I Saw Your Heart as It Overtook Me

I sat there staring at the baggie of coke clutched in my brother's hand with my mouth hanging slightly open.

"Well? What do you have to say about this Lauren?" He spat venomously, narrowing his eyes at me.

I tore my eyes from my brother and looked over to Matt to see an unreadable expression on his face. I couldn't tell if he was angry, pissed, happy, what the fuck was going on. I slowly looked back at Zacky, who was now shooting me a death glare.

"Zacky, that's not mine." I said weakly.

"Lauren it was in your fucking purse." He snarled, holding up my purse as well. "How can you say it's not yours?"

I shook my head violently as if that'd get my brother to believe me.

"It's not Zacky, I swear." I said, trying my hardest to fight back the tears.

Zacky just rolled his eyes and threw my purse onto the couch before he made his way towards me. He came to a stop in front of me and tossed the baggie onto the table I was sitting by. I sat there with my eyes glued to it almost as if it had me in a trance.

"Whose does it belong to then, Lauren, if not you?" Zacky asked through clenched teeth.

"Zacky, I don't know." I said weakly.

He let out an impatient sigh and grabbed a firm hold of my chin, forcing me to look up at him.

"Lauren." He said sternly.

"Zacky, I swear I don't know." I cried. "Please, believe me."

"Damn it Lauren, don't fucking lie to me."

"I'm not!" I yelled, pulling myself away from him. "Why don't you just fucking believe me?"

"I want to Lauren, I really do, but I can't seem to get past the fact that I found that coke in your fucking purse." He said coldly.

I looked up at him with the tears falling down either side of my face begging him with my eyes to believe me. When I saw he wasn't going to change his mind any time soon, I turned my gaze to Matt.

"Matt, you believe me, don't you?" I asked, sniffing back some tears.

"Lauren, I ... " He trailed off, biting his lip.

The hesitation in his voice and the doubt in his eyes were enough to break my heart. I would have thought that at least my boyfriend would have enough faith in me as to back me up in this situation.

"Where did you get it from Lauren?" Zacky asked.

I shook my head and looked down to my hands, not caring anymore about the tears obscuring my vision.

"Lauren, fucking answer me damn it." He demanded.

"I'm telling you Zacky, it's not mine and I don't know whose it is, nor do I know where they got it." I mumbled.

"God, I swear Lauren, why the hell do you have to lie all the time?"

"Zacky, I'm not lying." I said as I looked up at him. "Why the fuck don't you be-"

I stopped short when I felt the harsh sting going down the full length of the right side of my face. I sat there in shock for a couple of seconds, my head still turned slightly to the left from the force of my brothers hand coming in full contact with my cheek. I slowly looked back up at Zacky and shook my head at the sight of his guilty expression.

"You really don't believe me, huh Zacky?" I whispered.

When he didn't say anything I stood up and pushed my way past him, turning my eyes to Matt who was still sitting in the same spot on the couch.

"And thanks for backing me up too Matt." I said quietly.

Without waiting for a response I reached over, grabbing a hold of my purse, and made my way to door. Neither one of them tried to stop me as I disappeared through the door and into the freezing rain. I should have known better than to think that Zacky would stop me but I would at least Matt would have had the courage to say something.

Sure shows how much faith they've had in me. What did they think, that I had been lying this whole time whenever I told them I was clean? Truth be told, I have been clean since the beginning of the Warped Tour and I honestly didn't know whose coke that was, but it sure as hell didn't belong to me.

I took one last look at the bus and pulled my hood up over my head, walking to the edge of the street to signal for a cab.

Matt's POV
I sat there staring at the front of the bus as if waiting for Lauren to suddenly appear at the top of the steps. Don't ask why I thought she was coming back because honestly I didn't know. But what I did know was that I had absolutely fucked up big time just now.

Why the fuck didn't I fucking say anything? Why the fuck didn't I at least stand up for her? What the fuck kind of boyfriend was I? Lauren probably thinks that I didn't even believe her.

I looked across the way to Zacky, who was still standing in the same place as when he had slapped Lauren. He must have felt my eyes on him because he turned around and looked at me with a blank expression on his face.

"What?" He asked, narrowing his eyes at me. "I suppose you believe that lie?"

I rolled my eyes and got up, running to the front of the bus and literally jumped to the bottom step, flinging the door open. I ran out into the pouring rain, looking up and down the sidewalk for Lauren. I finally spotted her in the distance, waving down a cab.

"Lauren. Lauren wait!" I called after her.

She turned and looked at me just as a cab slowed to a stop in front of her.

"Lauren, please!" I called again, taking off towards her.

She looked at me with hurt written all across her face and got into the cab. I cursed out loud to myself and started to run faster, praying that I'd be able to catch them before they took off, but with just my luck the driver pulled out into the busy street just when I was a few feet away from them.

I was only able to catch a glimpse of Lauren's tear stained face before they zipped past me and disappeared into the distance.

"Fuck Matt." I said out loud. "You're such a motherfucking damn douche bag."

I bit down on my lip to help keep the tears from falling and slowly made my way back to the bus. I punched in the code and stomped my way up the stairs, heading straight for Zacky who was now leaning up against the table with a very sour look on his face.

"You let our little druggie get away?" He asked sarcastically.

"Fuck you." I spat, feeling the anger boiling through my veins. "She's no damn druggie."

"Oh wow. Now you stick up for her."

"Shut up, just shut your fucking mouth." I said venomously.

"What, you can't stand the fact that you-"

I cut him off by slamming my fist into the side of his face, causing his legs to buckle and him to fall to the floor. Zacky sat there, looking up at me with a shocked expression on his face for a couple of seconds before he climbed back up to his feet, spitting some blood out of his mouth.

"You feel better now?" He asked sarcastically, holding his jaw.

"No." I snapped, punching him again.

I think he must have been expecting it this time, however, and he didn't hesitate to hit me back. I'm not sure at which point it got into a full blown fist fight ... come on we're guys. You know how our adrenaline gets pumping and we seem to lose track of everything.

Anyway, the next thing I do recall was Syn and Jimmy pulling us apart.

"What the hell is going on in here?" Johnny asked, looking back and forth between Zacky and me.

"He's accusing Lauren of being a fucking druggie." I said angrily, struggling to get away from Jimmy and JB.

"Yeah, seeing her not so sunny past and the fact that I fucking found drugs in her purse, I'd say it's true." Zacky spat back, trying to struggle out of Syn's grip.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, let's just fucking take a chill pill." JB suggested.

I stopped my struggle and let them lead me to one of the couches while Syn led Zacky to the opposite couch. I narrowed my eyes at Zacky and folded my arms in front of me.

"So, exactly what the fuck is going on here?" Johnny asked.

"Well, Zacky needed a lighter and I told him mine was in Lauren's purse." I started out. "So he was digging in it and-"

"Did Lauren seem like she was acting suspicious?" Johnny cut in.

I gave him a funny look and hit him upside the head.

"What the fuck are you? Some sort of private investigator? Let me finish my fucking story." I said. "No, she wasn't acting 'suspicious,' she was just acting like anyone who had their hand smashed by a fucking blowing ball would act."

"Okay, so then what happened?" Johnny continued.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head a bit.

"Zacky pulled out a baggie of coke, accused it of belonging to Lauren, slapped her, and then she took off." I mumbled.

"Yeah, but not before thanking Matt for sticking up for her." Zacky added.

"Shut up." I retorted.

"You shut the fuck up." He replied snootily.

"Fuck off."

"Fuck you, you son of a bi-"

"Holy shit, you guys both shut the fuck up." Jimmy sighed. "And Zacky, Lauren was telling the truth."

"What? How the fuck do you know that?"

"Because the coke belongs to me, not Lauren." Jimmy mumbled.

"What? Lauren said that she didn't know who it belong to." Zacky said, narrowing his eyes suspiciously at Jimmy as if trying to determine whether or not he was just trying to cover up for Lauren or if he was in fact telling the truth.

"Because she didn't know I pit it in here." Jimmy said quietly. "When you guys were waiting for me at the blowing all I didn't go to the bathroom ... I was getting the coke. I put it in Lauren's bag because I thought it was Alyssa's and I didn't realize it was Lauren's until she took it back from me once I got outside. I wasn't able to get it back because you guys took off to the hospital and well, we came back to the bus."

I looked across the way to give Zacky an 'I told you so' look, but stooped short when I saw the sorrow on his face ... Don't get me wrong, but Zacky really is a good brother. Yes, a little overprotective from time to time and always jumping to conclusions, it only goes to show how much he really loves his baby sister.

"I ... " Zacky trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck. "Fuck, I feel like such a motherfucking asshole." He mumbled.

"Yeah, well you should." Johnny said bluntly.

Yeah ... leave it to Johnny to always know the perfect thing to say to make anyone feel more like douche than they already were. Zacky frowned after Johnny's retreating back as he disappeared into the hallways and reached for his phone. Before he grabbed a hold of it, however, it started going off.

"Hello?" Zacky asked hesitantly, indicating that it was a number he didn't recognize.

"Er, yeah ... Yes, she's my sister ... W-What?" he asked, the color draining almost completely from his face.

I felt my heart instantly drop ... did something happen to Lauren?

"Is she alright?"

My heart dropped, if possible, even more.

"What the fuck do you mean you don't know?"

This was getting too intense.

"Where is she? ... Alright, alright, we'll be right down."

I eyed Zacky intently as he hung up his cell.

"W-What happened to Lauren?" I asked hurriedly, trying to keep my voice calm.

"L-Lauren's cab was in an accident." Zacky said shakily. "They s-said they don't know her c-condition b-but ... " Zacky trailed off, burying his face in his hands.

The ride to the hospital seemed like such a blur. I just basically sat there the whole time, mentally kicking myself in the fucking ass for not stopping Lauren when I had the chance. She looked to me for help ... for my fucking support and I just stared blankly back at her like I didn't have a fucking care in the world.

And now it might be too fucking late to make it up to her.
End of Matt's POV