I Couldn't Be More Afraid

In the time since Marc showed up in the bar, he had been texting me relatively often. Once in a while he would even try to call, but it was always at bad times, so I never answered. His texts started out as mostly come-ons, but eventually he actually started to make conversation. He would ask about my day and he had so many questions all the time; I felt like he actually wanted to get to know me. At the same time, he would tell me about his life and I learned that he was more than hockey. Even though he and his brothers had been playing hockey and even skating pretty much since they could walk, there was a lot more to Marc Staal.

Maxwells had always been a popular spot for hockey fans to go and watch a game. We always had on the Rangers, the Islanders, and the Devils, and sometimes we would even show the Bruins and the Sabres. The crowd was typically younger guys who were incredibly enthusiastic. I loved working their shifts because even though most of them were college students, the right amount of cleavage always led to great tips. I also really loved to sleep in, so working the night shifts made that easier.

I also always enjoyed impressing cute guys with my hockey knowledge. They saw a pretty girl working in a bar and didn’t expect me to know what was going on in the game. Some of them tried to explain the game to be like I was a child, but then I would get distracted and start yelling at the TV…my tips usually improved. Boys in their early twenties were very impressed by a girl who could keep up with them during a sporting event. If I worked on Sunday nights, I could probably impress them with football as well, but that was usually my night off.

Kim called me one afternoon about two weeks after Marc came to visit me at work. She told me that she had tickets to the Hurricanes at the Islanders for the next night. I had the night off so I decided that it would be a fun game, while I didn’t care too much for either team, I still loved going to games.

The game was a lot of fun, I cheered equally for both teams and made sure not to wear any Rangers gear. While I was loyal to my team, I also enjoyed my life. During the game, Marc was texting me and making comments about his brother. I giggled every time my phone said something along the lines of “scream Eric blows tractors.” It didn’t even make sense, but Marc was kind of cute, so I laughed. We were sitting pretty close to the ice so I did scream a few comments to Eric upon Marc’s suggestions.

After the game, Kim wanted to go stand around the back of the Coliseum to try to meet the team. Even though she was a born and raised Ranger fan, she had a soft spot for John Tavares. We stood outside waiting and met Tavares as well as a couple of his teammates. We stood around a little longer waiting for the parking lot to empty out because Nassau Coliseum parking lot sucked when it was crowded. While waiting around, there was a bunch of chatter behind us; we turned around to see the Carolina Hurricanes walking to the hotel on the other side of the parking lot. Eric Staal and a few of his teammates walked over to us.

“Hey, were you the girl screaming something about a tractor during the game,” Eric said. Apparently, he was just as forward as his brother….and everyone said he was the quietest Staal.

“Yeah, that was her.”

“Well, it was pretty funny, I’m Eric,” he introduced himself.

“Layla, nice to meet you….and this is Kim.”

“Wait a second…a girl named Layla yelling things about a tractor…are you the girl my brother’s obsessed with?”

“I don’t think he’s obsessed with me…”

“Then it is you…so was Marc feeding you those lines?”

“Guilty.”

“Well, I have to run, but you should give my brother a chance, he’s a good guy.”

“I’ll think about it,” I responded. The truth was, I enjoyed talking to Marc and I would go out with him if I wasn’t so afraid that he was going to break my heart. Hockey players didn’t do commitment and I knew that. While they didn’t come into Maxwell’s very much, they girls they humped and dumped did and told their stories over their bottles upon bottles of merlot. I always laughed because those girls thought they were classy and that they meant something to the guys, but I could always tell they were just another one night stand.

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A couple of days later, I was working while the bar was taken over by Devils fans. It always surprised me how many of them were on Long Island since they were rivals with both local teams. I never hid from them that I was a Ranger fan, most of the guys saw it as a challenge. They would flirt with me more and give me bigger tips when I was actually able to argue back. I loved those nights.

All of a sudden, the Devils fans got incredibly riled up and the anti-Ranger insults got louder and more intense. I looked towards the door and it felt like déjà vu when I saw Marc, Erik, and Dubi walk into my bar yet again. This time they had Del Zotto and White with them too; I needed to make sure Del Zotto knew that I wasn’t serving him, the last thing I needed was to lose my job. Of course, I had served under aged guys with fakes before, but he was too famous for me to get away with it. I let the other bartender take care of them while I waited on a few cute boys in the corner. Since I could feel Marc’s eyes on me, I made sure to very obviously flirt with these guys. Last time they were at the bar, Dubi told me that I was playing the game too and if I was going to play, I was going to play to win.

Leah, the other bartender, came up to me about twenty minutes later and said, “your fan club has been trying to get your attention since they walked in. Come on, girl, you have the New York Rangers following you around, do it up.”

I laughed, “thank Leah, I’ll go see what they want.”

I walked over to the guys and saw that their beers were almost empty. Leah had served Del Zotto, but when I was refilling, I decided to have a little fun with him. “Aren’t you under 21, Mr. Del Zotto?”

“Yes, but I’m Canadian and there, I can drink, so here I can drink.”

“I don’t think it works that way.”

“Can 19 year old Americans drink in Canada?”

“Yeah…”

“Same thing.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Come on, Layla, please refill my beer?” he made a cute puppy dog face that I just couldn’t resist. I refilled all of their drinks and soon they were all teasing me about something or another. It was pretty fun; I always got along better with guys than girls, that’s probably why I was so successful working at a sports bar. I knew that eventually I would have to get another job, but I was having too much fun.

The Devils fans around the bar all started to heckle the guys and they took it pretty well. With every comment, at least one of them had a comeback for it; Leah and I were just enjoying the free entertainment and helping everyone get drunker. The more they drank, the bigger my tips would be. We split the tips between the two of us, so if one flirted with someone, the other flirted harder with another guy. I had a very competitive nature, as did Leah, which led to very profitable nights for us both.

I was at a table near the men’s room taking care of a table when I saw Dubi walk out behind me. He stood there as though he was waiting to talk to me. I turned around and said “do you have a second?”

“I’m kind of busy,” I responded walking back towards the bar, “so walk and talk.”

“Talk to Marc, please? We came here for him and you know that. You know you like him, why fight it?”

“If I’m going to talk to anyone about it, it’s not going to be you.”

“We’re going to leave Marc by himself, go talk to him.”

I didn’t get a chance to agree or disagree, he just walked away. I continued to work the entire bar, but I did stop by Marc when the rest of the guys walked away. He had the cutest smile when he just said “hi” to me; I was getting upset with myself for smiling back…I couldn’t let myself succumb to him.

“Eric told me that you’re cute. I told him I already knew that.”

“Umm…thanks, I think.”

“He said you were funny too. My brother approves of my taste in girls.”

“Now if only the girl would approve.”

“Ouch Layla,” he responded sarcastically, “why do you have to be like that?”

“Prove to me that you aren’t going to go out with me and then never call me again and maybe I’ll give you a chance,” I said to him while walking away.

“It’s a deal!” he yelled across the bar.

The guys stayed until the bar closed, I went back to them a few times and just made small talk. Nothing was said about the challenge that I issued Marc. Right before they left, Marc handed me two tickets to the game two nights later against the Thrashers and VIP passes so that I could get into the locker room after the game. He said that he hoped to see me there. I would never turn down free tickets; I just hoped that there was nothing attached to them.

After the bar closed, I started drinking with Leah and some of the boys from the kitchen. They all kept asking me why the New York Rangers kept coming into the bar. Leah spilled that Marc liked me and I tried my hardest to keep cool about it. After they poured a few more shots for me, I started to cry and admitted that I liked Marc a lot, but I was terrified of him breaking my heart.

“Honestly, he’s sweet and he’s funny and he loves to challenge me. He makes me feel like he thinks about me all the time, but it’s just a game. He likes the chase. If I were to give in, that would be it, he would never talk to me again. The longer I keep him hanging on, the longer I actually get his attention. I like him a lot and I’m not ready to lose him yet.”

A few hours later after I spilled my guts to my co-workers, I was sufficiently intoxicated and called Kim to pick me up. She made fun of me the entire way home for not being able to hold my liquor. I did my best to hide that I was trying to drink away my feelings for Marc Staal.

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Kim was busy the night of the game, so I asked Leah since she and I both worked the afternoon shift that day. The entire train ride into the city, she was asking me about Marc and how often he texted me and if I was going to accept any invitations from him. I would change the subject to the cute boys that we had each flirted with or even the rest of the team; she wouldn’t let me forget my drunken confession. After a while, she got the hint that I didn’t want to talk about Marc. Everything about Marc scared me, especially how strongly I was starting to feel about him.

“You’re wearing his jersey,” she said.

“I know, he actually gave it to me.”

“And you’re afraid he doesn’t like you?”

“I’m not the first girl he’s given a jersey to. He just wants to get me out of it.”

“He’s hot, hun, just do it.”

“I should have that first night…before I fell for him.”

We got to our seats amongst the wealthier Ranger fans in the front of the arena and watched the game. Leah, being as big of a sports fan as I was, and I were screaming and going crazy throughout the game. I almost forgot that I was there because of one of the guys on the team; it felt like other games that I had been to, where I was just another fan.

After the game that changed, we walked through the hallway filled with press and watched as the guys filed into the locker room. Leah wanted to try to get in as soon as possible, but I wasn’t interested in seeing everyone’s junk. Security led us into the same lounge I had been in a few before when I first met the team. About a half hour later, Marc walked in.

“Hey Layla, Leah…wow, you two have similar sounding names.”

“Did you just realize this?” I retorted.

“You always have to be so nice to me, don’t you?” Marc responded, standing so close to me that I could feel his breath on my face. Leah walked out of the room, ignoring my glares telling her not to. Marc took both of my hands in his and held them up, lacing our fingers together. “Why do you have to keep denying this, Layla?” he asked.

“Denying what?”

“There’s something here. You wait a few minutes to respond to my texts even though I know you have your phone in your hand…you do it to keep me hanging on. I know the tricks. You want to talk to me as much as I want to talk to you. So why don’t you let me take you out to dinner when I get back from this road trip. If you’re not working on Tuesday night, we don’t have a game. That’s it…just dinner…I promise, nothing else.”

“Okay,” I responded. I didn’t let myself sound enthusiastic, but I didn’t sound completely disinterested either.

“Did you just say yes?”

“I think I did.”

He hugged me and spun me in a circle, but I stepped away, avoiding anything else. I walked out of the room saying, “I’ll talk to you later,” and left him wanting more.