All Lights Off

I didn't think I had that kind of stamina, it must have been the adrenalin rush. I held my skirt up but I stepped on it a few times. We earned several questioning looks from some random guests and eventually Corey slammed the door to his room shut behind us.

We sat on the bed in silence, trying to catch our breath. I felt my skin break a sweat and presumed the colour of my face matched the colour of my dress.

I tried to process what had just happened. I was going back to my room. Corey followed me. We were almost seen by one of his bandmates. I wasn't ready for what ever would follow so I ran for it. I opened my mouth to ask Corey why he'd run with me but then I remembered I'd said: 'Run!' I rolled my eyes at myself.

''Max wouldn't have tried to kill you,'' he spoke.

''Huh?'' I asked, still panting and trying to swallow my stomach which stood in my throat.

''Max Leek. My bandmate. He was the one we ran from. I have no idea what I'm gonna tell him later,'' he laughed.

''I'm sorry,'' I laughed too.

I stopped laughing when my heart dropped to my stomach and the room started spinning.

''Denise, you're starting to look sort of yellowish. Why don't you lie down for a moment,'' he said.

''Yeah, I better do that,'' I agreed, laying on the bed to watch the ceiling spin.

I covered my eyes shielding them from the ceiling lamp that had the intensity of the one in a Gestapo interrogation room. Corey handed me a glass of water and turned that thing off. The little bedside lamp was quite enough. I sat up slowly.

''I won't be running any time soon,'' I said.

There was an uncomfortable silence before he said: ''So... You and Manny, huh?''

''Don't remind me. My bandmates set me up. They thought it would be fun watching me sweat,'' I said with the intention of stopping him from biting his lips and staring at the floor.

''I've read an interview with Glitter Bats in which he said he'd much rather do a fellow musician than a groupie girl,'' he said.

''Really? Well... That's nice but he picked a wrong fellow musician.''

I finished that glass of water and felt better. It seemed that I'd been dehydrated. That was it.

''I should be getting back there,'' I said and lazily stood up. I didn't want to face the rest of Wildest Justice or Manny the I-want-to-do-a-fellow-musician.

I was already opening the door when Corey pushed them closed.

''You say Manny's got the wrong girl but you're going back there,'' he commented.

I faced him wanting to explain that I didn't really want to go back but before I made a sound, he yanked that pendant that was around my neck and threw it aside. His angry eyes lingered on my cleavage and his expression changed.

''These scratches...''

''It's fine, Corey'' I shrugged it off, ''I didn't feel a thing, I was surprised to see that too.''

His fingers traced those lines and it was hard to breathe. My chest heaved in a too tight corset as I fought for every breath I took.

That gentle touch soon turned into groping and a desperate struggle to get me out of that dress. I heard the fabric rip a few times but it didn't interest me.

We ended up in exactly the same scenario as the night before. Just plain and simple sex. In a pitch black room because we'd turned the light off. Not a single word said. During that time it was like we were in a different world where we're alone and we're not even ourselves. The music, the tension, all the bad circumstances that were between us and had brought us together in the first place were simply gone at that time.

As we lay in the dark, under the covers, I was staring at the ceiling that must have been somewhere up there.

''I better go,'' I said quietly.

''W-why?''

''Jack will be coming back, won't he?''

''Not tonight. Dolly has a room here in the hotel, he'll be with her.''

''Dolly?''

''Dolores. She's his girlfriend. That blond woman he came to the gala with.''

''I didn't see her. I'm going now,'' I said and started dressing in the dark.

''No,'' he complained and turned the light on.

I zipped the dress up as far as I could by myself and he slipped on a pair of black jeans. We both looked away; gods know why but it was embarrassing.

He blocked my way and put his hands on my waist saying: ''Please, wait. Please?''

His penetrating gaze could have stopped the Earth from turning. I was defenseless.

''I can stay a little longer,'' I said and sat across Jack's bed, leaning my back against the wall.

I caught the sight of myself in the mirror on the opposite wall. My lipstick was smeared and the hair that was pulled into a perfect bun was not so perfect. I remembered my dress must have been ripped in several places. He sat next to me in the exact same position I was in.

''Can I ask you something, Denise?''

''Sure, Corey.''

''Are you enjoying yourself? With me, I mean.''

That question got to me.

''It's hard to explain.''

''What is?'' he asked, this time a bit urgently.

''I haven't been with men in a long time because... I had two pregnancy scares with the wrong ones and once I caught a disease that took a long time to cure. I couldn't do that anymore. And there is another thing. The doctor said everything was alright with me physically but I always feel pain in the beginning. You know what I mean?''

He was quiet, processing what I'd said.

''You're not the only one with problems, you know?''

There was a long pause before he added: ''I never came with another person.''

''What?'' was all I could come up with in my disbelief.

''Believe it or not, guys can fake it too,'' he said irritably.

''And that problem appears only when you're with another person?''

''Yes. 'Only'. It's a mental blockage or something. I've got all that tension building inside of me and... And then nothing.''

''I've heard of that. Supposedly some people have a fear of losing control of their own bodies.''

''Denise, why are we having sex if we're in fact torturing each other?''

''I don't know.''

''I'm kind of glad we had this conversation.''

''Me too.''

So much information shared at once. It took time for all that's been said to sink in. We both mumbled and blushed through the entire conversation, trying not to met each others' gaze but we'd said it all.

''I'll go to my room and shower,'' I said and and got up, walking towards the mirror.

When I saw my ruined hairdo and makeup up close, I was kind of disgusted. My dress was ripped and I still had that bandage on my arm which completed the picture. If I'd had any strength in me, I would have laughed.

I stepped into my shoes and he held the door open for me. To my surprise, he followed me into the hallway and leaned in to kiss me. I backed against the wall.

''Come on,'' he whispered an cupped my chin.

His hands were small and soft, almost like woman's. Except the callused fingertips which imposed the idea that I didn't know how skilled his fingers might be. I shook off the unwanted thought.

''No, Corey,'' I said turning my face away.

''Why won't you ever let me kiss you on the lips? Not once. I was sure after the conversation we had you'd... You can't toy with people's emotions like this.''

''Emotions?'' I repeated in disbelief and lack of understanding.

''Get you filthy hands off of her!!'' a loud voice came from down the hall. Anthony paced towards us with fury in his eyes.

Corey and I jerked away from each other.

''My God, Denise! What did he do to you?!'' he yelled in shock.

''N-no! No, Anthony! This is not what it looks like,'' I stuttered.

''And what does it look like?!'' he said and took in the sight of me with pained and disgusted expression.

I found myself unable to speak. I couldn't make a sound. I opened my mouth but nothing came out. Anthony took my arm and dragged me away, glaring at Corey.

When we got to my room, he sat me down on the bed and knelt in front of me.

''Denise... What happened? Did he hurt you? If he did, you have to tell.''

''Nobody hurt me, I'm fine.''

''Take a look at yourself, you're a mess. What were you doing tonight? Where were you? Who did this?'' he kept pushing.

''Why can't you accept the fact that nothing bad happened to me? I'm a grown woman and I can take care of myself,'' I said dryly. I was suddenly aware of my voice. It was blank and producing a lame explanation. A part of me felt horrible about feeding Anthony such garbage.

''Why were you standing there with Corey Vannacutt? I don't get it,'' he frowned, shaking his head.

His pale blue eyes searched my face for any sign of explanation.

''Why was he touching you?''

''Leave me alone, Anthony,'' I said.

He sighed in defeat and said: ''Go clean yourself up, Denise.''

+~+~+~+~+~+~+

He slammed the door shut and got dressed. He was fuming with anger. Why didn't she speak up? Why was she playing that hot-and-cold game? That conceited diva! God knows what lies she could be telling her bandmates.

He couldn't sit and let the thoughts consume him so he thought he'd make his bed and then have a few beers in the hotel bar. Getting drunk and passing out in a neatly made bed that wouldn't remind him of what had happened. That seemed like a good idea.

He pulled the blanket off the bed and froze in spot when he saw a rather big blood stain on the white sheet.

>>

He sat in the bar staring blankly at the beer bottle in front of him. He couldn't get the blood stain out of his mind. Denise wasn't a virgin, of course. Was she on her period? Do women have sex when they are? That was kind of a gross idea. He remembered his ex girlfriends complaining about painful cramps that would put them off...Then he remembered Denise said she always felt pain. He buried his face in his hands, overwhelmed with frightening ideas. Was it possible that he had hurt her? Maybe caused some internal injuries, ripped tissue or something? A cold chill went down his spine.

His thoughts were interrupted by a soft female voice: ''Corey?''

He looked up into a pair of blue eyes.

''H-hi, Dolly,'' he said and tried to smile at her.

''What happened to you?'' she read him like a book.

''I don't know, Doll. Everything is so weird.''

She sat down next to him.

''Where's Jack?'' he asked.

''Upstairs. I came here to get a bucket of ice.''

''Don't keep him waiting.''

She tossed her long blond hair over her shoulder and sat back. She wasn't leaving until she heard the truth. Dolores only looked like a fairytale princess. She had a fiery temper and was unbelievably stubborn. Corey knew he wouldn't be able to get rid of her just like that.

''Dolly... Can I ask you something very personal?''