I Couldn't Be More Afraid

---Marc’s POV---

Layla, you’ve got me on my knees, Layla, I’m begging darling please, Layla, darling won’t you ease my worried mind

I was on the bus going from one game to the next and that song came on the radio. I looked up and saw that the entire team was looking at me. I looked over at the team pain in the ass/prankster, Sean Avery and he was smiling and singing along. He had put in a CD with Layla on it just to continue the teasing that had been going on. Since joining the Rangers organization, this was the first time that I met a girl that I didn’t sleep with on the first date.

“Aves, really?” I said, commenting on the song.

“What’s the matter, Staalsy, missing your girl?” he responded in a teasing voice.

“Aves, leave him alone,” Dru responded, half laughing.

“Oh come on, Dru,” Aves started, “just messing with the kid.”

“He did this to me after I proposed to Kyla,” Cally added.

“And to me when Landon was born,” Danny chipped in.

“I’ve been on two dates with Layla…” I started, but Sean quickly interrupted me.

“Yeah and you haven’t stopped texting her since we’ve been on the road. Staalsy, you’ve got it bad for this girl.”

“He’s right, you’re her bitch,” Frolov said.

I realized that they were right, I had been talking to Layla almost nonstop since our date a few nights earlier. It sucked that I went on the road right after those amazing dates and I couldn’t wait to see her again. I found myself daydreaming about when I finally kissed her just a couple of days before.

I was teasing her about how irresistible I was when she slapped me. Her touch sent chills down my spine; I wasn’t used to a girl making me feel like that with only the slightest contact. I had been dying to kiss her from the night we met, but she made it clear that she wasn’t going to make it easy on me. The more she pulled away, the more I wanted her; she was absolutely gorgeous, I loved everything from her long legs to her wavy brown hair and beautiful blue eyes. When she slapped me, I let instincts take over and I grabbed her hand from my chest. I didn’t want to let go. When I looked in her eyes, she smiled at me, the next thing I knew, we were making out in Central Park. I don’t remember moving in to kiss her, but I’m pretty sure I saw fireworks when my lips first brushed against hers. Her kiss was intoxicating and I never wanted it to end.

It was the first time that I had waited until the end of the second date since probably high school. I kissed most girls before the first date. There was something about Layla though, something about the chase and the game that made her absolutely irresistible. There was no way I could ever let her know though. When I walked away from that kiss, I needed to go home and take a cold shower. I realized that I had given this girl way too much power over me.

“Hey Staalsy, falling asleep thinking about your girl?” Gaby said to me. His English was usually broken, but when it came to teasing me, then he spoke perfectly. The teasing from all of the guys was getting really old, really fast. I stopped texting Layla because I didn’t want to hear it anymore. Of course, I still wanted to see her, so when it came to details on getting her the tickets to the first game we’d be back home for, I needed to text her. I kept everything short and sweet. She called me a few times while I was on the road, but I didn’t answer if they guys were around. When I wasn’t talking to or about Layla, the guys seemed to lay off a little bit.

I hated how much power Layla had over me and how much I wanted to talk to her. However, in the back of my mind, I knew that by not talking to her, I was probably driving her crazy. She liked me, I knew she did, and she was probably talking to Leah, trying to figure out why I wasn’t talking to her. It was like killing two birds with one stone, the team was leaving me alone and I was making sure I stayed on Layla’s mind.

---

When we got back into town, I wanted to see her, so I made sure that she had her two tickets to the home game. I assumed that she was going to bring Leah so before the game, I talked to Dubi about distracting her. He told me one night at the bar that Leah was hot, so I wasn’t asking very much of him. Ever since he found out about Brenna cheating on him, he’d been banging a different chick in every town; from what Layla told me, Leah wasn’t exactly the monogamous type so they’d be perfect for each other, at least while I focused on getting Layla’s attention.

When we got off the plane, I saw Kyla waiting for Cally, Pam waiting for Danny, and other wives and girlfriends standing around. No one expected me to have someone because I had never really been the relationship type; but I found myself wishing that Layla was there. Somehow, Aves caught on to that and started teasing me once again.

“What’s the matter, Staalsy, wishing your girl was waiting here?”

“She’s not my girl,” I responded.

“Yeah, but she’s got you wrapped around her finger.”

Kyla overheard the conversation and came over to talk to me. Cally had told her about when I met Layla and that I had gone out with her a few times. The two of them told each other everything, so it didn’t surprise me when Kyla talked about Layla by name.

“Marc, ignore Sean, you know he’s an idiot sometimes.”

“Thanks Kyla, I don’t know what it is about this girl. She makes me not want to go near other girls, but that scares me so much that I want to hide behind other girls…if that makes sense…and the more Sean jokes about it, the more I want to stay away.” I couldn’t believe I was admitting this, but Kyla would never repeat it to anyone…except maybe Cally.

“The guys used to tease Ryan all the time, but I knew the only threat to our relationship was Danny,” she laughed, “but seriously, Marc, if you like this girl, don’t play games…be honest with her.”

“I think she likes the games.”

“Don’t play games,” Kyla repeated.
---

I was in the locker room getting ready for warm ups and I couldn’t stop thinking about seeing Layla out there. I was trying my hardest to play it cool, but Dubi could tell that there was something going on.

“She’s here, isn’t she?” he said.

“I got her tickets.”

“Where?”

“Blue line, 5th row.”

“Wow, you don’t skimp.”

“Don’t forget, it’s your job to distract Leah tonight.”

“It will be my pleasure,” he responded with a smirk.

When it was time to head out on the ice, I found myself getting nervous. If I was the one pulling the strings, I was not doing as well as I should have been. I skated onto the ice and immediately looked into the section where Layla should have been sitting. I saw her right away and noticed that she was wearing Dubi’s number instead of mine; then I looked closer and saw that Leah wasn’t the one sitting next to her, but some guy. The guy looked familiar, I had probably seen him one of the nights I visited her at work. Dubi skated over to me and quickly spotted what I was looking at. “I’m sorry, dude,” he said. I tried my best to forget about it, but I was pissed; she was supposed to be there for me. When I looked at her, she seemed to turn to the guy and start talking or laughing.

We went back to the locker room after warm ups and I was definitely pumped. I needed to play my hardest to ignore who was in the stands. I knew then and there that if I wanted to keep Layla’s attention, I would have to up my game.

“What are you doing?” I said to Dubi, noticing that he had his phone out.

“Don’t worry about it,” he responded.

“You’re texting Layla, aren’t you?”

When he didn’t respond, I knew that I was right. He wouldn’t tell me what they were talking about. I was pissed that she brought a guy to the game, but all I could do was go out there and play without showing her that I let it get to me. After the game, the guys kept asking me if Layla was coming out; I wasn’t sure I wanted her to because it meant that the guy with her was also coming. I had pretty much decided that I was going to ignore her the rest of the night when Kyla came up to me. She had to go and be the voice of reason telling me that if I ignored her, then she would probably get annoyed and that would be the end. I decided to call Layla and ask; I made sure to remain distant in the phone call, but flirtatious at the same time. She had a change of clothes with her, just as I knew she would; when she met me outside by my car, I knew that I still had the upper hand.

She introduced the guy to me as her friend, Jake; I kept repeating the word friend in my head. I also noticed that she wasn’t touching him or even walking close to him. Maybe they were just friends and it wasn’t a date; Layla even sat in the front seat on the way to the bar. The car ride was pretty silent though and it was definitely awkward; she and I didn’t know what to say to each other.

At the bar, I walked away from Layla when she went to get a drink, but beforehand I told the bartender to put anything she wanted on my tab. I hated that the guys were talking to Jake and seemed to actually be getting along with him. I looked away for a few minutes, then looked back and didn’t see Layla anymore; I scanned the bar and noticed her on a couch in the corner with Dubi. I had no idea what they were talking about, but I wanted to know. Dubi came back over to where I was and we were approached by a few fans. I made sure to flirt with these girls and making it look like they had a chance; I knew that Layla would be watching me, so I turned up the charms.

Kayla and Pam pulled me off to the side and Kyla said, “you’re girl’s sitting alone in the corner and it looks like her glass is a little empty.”

“What do you want me to do about that?”

“Bring her a drink, Marc,” Pam said, sounding frustrated. I did what they told me to do, though I was sure it was not how they meant it. I went to the bar and asked what Layla was drinking; the bartender gave me another one and I brought it over to Layla. I just handed her the drink and walked away; she looked at me like she wanted to talk, but I had to leave her waiting. The girls gave me a dirty look, but I just smiled at them and went back to flirting with the fans. When the girls we were flirting with excused themselves to the ladies’ room, I took the chance to ask Dubi what she was talking to Layla about.

“It was nothing, I just asked her why she brought Jake instead of Leah.”

“Oh yeah, what did she say?”

“He’s a friend and a fan.”

“Just a friend?”

“Yes. Just a friend. Why did you just bring her a drink and not stay to talk to her?”

“Have to keep her wanting more.”

“I really don’t get you two,” he said to me before we were rejoined by the two fangirls. These girls were completely uninteresting and obviously were trying to sleep with us and we were pretending to be interested. While we were talking to them, I noticed that Jake had left, but Layla stayed behind. It was likely that Dubi would take one of the fangirls home that night, but I only wanted one girl and she was sitting in the corner of the bar with Kyla and Pam. I wasn’t sure when they joined her, but I could see all of them looking at me.

Eventually, I saw Kyla and Pam say goodbye to Layla and they met up with Cally and Danny to leave. Layla stayed on that same couch in the corner that she had been on most of the night. It was nearing midnight and Dubi told me that I should go talk to Layla before she left; he was right, she had to be waiting for me. I walked over and sat down next to her, we were joined by yet another awkward silence.

“Are you going to sit there quietly again?” she asked me, sounding annoyed by my presence. Her tone only made me want to start with her even more.

“Where’d your date go?” I asked, trying my hardest to sound interested rather than jealous.

“Why do you care?”

“You normally come with Leah, I just expected to see her,” and Dubi was supposed to take care of her to make sure you were alone, I added to myself.

“I can give you her number if you want it.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Then what did you mean?” I froze for a second, I didn’t want to admit that I wanted to be alone with her. I had to remain calm, cool, and collected, but it wasn’t as easy as I had hoped.

“I just didn’t expect to see you with a guy, that’s all.”

“He has a girlfriend. He’s a regular at the bar and when Leah couldn’t come, we gave the ticket away to the winner of a trivia game last night,” she responded. Why would they have a trivia contest to give away the ticket? She could have just told me that she only wanted one. Having gone to the bar a few times, I knew that the regulars were all guys. I had to hide my smirk once I realized that she purposely brought a guy to make me jealous.

“So it had nothing to do with me?”

“Not everything has to do with you, Marc.” Liar

“What’s your problem tonight?”

“What are you talking about? You haven’t said more than two words to me all night…or in the past few days for that matter,” she said making me realize that she had caught on. I knew that she would notice that I was ignoring her. My plan was working and I made her think of me even more. I had this girl wrapped about my little finger and I loved every second of it.

“I don’t want to talk about this here.”

“Talk about what? You invited me out, I came out with you and your friends and I had a really nice night. I think I should head home now.”

“Come home with me,” I couldn’t believe those words had come out of my mouth. I wanted her alone, but I knew that I had to cover that up.

“I am not sleeping with you.”

“I didn’t ask you to…but we both know you want to.”