This Is a Dream

"Hazel," I hiss, "knock it off." She turns and grins in my direction but continues to tie a kids shoelaces together. When she finishes she sits back on her hands looking pleased with herself, "It'll be funny." I shake my head at her and turn back to the front of the class where Ty is talking about a future competition.

"It's a small one," he's saying, pacing steadily across the recently washed dance floor,"but it will hopefully get our groups name out there."

We all nod together and I try and look happy while inside I'm being torn to pieces. I place my hands firmly on my temple trying to shake off the nervousness, I had never gotten stage fright before, ever.

"Are you okay?" Hazel whispers, her eyes trained on Ty but her head tilted slightly in my direction.

"I-I think I'm going to be sick," I stutter astonished. My head reels and I take off running for the bathroom at the back of the studio. My bare feet slap across the tile bathroom floor and I slam open the first bathroom door, throwing myself down in front of the toilet. I hear Hazel call my name but my eyes blur and I lean over the porcelain side, gagging.

"Callie?" Hazel asks worriedly, coming up behind me. I wave her off but she determinedly sits down crossed legged beside me, gently rubbing my back.

"A little puke doesn't gross me out, Cal." She murmurs, pushing my sweaty hair back from my face.

I glance up at her, "Thank you, Hazel," I whisper, swallowing thickly.

She nods and I sit up, scooting backwards until I can feel the cold texture of the bathroom stall separator on my bare shoulders and lower back. "I don't know what's wrong with me," I slowly lay my head back and sigh.

"It's stress," She says, "Your mom, school, dance. It's too much." She explains, blinking at me. "No one can handle it, and I know you don't sleep that much either."

I glance away and stare at the ceiling, trying not to answer her, it doesn't matter, she knows she's right anyway.

"If it makes you feel better, Ty was willing to come in here to make sure you were okay." She smiles.

"Really?" I laugh, "He was willing to risk his manliness to enter the sacred world of the women's bathroom?"

"If I would have let him I think he would have Chuck Norris'd this door with an ax to make sure you were okay." We giggle together and then I let her help me up.

"I think I'm going to go out the back." I tell her when I'm standing squarely on two feet without rocking.

"What should I tell Ty?" She says understanding my need to get away and be alone for awhile.

"Tell him I'm fine," I say over my shoulder, pushing open the heavy back door. "Can you bring my bag too?" I ask her, referring to my favorite dance bag I had left on the floor where I had almost shown my guts to the whole dance group.

"'Course," She smiles, hopping in place on one foot, extra energy as usual, "I'll see you at home."

My breath catches at her last word but I turn and flash her a smile anyway, "Sure." I reply and let the door slowly close behind me, blocking out the music and the voices of the dancers who had yet to leave.

---

Outside I let the chilly air dance over my bare arms, letting it cool me down, Hazel's last words still swirling in my head.

"Home," I whisper, drowning out the street sounds from around me, it had been two weeks since I had last seen my mom, last talked to her even. She hadn't bothered to call and I didn't want to cross the bridge and dial her number either.

I shake my head, if my mom wanted to talk to me then she would find a way to get a hold of me. My whole life I had tried to keep the peace, for once it was her turn.

"Callie, wait up!" Someone shouts from behind me, I slow down trying to place the voice, it's not Hazel, I know that; but then who is it?

Someones hand grasps my wrist and gently pulls me till I'm facing them, "Mackenzie?" I ask in bewilderment.

"Hey!" She screeches, wrapping me in a firm hug, "Where have you been?"

I press the palm of my hand to my temple, trying to keep the throbbing head ache down.

"Around," I answer simply, starting to walk away. She grabs my arm again and I pull back slightly away from her.

"What's wrong?" She asks, her voice going slightly cold.

"Mackenzie, you don't remember why I haven't been around?" I say quietly, "Why I don't try and talk to you?"

She scoffs and waves her hand in the air, "Old news, didn't I apologize for that?" she asks.

"No," I say between my teeth.

"Well, sorry I guess." She says, "Your mom has been talking about you, she wants you back you know."

"No, I don't know," I tell her.

"You should go back." She tells me, her fingers like a handcuff on my wrist.

"I don't want to." I say, trying to edge my way back from her. I can tell I sound like a child but for once I don't even care, I just want to get away.

"Don't be stupid, Callie," her eyes slitted, "You have a future."

"I'm not going home, Mackenzie," I say coldly, "Now let me the hell go," I tear away from her and start running down the sidewalk, never looking back at her.

"I lied," She yells at my back, "Your mom never said anything." She pauses as I round a corner, "she doesn't want you back!" She screams the last part and unwillingly a sob breaks free from my chest. I sprint the rest of the way, Tears rolling down my face I finally reach Hazel's house where I sprint up the stairs and to my temporary bedroom.

I want to be strong for once, refuse to let someone get to me but the tears continue to roll down my cheeks, replacing the ones before and I don't stop them.