Hush - Comments

Congrats again, this story placed second in my contest!

(Another introduction.) Sup! I'm from Heart Ache Contest. Never finished. But here I am.

This is probably one of my favorite. It's beautifully done and I love how you don't have dialogue but the thoughts are crystal clear. It's ah-mazing. Nice job!

I like this. I mean, even though don't know who those kids are, or how they got there, I felt like I almost know the whole story. If that makes sense. It was a nice length, straight and to the point. The wording was simple, and yet... poetic? I think that's the word.

Anywayss. I think this was a good story, and I hope you do well in your conests.

I am sooo sorry that I didn't see your entry in time. But, this story is amazing. The detail is incredible and the fact that you didnt use names at all made it easily relate-able. I honestly loved everything about this story.

*bows down* You used correct grammar!
*cries* Thank God!!!
Anyways, on to the real review:)
I like the fact that you didn't use names at all. And the detail you put in was amazing.
I love how you described his eyes as "That lucid and melting flavor of honey under those fluffy lashes, the golden flecks they give off that burn brighter than sunsets, those sparkles that twinkle every star in the galaxy to their dimming shame"
That was just...mindblowing. I love that you used an entire paragraph to talk about someones eyes. It was surprising, but it made me happy that you actually used details instead of adding random sentences to get up to the word limit.
If you feel the need to make any changes, you can. I will re-read it on the ending day of the contest anyways:)