89.4 Zombie Radio

Brock, Dr.Grant and Jack all came out of the house to meet us in the driveway. The look on their faces was less than enthusiastic. They looked concerned about something, and just looking at them had me worried. What happened while we were gone? It didn't take Roxy long to cut right to the chase and ask. You had to respect her for that.

"Alright, so what the fuck happened?" Roxy asked. "You three looked like somethings about to fuck you in the ass, so let's hear it."

"Well, its not so much something major happened, its more like something is... Well..." Dr.Grant interrupted Brock before he could finish explaining.

"We're worried about Trevor. A few days ago, Aiden and I saw he was itching a mosquito bite. I started thinking about a few things, mainly malaria. Malaria is basically a parasite, much like the one we're dealing with, and its often spread by mosquitoes. So, I started to keep a close eye on Trevor, and noticed he was starting to exhibit the opening stages of the parasite. Mainly flu-like symptoms, and he's doing very well to hide them from the rest of us. Now, this could be anything, and I don't want to jump to conclusions quite yet, but, I think we need to keep a very close eye on this situation."

"Holy shit! Old dude got fucked up by a mosquito! Damn! Now I gotta be careful of that bull shit too! Man, this shit is fucked up!" Kwame shouted.

"Keep it quiet Kwame, we don't even want him to know he's being watched," Jack explained. "If he knows we're watching him, he might get scared and... Shit I don't know. This whole situation is just crazy."

I say we ditch that mothahfuckah! Fuck that shit! I don't need some mothahfuckah all tryin' to eat my ass while I'm tryin' to sleep and shit! I like my ass ya'll!" Kwame exclaimed.

"Kwame! I say we ditch your ass if you don't shut the fuck up! Didn't Jack just tell you to keep it down!" Roxy yelled. "Jesus fucking Christ man! We're not leaving him until we're absolutely sure that's what it is. Fuck, now we're all gonna be paranoid as fuck when somebody gets sick! As much as I hate that fucking asshole, I'm not that cold blooded."

"You're position is the same as ours Roxy," Dr.Grant said. "We have to make one hundred percent sure, and then we'll make a decision."

"So we're following the rules we made up before about this right?" Lucas asked. "If we think he's going to turn, we can give him the option to leave or..."

"Or we ask him if he wants us to kill him. Yea, that's still in effect Lucas," Jack replied. "Okay, so right now, we're just going to pretend nothings wrong. We all go back in there, gather up the troops, and take off. Somebody's going to have to start staying up to watch him too. We have to be extra careful now."

"This fucking pisses me off," Roxy added.

"This certainly is one hell of an introduction," Dylan said as she lit a cigarette. "Who the fuck am I supposed to be looking out for?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, who are you? We haven't been introduced. I'm Jack, its nice to meet you..."

"Dylan, nice to meet you too... I think."

"Dylan, its nice to meet you, and forgive me if I come off a bit rude, but... Smoking is very, very hazardous to your health. You are aware of that right?" Dr.Grant asked.

"Who the fuck are you? The surgeon general? You know what else is hazardous to your health? Fucking zombies, and right now from the sound of it, you've got one hanging out inside!" Dylan replied.

"I'm sorry Dylan... You're right. It was rude of me... Its just I'm a doctor, and... Have you seen the inside of a smoker's lungs?" Dr.Grant asked.

"Somebody want to tell this douche bag to shut the fuck up before I get really pissed!?" Dylan shouted.

"Whoa! Damn home girl! Calm down! Its all gravy baby! Chill!" Kwame replied. Carter came running out of the house with a smile on his face. For once it looked like somebody had good news.

"Guys! The radio! Bob just called in!"

We all rushed inside to catch the end of Bob's radio message. He and Dalton were okay, and they rescued the girls. Apparently Bob and Layla were together, and Jessie was about to marry Dalton. I couldn't help but be happy for Jessie. I was glad the little scene girl, who always seemed to have some sort of new guy problem finally found her man. It sounded like everything was going well on their end and we all were a bit relieved. We all celebrated in our own way, all except Trevor, who seemed indifferent about the entire incident. Nothing looked out of the ordinary about him right now, but I had only seen him for five minutes. If Dr.Grant noticed something wrong, I believed him. I looked into the quietest corner of the room and saw my girl. Staring me down, and waiting for me to find her. It reminded me of when we first met, except in those days, it was me watching her.

I walked over to her, and wrapped my arms around her. Celeste and I never needed to say anything to each other. It always seemed like we understood one another without having to say a word. I learned long ago her and I were made for one another, there was no girl on the planet for me other than her. Some guys may call that mushy, and I would tell those guys they're just jealous. We held each other, and everything around us seemed like it wasn't there. I was glad to be back in her arms again. I think this was the longest we had been apart actually.

"Well, are we all ready to get the fuck out of here? This place gives me the creeps after that whole baby killing incident," Roxy said.

"Whoa! You guys killed a baby!? That's some fucked up shit!" Dylan shouted.

"Well, it was more like Aiden over there killed the baby," Dean said.

"Oh thanks, its not like I don't feel horrible about it or anything," I replied.

"Damn dude, that's hardcore as fuck! Maybe you're not such a douche bag after all," Dylan told me.

"Thanks... I think... I'm ready to leave as long as everyone else is. Should we maybe give them a call back? Let them know where we are or something?" I asked.

"I'll call them on the way or some shit," Roxy replied. "Can we please just leave?"

Everyone gathered up what we needed and we all crammed back onto the bus. For once it actually felt good to be stuffed in there with everyone else. A few hours of driving and we passed the zombie bear. Roxy and Dylan told the epic story of how we killed it, and it helped pass the time. We reached the gas station where Dylan said she had walked to and from, and all got out to stretch our legs again. Jack filled up the tank, and a few extra reserve gas cans. We were well stocked for the trip now, and we took off down the road. A few more hours down, and the boredom on the bus was mounting. Slowly the conversations got odder, until we hit sort of peek in the strangeness.

"Okay, I'm seriously bored," Dylan announced to the bus. "This game always used to keep us entertained at parties. Okay, if you were forced to go gay for someone, who would it be? You have to answer, and it has to be a legit answer. You're forced at gun point, and no dodging the question by saying you'd just get shot. That's bull shit. So, let's do it. I'll even go first. I'd go lez for Hayley Williams in a heartbeat. She even has my bad ass sense of style, I think its an obvious choice."

"Naw man, fuck this game! I ain't playin' this bull shit!" Kwame protested.

"Just for that Kwame, you get to go next," Dylan informed him. All eyes turned to Kwame, who was now cussing under his breath, and trying to think of a way out of the question.

"Fuck... Rosie O'Donnell!" He exclaimed.

"Rosie O'Donnell is a chick Kwame!" Roxy scolded.

"Well shit! I'd have to be gay to be into her! That's a good fuckin' answer! Shit!" Kwame shouted back.

"Nope, it has to be a guy Kwame. Remember, your forced at gunpoint. Your dick is going in an asshole, and vice versa, so pick which one you want it in, and who you want it from," Dylan replied.

"This is fucked up ya'll!... Does Lady Gaga count!? I heard she was a dude!" Kwame answered.

"Nope, doesn't count. For all we know she's a chick," Dylan said.

"I'm pretty sure Lady Gaga is female," Roxy added.

"Man, fuck... Can they be dead?" Kwame asked.

"Well... Considering everyone is sort of a zombie now, I don't see why not," Dylan answered.

"Then Biggie Smalls for sho! That mothahfuckah's so big, he'd get tired of fuckin. Sounds like a mothahfuckin' plan to me," Kwame said.

"Alright, who's next?" Dylan asked.

"I'll go," Roxy replied. "I'd go gay for Megan Fox... She's pretty hot, I'll admit it."

"We're just going down the line now, see how this passes the time? And we learn so much about everyone," Dylan explained as she pointed to Lucas. "Your turn dude, who you bangin'?"

"George Lucas," Lucas replied without even hesitating.

"What!? George Lucas!? Why the fuck would you want gay sex with George Lucas!?" Dylan asked, almost offended at Lucas' answer.

"Because he made Star Wars, the sexiest damn movies ever made," Lucas explained.

"Okay... To each their own I guess... Onward... You driving, we're on you," Dylan said, referring to Jack.

"Me? Wow, this is pretty hard... I don't watch a lot of movies... Johnny Depp is a handsome guy, I'd go with him, why not?" Jack answered.

"Okay, alright, your turn surgeon general," Dylan said as she pointed to Dr.Grant. I wasn't sure how Dr.Grant would reply to this. He was actually gay, and I halfway wondered if Dylan was offending him. He cracked a smile, and made it look like he was pained to respond.

"This is a tough choice, but I'd go for Gerard Butler," Dr.Grant answered.

"You made it sound like you had multiple choices there," Dean said. Dr.Grant looked like he was starting to sweat, and turned red at Dean's comment. Dylan quickly moved on to her next victim, who just so happened to be Dean.

"Alright dog boy, who are you going gay for?" Dylan asked Dean.

"Shit... Never really thought about it before... I guess I'd go for Jared Leto. He seems like a pretty handsome guy," Dean answered.

"I've heard that guy is an asshole," Roxy said. "...On second thought, you two have a lot in common Dean."

Dean flicked Roxy off, and they both laughed. Dylan was already asking the next person her now infamous question. I will admit, it was interesting, and the wheels were turning in my head as to who I would choose. My turn was soon approaching. Carter was up next, and he stroked his chin trying to think of who he'd go with.

"I might go with a young David Beckham," Carter answered. "I sort of worshiped him as a kid growing up in England, so... Yea, that's my choice."

"Alright girlfriend, its your turn," Dylan said as she pointed to Riley.

"I don't know, can we just skip me? I don't want to answer this," Riley replied.

"Pull the fucking stick out of your ass and lighten up, its just a stupid question, we're not taking it seriously," Roxy told her.

"Oh I gots to hear this shit," Kwame said as he edged up in his seat.

"I don't know... Paris Hilton is pretty hot for a girl I guess," Riley answered. "But its weird to say that, because I've actually met her a few times."

"That's cool," Dylan replied. "There, that wasn't so hard now was it? Okay, who's next?... Ah, its your turn Mr... Aiden wasn't it? I forget, because you hardly ever say shit."

"Its Aiden," I informed her. "After giving it some thought, I've decided I'd go gay for Jesus. If it somehow saved the world, I'd go gay for Jesus. Even if I knew he was full of shit, I'd still probably do it, just in case he wasn't lying."

"That's... By far one of the most interesting choices I've ever heard... Okay, on to your girlfriend. Spill it missy!" Dylan commanded. Celeste turned about five shades of red, and couldn't stop giggling. This sort of thing had never been her strong point. Normally I'd answer for her, but I knew Dylan wouldn't accept my answer.

"...Scarlett Johanson was pretty... I pick her," Celeste finally managed to squeak out.
"Okay! I think that's the first time I've ever heard you talk dude! Brav-Fucking-Oh!" Roxy shouted. Celeste turned redder and hid her face behind me, still giggling away. It was now Brock's turn, and all of our attention was turned towards him.

"Spill it Brock! This one I gotta hear!" Roxy yelled.

"Ah shit... Christian Bale, that guy's a bad ass," Brock answered.

"I wish we could ask the dog who he'd go gay for," Dean said. "Maybe we can, hey Nimel! What dog are you having gay dog sex with!?"

Nimel started to bark at Dean, it was like he actually had an answer for the question.

"I heard Lassie, did anyone else hear that?" Dean asked.

"I think Nimel has a bit more class than that Dean," Roxy replied.

"So the Taco Bell dog then?" Dean asked.

"Way more class than that," Roxy answered. "We'll never know I guess... I wish we could read his cute doggie brain."

Nimel barked some more, and then went back to sitting on Dean's lap. Nimel gave Dean one big, wet dog kiss on the cheek, and Dean cussed him out, before both of them calmed back down. Trevor was the last one to be asked, and he looked less than thrilled about answering.

"Alright Trevor, take your pick," Roxy said. Trevor stood up from his seat and looked around at all of us. His face was intense as ever, and the demeanor in the room quickly got serious. I think all of us were a little worried he was about to turn right there, and we all were ready for it, just in case.

"Seriously... Fuck all of you. I'm not answering this fucking question, and you can all go to fucking hell. You know what? I'd fuck all of your dads, in their asses right in front of you, just to shut you all the fuck up. I don't find this shit funny. I don't find this shit cute, and I can tell your all fucking watching me for some reason. When I figure out why, I swear to God, I will not be a happy fucking camper."

"Chill the fuck out man, nobody's watching you," Roxy said. "We're just passing time. Somebody's a little uncomfortable with their sexuality aren't they?"

"No, not at all. I'm just fucking sick of all of you," Trevor replied. "So shut the fuck up, leave me alone, and stay the fuck away from me, you fucking fagots."

"Trevor, you need to check your fucking tone. Talk to me like that again and I'll..." Trevor cut Roxy off before she could finish her threat.

"Or you'll what!? Kick my ass!? You won't do fucking shit!" Trevor shouted.

"Yo dog, you better for real watch yo self man, Roxy don't fuck around... I learned that shit the hard way," Kwame said.

"She hits like a fucking truck," Dylan added. "I've beaten a few dudes asses in my time, and they don't come close to her!"

"Listen to them Trevor, and calm the fuck down. Just because Bob whooped your ass and your a fucking paranoid asshole, doesn't mean you can be a complete and total dick," Roxy told him.

"Fuck Bob! Fuck Layla! Fuck Jessie! And fuck that other little fruit basket with them! Bob landed a cheap shot! A cheap fucking shot! I can't wait for round two of that shit! You have no fucking idea! I'll keep dealing with you fucking pieces of shit until he comes back. Now I'm especially excited to fuck him up right in front of all of you and especially his little bitch!" Trevor screamed. We were all a little afraid to approach him. It was hard telling what he was capable of. Was this a side effect of the parasite? Did it make people turn into this? Or was Trevor really filled with that much hatred right now? It really could go either way, and we all knew it. Dr.Grant decided to step in and defuse the situation, just like he always did.

"Okay, enough Trevor. Just... Just shut up. We're all sick of hearing it. If you really hate us all that much, we'll stop and you can leave. Just say the word, and its done. If not, then just... Try to let it go. We need each other to survive. You know that and I know that. So just breath in, and try to calm down. If you really need this second chance to fight Bob, then we'll deal with it when the time comes. If that's what will calm you down, then I hate to say, I'm all for it. Settle it like men, and then drop it. I speak for us all I think when I say that, because I don't know about you, but I'm sick of hearing about this."

"Whatever," Trevor replied before turning to look out the window. Roxy started to get up, but Dr.Grant caught her, and calmed her down with a few words. The bus got quiet once more, and we drove in almost complete silence for a good half an hour. Slowly it got back up to volume, as we all forgot minute by minute Trevor's tirade. Another hour down, and it was official, we were out of the state of Ohio, and into the state of Kentucky. Another hour's worth of driving, and it was starting to get dark, so we stopped at a house on the side of a mountain, and decided to rest up for the night. It had been a long, eventful day for all of us.

"Shouldn't we call the station and tell Bob where we're at?" Jack asked Roxy, as we made our way into the house and started looking around.

"Let's make sure nothing's here first, and then yea, I'll call in," Roxy answered. It didn't take long before Nimel started barking at something. I heard Dean shouting something too, and we all hurried to where he and Nimel were. Nimel was growling at another dog, a rottweiler. Dean was trying to talk both dogs down, but I trusted Nimel. There seemed like there was something off about this dog. The rottweiler leaped at Nimel, and Jack shot it down in mid air.

"Do you think the dog was..." Dean started to say.

"Infected? Fuck yea I do. I know Rottweilers are mean as shit, but they don't usually drool blood all over the place either. Did you see that shit?" Roxy asked.

"No, I was too busy trying to hold Nimel off," Dean replied. "Zombie animals... This is just fucking great."

"First a zombie bear, now we have zombie dogs to worry about, for once we agree Dean, this is fucking great," Roxy said. " I can't kill fucking zombie dogs either! They're too fucking cute! What the fuck is next?"

Nobody got a chance to answer, as the family up the hill must have heard the shot Roxy fired, and came charging to the house, pressing themselves against the back door. Jack and Roxy finished the family off with a few shots, and the family that was in the house finally came out of hiding from behind. Lucas swung the morning star he had been dying to use, and completely missed the one he was aiming at. He dropped it at the end of his swing, and flung the morning star into his foot. He hollered out in pain, while Jack and Roxy turned to finish the rest off with a few more quick shots.

"See Lucas! We tried to fucking tell you! We all tried to fucking tell you! You were going to hurt yourself with that fucking thing! Give it to me, we're leaving this fucking thing here!" Roxy scolded.

"Well... We should keep it, maybe we'll find somebody who won't kill themselves with it," Jack replied.

"Fine, but Lucas is not to touch this fucking thing," Roxy said. "How's your foot?"

"It hurts," Lucas answered in obvious pain.

"Good, I'm glad," Roxy replied. Lucas plopped down on the living room couch and Dr.Grant checked out his foot.

"I think you broke your toe Lucas. You'll be fine, its just going to hurt pretty bad for a while. You're lucky its not anything worse than that," Dr.Grant said.

"Can you believe this shit though!? Zombie dogs!" Dean exclaimed. "I hate dogs enough already!"

Nimel barked in response, and started to lick Dean in the face. I couldn't help but love Nimel. He was the next best thing to having Jessie around.

"Zombie bears, zombie dogs, what's next? Zombie cats?" Roxy asked.

"Zombie tigers, zombie parrots... zombie snakes, zombie gorillas, zombie giraffes would suck, they could bite you from far away..." Brock said, adding to Roxy's list of fears.

"Well, it sounds like we need to stay away from zoos too," Jack replied. "Should we call the station before the night's over with Roxy?"

"Oh yea, thanks for reminding me," Roxy said as she got out Riley's phone and dialed the number. Carter got the radio and tuned into the station so we could all hear the conversation. Within a few rings, DJ Double Tap had cut off the song playing and Roxy was on the air.

"Hello! You've got DJ Double Tap on the line!"

"Its Roxy again DJ, how's everything going over there?"

"Not too bad Roxy, DJ Double Tap's been gathering his supplies recently. I've been getting around on the rooftops with a ladder I found in the maintenance closet. Its... Kind of sketchy, but I trust it more than I trust traveling on the street. That's my advice for the day folks! I heard from..."

"I know, we heard him call in. Good to know they're alright. I'm still pissed off at him, but I'll get over it when I punch him in the dick. Anyways, tell him we're in Kentucky now, I'm not sure of the exact location. Just let him know that for me, and ask him where the fuck he is. Tell him he better get here soon too. I've killed a zombie bear, Jack killed a zombie dog, and if I kill another zombie animal before he gets here, I'm gonna flip the fuck out! Let him know that for me."

"Zombie animals Roxy!? That sounds crazy! Hey everyone out there! Before you pet Lassie, make sure he's not a zombie! More DJ Double Tap advice! Anyways Roxy, I will pass that on to Bob for you, anything else?"

"Yea, congratulations to Jessie and Dalton for tying the knot, and hopefully they have better luck than my folks did. Oh, and tell Bob he better watch Layla too. If she gets hurt, I will fucking kill him. Okay, I'll let you get back to... Whatever it is you're doing DJ, have a good one bro."

"You too Roxy, DJ Double Tap will talk to you later!"

They both hung up the phone and we all started to find where we were going to sleep for the night. A few more hours went by, and it seemed like everyone was asleep... Except me. I just couldn't go to bed. Not with Trevor being a possible zombie convert in the same house. How quickly everyone forgot about it. I sat up from the floor, and took a look in his direction. He coughed once, and rolled over. His actions startled me, and I quickly went back down to pretend I was sleeping.

"Shit dog, you scared of that mothahfucka too?" Kwame whispered, apparently just as afraid as I was.

"Yea, I'm a little nervous about him Kwame. Did you see him flip out earlier?" I asked.

"Fuck yea I did dog! That mothahfuckah went ape shit! I ain't sleeping with that mothahfuckah still in the room! Mothahfuckahs got me fucked up!" Kwame replied.

"I know what you mean, did the rest of these guys forget or something?" I asked.

"No we didn't," Roxy replied out of nowhere. "Jack and I are alternating. You guys can sleep, we're on it. We can't just sit up and look at the fucker, he already suspects something. Just calm down and go to sleep."

"Shit, I'm glad you got our backs Roxy," Kwame said.

"You're welcome Kwame, but seriously, go to sleep man. Unless you want to stay up and keep me company a while?" Roxy asked.

"Oh shit... You asking what I think you're askin' girl?"

"Um, no... Hell no."

"Shit... Just checkin."

"Alright, well I'm gonna it the hay," I told them both. I lied back down and listened to the both of them talk. For once it seemed like they actually got along. I was shocked, Kwame and Roxy... Getting along? Did I slip into an inter-dimensional portal somewhere? Was this actually happening? This isn't the twilight zone is it? I listened in on there conversation, catching bits and pieces of it. From what I listened to, Roxy was sort of talking Kwame down from hitting on every girl on the bus, and she was actually succeeding. She was mainly telling him how much she hated Riley, and how the two of them would never work. I couldn't believe Roxy was looking out for him like that, she was a very complex girl, and I meant that in a good way. She even told him, she knew there was a girl out there for him, which I think almost brought Kwame to tears, although he'd never admit it. Eventually I went to sleep, one arm over Celeste, the other pillowing my head. When I woke up in the morning, my sleeve was full of drool, and it seemed like I was the first one up. I went into the kitchen and made myself some coffee.

"What's in store for us today?" I asked myself as I took a sip. The smell of the coffee must have woken Trevor up, and he came into the kitchen. I froze in fear, and tried my best to act like he wasn't there. It was clear he was looking at me, waiting for me to see him, and talk to him. I just focused on the coffee... Maybe if I did that, he'd go away, I kept thinking. Trevor finally walked over close enough to me and I knew I could no longer ignore him.

"Good morning," I said.

"Heh, yea... Good fucking morning to you too. So... What the fuck's going on?"

"Look I don't know wha..."

"Oh you fucking know what's going on... And you're about to tell me everything you know. I heard you and the other fucks talking about me last night. I wasn't fucking sleeping."

I didn't get a chance to respond before Trevor had a gun to my throat. Where he had found it, I have no idea. Probably in one of these houses somewhere. If I had to guess, it was this one, we were in Kentucky after all. He pulled back the hammer, and I did my best to choke back the sick feeling in my gut. What should I do here? Do I tell him the truth and risk it all? Or do I lie out of my ass and hope he believes me? Trevor pressed the gun a little harder against my neck... Shit... This was bad.