Melting On Ice

"What's the last name?” The nurse kept her eyes on the computer as she asked me this question.

I coughed awkwardly and looked around before answering her. “Kane.” Everything about hospitals made me sad. The boring white walls, the chill of the cranked air conditioning, the ugly red chairs in the lobby. It all brought back the childhood memories that I would like to block from my mind.

“And your sure that they are at this hospital?” Her glasses slid down her face as she looked up at me. She scrolled the computer screen one more time when I nodded.

“She's with me.” I froze when I heard Patrick's voice came up from behind me. He lightly grabbed my elbow as he nodded in my direction towards the nurse. She nodded back before he led me down the long white hallway. “Emma.” I stayed frozen as Patrick wrapped his arms around me when we were out of the nurse's sight. “You have no idea how happy I am to see you.”

I swallowed hard as I pulled back from him. “Is your grandfather alright?” I realized how dumb of a question it was after the words left my lips.

He shook his head as he rubbed his hand over his face. “I'm not sure. I've been waiting here for his nurse to come for about an hour.” He pounded his fist lightly in his other hand as we walked.

I hesitantly placed my hand on his back. I hated the tension between us. I hated feeling so uncomfortable around my best friend. “Patrick, I'm sure that he's going to be fine. They have a lot of patients to tend to.” I shuddered as a male nurse walked by with an empty gurney.

“I know, I know.” He slowed to a stop as we reached his room. “I just hate waiting.” I smiled sadly at him as he opened the door. “Hey grandpa.” Patrick peeked his head in at the motionless figure laying under the hospital sheets. “Did the nurse come yet?” He slowly shook his his head as Patrick led me inside. His eyes grazed over at me momentarily before he turned his attention to his grandson. “You remember Emma, right?”

I smiled and waved politely at him. “Of course.” He smiled. “How are you sweetie?”

I licked my lips and nodded. “Fine, I'm fine.”

He nodded again. “Did you eat?” Patrick asked as he sat down on the edge of the bed.

“Yeah, I had soup.” Patrick nodded in approval and I didn't point out the full bowl of soup on his nightstand that Patrick didn't seem to notice.

All three of us looked up when there was a knock on the door. “Patrick Kane?”

Patrick stood up quickly and met the nurse at the door. “I'll be right back.” I knew he was saying this to me even though he kept his eyes on his grandfather.

“Take your time.” I walked over to the edge of the bed and looked down at him awkwardly. “Not hungry?” I asked, gesturing to the soup bowl.

He laughed quietly to himself. “You busted me.” I smiled at him and sat down on the bed where he gestured. “Don't tell Patrick. He worries about me too much.” He lightly pat my leg as he spoke. “He's gonna have wrinkles before he's thirty.” I laughed with him. He studied me for a moment. “You're much prettier then Patrick gives you credit for.”

I blushed. “Um thanks?” I said hesitantly.

“Em,” Patrick stuck his head into the door momentarily. “Miranda wants to talk to you.” I walked out and grabbed his cell phone when he held it out for me.

“I'll be right back,” I told his grandfather and he nodded at me as I walked down the hall. “Hello?”

“Where are you?” Miranda's voice had a hint of hysteria when she spoke into the phone.

“Buffalo,” I said hesitantly. “Where are you?” I turned my eyes away as they wheeled a patient in a wheel chair past me.

“Chicago.” I crinkled my eyebrows in confusion. “What are you doing in Buffalo? You're not with Patrick are you? After everything he put you through?” I could hear the disappointment in her tone as she chided me.

“I'm not here for Patrick.” I sighed as I leaned back against the wall. “His grandfather is really sick so I came to visit him in the hospital.” I paused, waiting for her reaction. When she didn't give one, I continued. “Is something wrong?”

“I think we've been robbed.”

“What?” A couple of nurses glanced in my direction when I said this louder then intended. “Why? What's gone?”

“Like half of our apartment!” I felt myself blush when I realized what she was talking about. “I'm gonna call the police.”

“Don't!” I shrunk down against the wall again when Patrick turned in my direction from down the hall. “It was me.”

“What?” This time her tone wasn't afraid. It was ticked. “Emma, what did you do?”

“Okay,” I sighed as I attempted to think of a way to make what I was about to say sound logical. “Do you remember last year when you broke up with Marc?” I took her silence as a yes. She didn't really like to talk about it. “And how you went through the house and threw out everything that reminded you of him?”

“Oh god,” she sighed. “You didn't.” I blushed slightly as Patrick looked in my direction again. “Did you really have to get rid of the couch?”

“That's where we had our candle light date!” I felt myself shudder as I struggled not to cry at the ruined memories. “I had to.”

“You're insane!” She screamed and I'm pretty sure that everyone around me could hear her voice as I held the phone slightly away from my ear. “Totally and completely insane!”

“Okay, as much as I am enjoying being screamed at,” I said sarcastically into the phone as Patrick walked in my direction. “I have to go. I'll see you when I get back.”

“Emma, don't you dare-” I heard her threaten before I hung up.

“Everything okay?” I quickly ran my hand through my hair as Patrick walked up to me.

He shook his head slowly. “It doesn't look good, Em.”

I pulled him into my arms and he breathed heavily into my shoulder. “I'm so sorry Patrick.” I swallowed hard before asking, “what did the nurse say?”

“Pnumonia,” he mumbled into my shoulder. He took in a shaky breath before wrapping his arms around me tighter. “It's doesn't look good.” He repeated.

I lightly rubbed his back. “I'm here for you. I will always be here for you.”

* * *

“You leaving?” Patrick asked as he watched me repack my bag in the purple bedroom that they had let me stay in again.

“Yes,” I zipped up my suitcase and placed it on the floor next to me. “You grandfather is out of the hospital now. There is no reason for me to stay.”

I started to walk out the door but he blocked my path. “I'm not a good enough of a reason?” A smirk played lightly on his lips as he stretched his arms across the door way.

I attempted to push his arm down but he wouldn't let me. “You would be. But you ruined it.”

He flinched slightly as he lowered his arm. I pushed my way past him and he grabbed my wrist loosely. “Em, please listen.”

“What?” I snapped. “What are you going to tell me?” He ran his other hand through his hair as he examined my features.

“I need to fix this.” He gestured with his hand in between the two of us.

“You can't.” I said bluntly. “You can't change how you feel.”

He glanced over my shoulder to make sure that no one else was around. “Look, I just needed time to think okay? It was weird for me, seeing Lauren again.”

“Why?” I rolled my eyes as I attempted to pull myself from his grasp once again. “It's not like you guys ever had a real relationship.”

He sighed in frustration as he shook his head. “I knew that you wouldn't understand.”

“Your right,” I spat at him viciously. “I don't understand.” I could see his shoulders rising as he started to breath heavier. “Because it doesn't make any sense.” I pulled back when he loosened his grasp. “How could you seriously have to consider anything? I didn't see Lauren running halfway across the country for you. Lauren has never been there for you.” I paused before adding, “She doesn't love you.” He flinched slightly, making me feel a little guilty for saying that. “Not like I love you.” My voice cracked slightly as I added that.

His sad eyes met mine. “I'm sorry, okay? I don't know what you want me to say.”

“I want you to say that you love me back.” I clenched my fist at my sides and shook slightly. “I want you to say that you pick me.” My voice rose slightly and I caught a glimpse of Patrick's mother looking up at us on the balcony. “But you won't Patrick.” I flung my hand as I spoke. “You won't because you don't.” My breathing increased rapidly as tears started stinging in my eyes. “And I'm not going to torture myself by waiting around for you to make up your mind.” I grabbed my suitcase and started to descend down the staircase.

“Emma, please.” Patrick started to follow me down the stairs but I didn't turn around to see him.

“Emma,” Mrs. Kane grabbed my wrist as I opened their front door. “You don't have to go.”

I licked my lips as I looked over at her. “I'm sorry.” Her features saddened slightly as I walked out the door. “Thank you, for everything.” I reached over and hugged her tightly. I really didn't want to let go of her. Let go of the only mother figure I had ever had. But I did and I could feel Patrick watching me the entire time, including when I stepped out into the dark street.

“Let her go Patrick,” I heard his mother stop him as I exited the Kane residence. “Give her time.”

I ran out into the street and blinked rapidly when car lights flashed in my direction. “You really shouldn't walk alone at night,” I stood up and walked towards the sound of Jonathan's voice. “It's pretty dangerous. Especially for someone like you who is not exactly street smart.”

I walked over to his car. “What are you doing here?” I rubbed my hands over my eyes, in an attempt to dry them.

“I took a detour from Winnipeg.” I smiled slightly when he shrugged. I slowly slid into the passenger seat of his car. “You okay?” I shook my head sadly as he pulled away from their house. “I'm sorry.”

I shook my head and ran my fingers threw my hair. “I really don't understand.” He glanced over at me momentarily. “I mean, I have always been there for him.” My voice cracked slightly as I fought back tears. “What could he possibly see in her that he doesn't see in me?”

He sighed as he loosened his grip on the wheel. “I don't know.” He licked his lips and I felt his eyes on me as I looked out the window. “I honestly don't know.” I tucked my hair behind my ears and let my eyes drift over some late night joggers. “So what are you going to do?”

I shrugged. “Go home, I guess.” I sighed as I leaned back into his seat. “I don't know what else to do. But one thing is for sure,” he looked over at me when I didn't continue. “The first thing I am doing when I get back, is canceling my tennis lessons.”

He laughed as he slowed down at a red light. “Yeah, that probably wasn't Miranda's best idea ever. She must've forgotten that you are athletically challenged.”

“It's alright,” I smirked at him as I ignored his insult. “She seemed to be distracted.” I laughed when he blushed, adding more color to his normally red cheeks.

“Shut up,” he pushed me playfully as the color drained from his cheeks.

“Focus on driving,” I laughed as I pointed out to the road. “I'd rather not get killed.”

He kept a slight smile on his face as he swerved around the road to try and scare me. I laughed until he calmed down and drove straight again. He sighed as he lightly rested one arm around my shoulders. “He'll come around, Em. I promise.”