Oh, I Never Meant to Cause You Trouble

“Guess who has a date!” Sadie screamed, running down the steps to where Lilly and I were waiting by her car.

Lilly beamed, “You?”

“YES!” Sadie squealed, although exasperated from the trek it took to get from the school to the parking lot. I smiled widely, it was hard to be happy for someone who thinks they’ve found their love, when I can’t have mine at all. Besides, if Grant lets one word slip about our conversation- I’m dead.

As I thought, Lilly and Sadie we’re already in the car, discussing pictures and what restaurant to go to.

“Uh- Gem? Coming or what?” Sadie yelled from the driver’s windows. With slight embarrassment, I threw my bag in the back and got in.

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“Does this one make me look fat?” Lilly posed as we fumbled with our zippers of our own dress options.

“Lil, its humanly impossible for anything to make you look fat,” I smiled as she studied herself in the mirror. Sadie- being the most low maintenance when it came to clothes, has already picked an understated yet gorgeous dress that was a fitted silk dress in a striking shade of purple.

As Sadie tried to convince Lilly that the dress she was wearing looked ‘fabulously-couture’, I stepped into what I thought of as a dream dress.

And I was right.

Although I was a mere 5 foot and 6 inches, the dress elongated my frame, the teal and gold Monet style design illuminating my golden tanned skin and sending me in some sort of trance. This was the dress, and I was sure of it.

The back and forth between them stopped. “Oh, wow Gem,” Sadie murmured.

I grinned, I have never been this lucky when it came to finding a dress. Sure, there have been many okay ones and some unfortunate fashion mistakes- but this, was the mother of all dresses. “This is so unfair that you don’t have a date,” Lilly whined, checking the price tag of the cute green number she was holding for herself.

Tears welt up in my eyes, and I don’t know why. I turned around and gave a weak smile, “I don’t really mind.” Their faces softened as they saw my tears. Sadie wrapped her arms around me, Lilly doing the same as I clutched onto them.

I didn’t know what made me more upset- the fact that I was going to my senior homecoming alone, the fact that the one guy I like is completely off limits, or the fact that I have to lie to my friends about why I’m so upset.

It’s really a draw between the three.

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Sadie and Lilly decided that I was depressed so they dragged me to a movie that night and sympathized with everything I said. Dropping me off at my house, Lilly stuck her head out the window, “don’t forget, at noon we’re doing nails and hair at Salon 130!” I gave a short wave and, with my Monet dress in an arm, opened the door, which wasn’t locked.

“Hello?” there was no answer. All the lights in the main floor were on, some HGTV show on the television, my Mom’s favorite. “Mom?”

Walking to the counter, I picked up a note;

Gem and Elle,
Your Father and I have gone out to dinner with the Hablitzels, very last minute might I add. Anyways, I ordered a pizza for the two of you and we’ll be back around eleven.

Love, Mom

No kidding is it last minute. I looked to the clock, 10:00. Well they’ll be home soon enough. Realizing how starved I was, I opened up the pizza hut box sitting on the island. It was empty, only remnants of cheese and a circle of grease was left. My eyebrows crinkled together, there was no way Elle could eat an entire pizza by herself.

I tip toed to the foot of the stairs, peering up the railing. Where was she?
As I was about to take a step upstairs I heard something- a gagging noise from the bathroom we share. Walking as quietly up the wooden stairs as I could, I turned the corner and the bathroom door was slightly open, Elle was sitting on the ground, her face looking sickly as she silently cried.

“Elle?” I silently walked over, pushing the door open a little more. For a second she looked scared but as I fell to my knees she curled up to me. The stench from the toilet was enough to know what happened.

“I-I just want to be perfect,” Elle sobbed mercilessly. “Pretty girls are thin.” I shut my eyes tightly. How could I’ve not seen it? The way she’s been completely ignoring me was a way of her isolating herself from the people who truly cared for her well being.

Stroking her hair, I quieted her, “Elle you are perfect, you’re the most beautiful sister I could ask for,” well that made her shake even harder, her tears beginning to soak my shirt.
“You h-have to say that, you’re my sister.”

I sat up a little and picked her up by her arms. “Now look at me,” her glassy eyes looked through mine and I ignored the fact that vomit outlined her lips and her hair looked thin. “You are Elle Young, and no one else is. So be you, not one of the airbrushed celebrities or those ridiculously small freshman girls that would kill for your curves.” Elle couldn’t help but smile a little, I grabbed a washcloth and wiped off her face.

For an hour we sat on my bedroom floor, giggling about past childhood memories and what we loved about each other. Friendship is a gift that sisters don’t value as much nowadays, but the Young sisters sure still do. I combed her hair and helped her decided how to wear her hair for tomorrow, letting her borrow one of my old dresses, because the one she had bought is now too big on her.

It broke my heart when she tried on the dress, I was so blind I didn’t see that her bones are much more visible now, and there’s a sickly air about her complexion I cannot quite place. Masking what I felt, I smiled widely, “you look completely stunning.”

I heard the door open, then close. “Home!” My Dad boomed. I heard them climb the stairs and they walked to my bedroom as Elle and I looked at them innocently.

The deal with my parents- they cannot handle emotion, not even their own feelings. Which is why we don‘t tell them anything. This house is so quiet even when we’re all here, and as we keep to ourselves, all the warmth a house should have, flies out the door.

“How was dinner?” I asked politely as Elle stood awkwardly by my closet.

My Mom looked at me blankly, “oh it was fine- you know, same old neighborhood drama.” she turned to Elle, “is that one of Gemmy’s dresses?” Elle nodded slowly, “well,” she paused a second, then plastered a fake smile, “it looks quite nice."

“Thanks,” Elle mumbled as she crossed her arms. Mom looked to Dad as if to play the innocence game. Dad didn’t buy it, leaving her standing in the doorway as he went to their room.

“So, did you get a dress,” she wandered he way inside, her heels making a clacking noise.

I nodded to the dress hanging on the closet door, “why yes I did.”

She turned and her eyes widened, “Gemma, its gorgeous!” she stood up and studied it, “I bet you look divine in it.” I said nothing, as much as I hated to admit it, Mom always seemed to favor me over Elle, not that I liked it though. “Well goodnight dear, sleep well.” she air kissed my cheek- something she’s been doing ever since the Paris trip from summer. Turning to Elle, she hugged her lightly, then held onto her hands, studying her face, “You may want to put some cream on before bed, your eyes look a little puffy.”

Elle gave her a toneless look, “I’ll get right on that Mom, goodnight.” Our Mother flurried out of the room in the gracious manner she always does and I gave a fretful look to Elle.

“Don’t worry about Mom, she’s just- Mom.” I smiled weakly. I took three steps to close the space between us and hugged her tightly.

“I don’t know how much I can take,” she whispered.

I closed my eyes before a tear could leave, “You have to promise me something.”

I heard a slight pause, “anything.”

“Stop.” That was all I said, and all that needed to be said. We pulled apart and she nodded quickly before walking to her room.

But before she left, Elle turned her head back around. She tucked a loose strand of blonde hair behind her ear and in a quiet voice uttered, “I promise. Really.”