Hush

At last, the pattern of your breathing finally steadied. Does that mean you're okay now? Did the hurt finally flutter away, even just a teensy-weensy bit? Oh, how I hope it did. I really do. It's my one simple wish—for you to be all right. I just want you to be okay more than anything else in the world.

Your eyes are beginning to close. Did I ever tell you how pretty they are? If I didn't, then I want you to know that they're truly the most beautiful things I've seen, ever. I'd scream it to the world, and to the heavens too, and if you like, until every single ear is deaf enough.

That lucid and melting flavor of honey under those fluffy lashes, the golden flecks they give off that burn brighter than sunsets, those sparkles that twinkle every star to their dimming shame - I feel really lucky whenever I see myself in those. They're still a bit swollen, puffy and blistering about, by those last drops of tears you poured onto me a little while ago. Oh but don't worry, it didn't lessen their brilliance at all.

By the way, I also want you to know that your girlfriend - no, ex - is the most stupid girl in the world. I mean really, leave someone, like you? Seriously, what a dummy. Heck, she's dumber than a dummy. What kind of kooky chemical had gotten inside her head that made her leave you, anyways?

Now your upper lashes are fully entwined with those at the bottom. That's good. Just rest those eyes to sleep, love. Sleep them away from those pesky, pesky tears. Several droplets had stubbornly cascaded down to your squeaky-clean shirt, and look, even my sleeves had been soaked by those. No, no, it's not about those tears, I've just, you know, I've never seen you cry before.

But now you're quiet, your head safe and sound on my lap with your body stringing out loosely on the bench. We used to always come here, remember? Now it's only the two of us again, and the whiff of ginger-colored autumn and serenity resonates around us now, ticklish on my senses. I hope it's pleasing yours, too. Oh, and the sun's embracing us, love. Isn’t that sweet of it? And I just saw three crumbly and crinkly leaves waltz down from that old willow tree to the ground near where we are. They look like old parchments cloaking love letters, don't they?

Want me to get them for you? Oh, I would, I would.

I look down and away from all them, because all I want is to hold your hands that are curled underneath your jaw and play with your fingers, all lovely. I want to straighten out your shirt and feel your heart beating, your chest heaving in and out. But I really, really don't want to disturb and wake you up. I've just never seen anything so peaceful. So beautiful. They might be right—a knee makes a good pillow when you're down, after all.

Your lips just moved to say her name. Are you dreaming? About her, I guess. It's fine. Your voice, your celestial sound of velvet, a soothing lullaby, it's enough for me to just hear it.

My butt is hurting now. And my thighs. And my tummy. My heart? I don't know. It's kind of hurting too. Okay, it's hurting more than a lot. But it's getting numb and numb as seconds passed, and besides, I don't want to move—I might wake you up. And that's okay; I'm willing to take in things like this for you, as always.

Oh. My own tears are falling again. Stupid, stupid tears. But don't worry about me, I'm used to it - they're the ones to take out the pain whenever I can't hold things in anymore anyway. I'm fine, I'm fine. Just sleep peacefully now. You're fine. She's not here. I'm right here now, and she's not going to hurt you anymore. She doesn't deserve you.

And one more thing, did she ever really felt for you, anyways?

Because in my case...

...I do.

I really do.