Dear Diary,

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Dear Diary,Hey, it’s me – Ash again. I don’t know why I always write that, no one else but I is going to read or write in this. –sigh- Why do I even write in you? It’s not like it will help get rid of my feelings, or fix my problems. Speaking of feelings – December got a new boyfriend last night. I know I promised myself I would tell him before it happened again, but he was only single for a month – it wasn’t enough time. I know if you could talk – or think for that matter – you would just tell me it was another excuse. I know that though, but he doesn’t even feel the same way! I know, I know – tell him anyway you never know! Fuck – I sound crazy right now! Doesn’t matter though – no one touches this but me.

Crap, I need to go – I’ll finish this entry later. December’s calling – probably to tell me more about his boyfriend – John, ugh what an ugly name – it doesn’t even go good with December!

- Ash


Dear Diary,

Hey! December again – like always. Haha. Today’s been good so far – I wore my new skinny jeans today at school and kept catching Ash sneaking a peek at my ass. When he saw he was caught he started blushing it didn’t talk to me for a whole period – it was kind of weird, but it was nice to know he approved of the pants. :)

I told him I got a new boyfriend – John – I wonder if he realizes that I was lying and only trying to get him jealous. Probably not though – he’s not always the smartest. Why would he even get jealous anyways? I wish I could just admit my feelings to him, but I’m sure he doesn’t feel the same way. If he did that would be fucking fantastic, so until I find out for sure I’m going to keep lying about John. I know it’s pretty mean to do this, but it’s the only thing I can think to do – that won’t totally make are friendship awkward as fuck if he doesn’t feel the same way about me as I do him.

I think I’m going to call him in a bit – talk more about John – maybe he’ll actually say something about liking me (or being jealous.) I’ll tell you how it goes when I finish it!

- December


Dear Diary,

I was right. He just called to tell me how great John is – like I care. I guess I do though. I just want December happywith me – that won’t happen though. I guess if he’s happy with John I should at least act happy. He seems to really like John, even though they only been dating for about a day – says he thinks he loves him – it really hurt me when he said that. I tried to keep it out of my voice but he probably noticed. Didn’t seem to want to talk long – we were only on the phone for about fifteen minutes – he talked mostly.

My phone’s going off again – it’s December. I almost want to just ignore it, but I can’t ever do that to him. I don’t want to hear about how John is though again – it so fucking annoying. I better answer now though – it’s going to go to voicemail in a second and I don’t want to ignore him.

- Ash


Dear Diary,

I called him and started talking about John – he seemed to get annoyed by it. I lied even more and told him I thought I loved him already – he sounded really hurt and sad by that. After saying that I couldn’t talk to him for much longer, I don’t like to hurt him. I know I should stop doing this – or at least stop lying to him. I don’t know what else to do though – what if I told him my feelings and he doesn’t return them? I would rather be his friend and keep these feelings a secret then lose him because I told him I loved him.

I’m going to call him again and see if I can get him more jealous – god I sounding like such a fucking asshole right there – I know I am! Just, whatever – hopefully he doesn’t to mad at me.

- December


Dear Diary,

I told him! I fucking told him! I hung up right afterwards – but STILL, it’s a start! :D He probably won’t talk to me now, but I think it’s alright. I mean, maybe now that I’ve actually told him they will go away or something and when they’re gone we can go back to being friends. You’re probably confused though, let me explain to why I did this – wait second. (phone’s going off again…)

It was December – I ignored it – not ready to talk to him yet. What was I writing about? Oh yeah! So December called again and started going off about hot great John was – blah blah blah. I listen for a while though then he finally said that he wanted me to meet him. I yelled at and told him that ‘I don’t give a fuck about super great JOHN and I wasn’t going to go and meet him. He what my problem was and I told him! I just blurted it out! He was silent after that and once I realized what I actually said I hung up! But still! It told him my true feelings! :D

I guess I should go now – it’s getting pretty late and I have school tomorrow. Hopefully December won’t absolutely hate me and still want to be my friend. Night.

- Ash


Dear Diary,

I don’t really know what to say. Ash yelled at me – he’s never yelled at me before. Well, I mean joking he has, but this was serious yelling! I was telling him how great John was and the he should meet him. Then he just yelled at me, said ‘I don’t give a fuck about super great John and I wasn’t going to and meet him.’ I asked him what his problem was and he just started yelling at me again about how stupid John was. Then he goes on about how I’m purposely making him jealous – I guess he knows me really well – and that he liked me and wanted to date me, so he wanted to stop telling about John. I wasn’t really what to say to that when he said it, so I didn’t say anything. (I know, there’s a first time for everything.) I think he took that as a bad sign though and he hung up. Should I call him again? Try to explain myself? Yeah, I’m going to call him…

I called him, he ignored it. I just know. It wasn’t off, because it rang two times – not one – and then it went to voicemail. I guess I’ll just talk to him at school tomorrow – or I could leave him a message… I don’t really know what to say yet though, yeah I’ll just wait till school tomorrow – I’ll figure out something by then. Maybe I’ll ask him out! Yeah, at least now I know for sure he’ll say yes.

- December
P.S. I’ll tell you how it goes after school.


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Dear Dairy.

December here. He said yes, thought I’d let you know. :D

- December
♠ ♠ ♠
Secret #10: I'm in love with my best friend.

Word Count: twelve hundred thirty three

First slash I've ever written - please give me some feedback - be kind.

xx