I Couldn't Be More Afraid

Shit, I thought as I sat in the cab with Brandon Dubinsky next to me. I knew exactly what I was getting myself into and I wasn’t going to deny that I wanted to do it again. Layla was going to kill me, but she knew it was going to happen. I didn’t tell her about the first time because I knew that she would judge me for it. While it was true that I got around, it was different with Dubi because he was Layla’s friend and the night it happened, I was hoping that she would finally stop being stupid about Marc. He hadn’t said a word since we got in the cab, but at his building, he took me by the hand and led me up to his apartment.

There was no hesitation as I followed him to his bedroom. He put his mouth against mine and our tongues met, I put my hands on his stomach and moved downwards towards the zipper of his pants. In one movement, I opened them and pulled them down, letting his thick cock spring loose. His hands ran throw my hair, putting pressure on my head as I went down on my knees. I took him in my hand and started to rub up and down, my mouth finding the tip and my tongue drawing circles. He used his hands to make my head bob up and down as I sucked on his cock. Dubi let out a moan before picking me up and placing me on the end of his bed. He removed my skirt and underwear and shoved his finger inside my warm hole. His finger thrusted violently until he removed his hands to open a condom and roll it over his length; he then shoved his entire length inside of me in one movement.

He stood in front of the bed that I was sitting on and he put his hands on my shoulders. His thrusting was almost mechanical, but his girth filled me up and hit all of the right spots. I moaned, hoping it would get him to put more into it. I looked up at his mind was off in space as he pushed in and out of me. I closed my eyes to allow myself to enjoy him inside of me and I started to match his movements to increase my pleasure. My orgasm was building as he came into the condom and pulled out. I felt unsatisfied, but at the same time, I was worried about Dubi. There was something wrong with him.

When he was done, he pulled a pair of boxers and sweats out of his dresser and sat down on the bed next to me, staring up at the ceiling. I grabbed my skirt off the floor and pulled it back on, sitting next to him. I thought about just leaving and going home…or going and finding another guy who would actually satisfy me, but when I looked at his face, I decided to actually try to start a conversation.

“So are you gonna tell me what’s up?” I said to him.

“What are you talking about?” he responded after a few seconds of hesitation.

“Your Mr. Charming act dropped as soon as we left the Garden, you pretty much just fucked me like a blow up doll, and now you look mopey…so spill.”

“It’s nothing.”

“Brandon…”

“Leah…”

“Last time I was with you, you had all of this personality and you made me crazy and want to come back, what changed?”

“Nothing,” he responded way too quickly.

“You were incredibly charming until…” and then I realized when everything changed. As soon as Layla walked away, Dubi’s eyes followed her over to Marc. He made sure he was visible from where she was standing; he touched me when she could see. “Oh my God,” I said out loud, “she’s your best friend’s girlfriend.”

“Do you think I don’t know that?” he responded obviously frustrated, “I hate myself for this every day, but I can’t help it.”

“She’s my best friend, I’ve seen this happen before…you’re not the first guy.”

“What have the rest done?”

“Nothing,” I started, “Honestly, Lay has no idea. She’s in this little bubble, she has been as long as I’ve known her. In college, there was only one guy who she wanted and he played her like a fiddle; it hurt her a bit and made her not trust anyone…that’s what made her take so long with Marc. A lot of guys at the bar have asked what her deal is, I tell them that I don’t know. We don’t make habits of dating regulars, but some of them became regulars because of her,” I wasn’t sure why I was telling him this much, but he deserved to know. Dubi was a good guy and if I could prevent him getting hurt by Layla, then it was probably best. I love Layla, she’s one of my best friends, but the girl had no idea whatsoever what she did to guys.

“I called her hot the other day and she practically got offended.”

“That sounds like Layla.”

“Does she not look in the mirror?” he laughed.

I laughed back before saying, “she’s modest…what can I say. I’m not gonna lie to you, I know why you like her…fuck, if I were a guy, I’d probably be in love with her.”

“What do you suggest I do?”

“I don’t know. She’s happy with Marc right now.”

“I know…I just…” he didn’t have to finish that sentence. I had heard it so many times before. I had heard Layla on the phone with him before and she’d shown me their text conversations, she wasn’t exactly doing things to turn him off. Of course, there was nothing anyone could do to make him get over her quickly. I turned and looked at him and kissed him gently on the cheek.

“What was that for?”

“I thought you could use it.”

“Thanks Leah.”

“You’re welcome. But Dubes…”

“Yeah?”

“You’re gonna be kissing your teammates a lot more than Layla right now.”

“Kiss one rookie’s visor and you get a reputation,” he laughed in response. I smiled and ran my hand through his hair. He was a good guy and I didn’t want to see him get hurt by my best friend. Unfortunately, I knew Layla better than that and she would never have any idea what she was doing to him. I got up to head home and Dubi stopped me; he told me that he wanted me to stay with him so he didn’t have to be alone. Even though my sex drive was completely unhappy, I decided to stay and we fell asleep with space between us in his bed.