25 To Life

That night I fell asleep in my dad’s arms. The next day I got ready for school and ate breakfast with dad. I was sitting on dad’s lap waiting for Andy to pick me up for school. Dad was rubbing my stomach gently which tickled so I giggled.

“I love yeh babeh.” Dad whispered in my ear over and over again.

“’ey daddeh, what are we goin’ to do when the babeh is born?” My Swedish accent kind of overpowered my British one. You all probably forgot that I am half Swedish too.

Dad continued to rub my stomach and finally after five minutes he answered.

“Well, ‘m not goin’ teh adopt it, I wan’ yeh teh be the mother of meh babeh.” He said, I smiled and turned my head to look at him. He looked back at me with warm eyes, his hazel orbs big and bright.

“Do yeh love meh Emma?” dad asked I got a weird felling lick he was asking it in a different way.

“Yeah daddeh yeh know I do.” I said. He chuckled.

“No I mean are yeh in love wif meh, too?” He asked with hope in his eyes. I looked down; I didn’t know how to answer that. I mean when we have sax or in dad’s case ‘make love’,

I feel like I’m all he cares about. I get tingles when we kiss and when he touches my arms and what not, but I have no idea what being in love feels like.

“Um I don’t really know wha’ being in love feels like daddeh.” I said looking at him through my lashes. He locked his lips with mine. My lips tingled and I felt really warm inside.

Is this what being in love feels like? He pulled away a few minutes later.

“Did yeh feel anehfing?” I nodded. “Wha’ did yeh feel?” dad asked looking into my eyes. And I told him how that kiss made me feel.

“It made me lips tingle and I fel’ warm inside, like I neva wanted it teh end.” As I was saying that dad got the biggest grin I haven’t seen in a long time.

Actually the only time I seen him grin like that, was when my mom told him she was pregnant with Kiva.

After they died dad lost all hope and started drinking, then my older brother Mikey couldn’t take all the drinking my dad did and he left when he turned seventeen,

leaving me all alone with dad. That’s when dad started to give me sexual attention. Then at fifteen he took my virginity and that leads up to now.

I snapped out of my thoughts when dad started to talk. “’M no’ afraid teh say this, bu’ yeh ‘ave feelings fo’ meh.” He said. Great now I’m falling for my dad, I got pregnant by him and I’m dating the nicest guy I ever met.

“Wow, I neva thought I would fall for me daddeh.” I said looking ahead of me. Dad laughed and hugged me. Then I heard the knock on the door, I looked at the clock 7:00 it read.

Andy is right on time I was about to get up and answer the door but dad beet me to it.

“Hey Mr. Sykes.” I heard Andy say with his deep voice.

“Emma, I know yeh told him yer little secret ‘bout us, do yeh want teh tell ‘im or should I?”
Dad asked looking over at me; I motioned for dad to let Andy inside.

Andy followed dad into the living room he sat down on the sofa next to me. Dad walked into the kitchen I know he was eves dropping but I ignored it.

“Andeh, I can’t be with yeh right now.” I said holding back tears. I didn’t want to break up with him but I knew that he wouldn’t be happy with me once I had my dad’s baby.

“Why?” he said in a small voice but it was still deep.

“’M pregnant.” I said as tears spilled out of my eyes and down my cheeks.

“Emma, listen to me.” he said, I looked over to him as he continued. “Nothing you say, or do will make me lose interest in you. We have been best friends for months and I finally got the balls to ask you to be my girlfriend. Don’t take that away from me, I don’t care that you are carrying your father’s baby. I still want to be with you.” He made my day by saying that.

I nodded as he whipped my tears away; he neared his way to my lips, when he pressed his lips to mine I felt the sparks. Oh no please don’t tell me that I’m falling for two men!

My life is so fucked up.

Andy left to go to school and I stayed home with dad. I went up stairs to my bathroom and started the water for a bath. I striped out of my clothes and got into the water, the hot water felt nice against my skin.

After about twenty minutes my dad came in, I didn’t lock the door, that was another rule dad came up with, never lock the door. With the exception of the front and back doors.

Dad kneeled down on the floor by my head. I looked at him taking in all he facial features. Dad didn’t have any sign of old age; he was almost forty and didn’t have any frown lines or fine lines, nothing.

He still looks like he did want he was with my mom.

“Hey daddeh?” I asked after five minutes of thinking.

“Yeah babeh?” He asked gently running the back of his index finger over cheek.

“How come yeh don’t look yer age?” I said opening my eyes to look at him, he still ran his finger over my cheek.

“’M jus’ luckeh I guess. Did I eva tell yeh, yeh look betta wif out yer dread falls?” He said looking at me with love in his eyes.

I don’t know what came over me, but I grabbed the back of his neck and kissed him. He pulled me out of the tub and onto his lap. I pulled off his shirt and pants.

We had sex on my bathroom floor but this time I was on top, and I was the one in control.