Critical Acclaim

The air was thick with smoke, the smell was of alcohol and cigarettes, people danced and chatted almost to the beat of the music that played loudly. Was that a real New Year’s celebration? Amanda wasn’t sure anymore. Walking through the small crowds gathered here and there she greeted every familiar face, making her way to what looked like the backyard she took off her heels and stepped out. Her feet touched the grass, it was fresh; cold air striking right on her face as she sat on a lawn chair watching drunk people walk around. Had it been a good idea to go there? Maybe she should just go back and spend New Year’s Eve with her daughter. Yes, that was it; she was going back to Matt’s place and welcoming the year with her little girl as she should have done in first place. Just as she stood up Zacky plopped down next to her and pulled her down, clumsily she sat back down and gave him a queer eye.

"It’s almost New Yearrr," he slurred; looking down at her watch she realized she had been sitting there for around 40 minutes, sighing she looked back at Zacky. Did she feel uncomfortable around him? That wasn’t the word. She regretted everything that had happened after Sylvia was born, she shouldn’t have said many things, and he shouldn’t have said many things either. It was almost a win-win situation, too bad there’s no turning back and she had to face this sort of moments, awkwardness was palpable in the air.

"Maybe if you hadn’t drunk so much you could actually celebrate in your 5 senses," she said trying to get up again, Zacky pulled her down again and she gave up. Crossing her arms over her chest she turned to face him and stared, giving him a rather cold glare.

"I just want to talk to you before the time runs out," he sighed looking down and then up at her, her expression didn’t change much but she spoke calmly.

"Time? What are you talking about Zack?" was her question, he smiled at her. Had she forgotten about it? No. She still remembered her warm smile, his beautiful hazel eyes, and the way he looked at her, his soft hands. Soft hands? When had he gotten a hold of her hands?

"New Year and all. I just want you to know, I’m sorry for everything I said, even more for all I did... I guess I was just scared. It’s been 4 years already, I can’t believe all that I lost, I’m aware I’m a fucking asshole and I’d give my life for you to be happy, for her to be happy. I’m sorry I just chickened out, I should have been a little more mature, I should act as the damn grown up I am and take my responsibilities. I don’t know what else to say I’m just sorry Amanda," words flooded out of Zacky’s mouth as Amanda’s eyes watered, she was ready to break down crying but she wouldn’t give in that easily, every word Zacky had said when he found out she was pregnant was still clear in her mind.

"This isn’t you; it’s the alcohol talking Zachary. You can’t think straight, you know you don’t mean what you’re saying," she said looking away as tears started to roll down her cheek. An arm snaked around her waist and Zacky’s hand pulled her face towards his, tilting it to the side her lips met his.

"I love you Amanda, I love you and Sylvia," he said. Was that enough? Every drunken person could see her arms around his neck as he held her firmly and one of his hands caressed her cheek.