entire time. That felt good.