First You Fall

Toni’s P.O.V.

“What the fuck is your problem Zacky? One minute you're fine and the next you can be such an asshole. The whole “douche bag” number might work on intimidating other people but with me it’s just fucking annoying. I should have known –”

“You didn’t come here to just fucking yell at me did you?” Zacky cut me off just as I was getting into it.

“What exactly were you expecting after treating me the way you did?”

“And how exactly did I treat you?” Zacky asked smoothly. He leaned back against his desk and raised an eyebrow at me. The fact that he was so calm while I was so upset only pissed me off.

“How did you treat me? Are you forgetting how you rejected me with some bullshit excuse just because you don’t want to admit that you just don’t want me here?” By now my arms were waving with every word and a red tint began creeping up my face. Both were signs of my growing anger.

“You’re making a big deal out of nothing.” Zacky said, inching closer to me. I waited until he tried to wrap his arms around me before pushing him back with all of my strength.

“Nothing? Is that what I am to you?”

“What?! Are you purposely trying to turn everything into a fucking argument?” Zacky shouted.

Part of me was happy that he was finally getting angry. Why should I be the only one getting frustrated when all of this shit was his fault anyway? The other part of me was even angrier now. It’s as if his angry only served to fuel mine.

“The only fucking thing I’ve been trying to do is move our relationship forward. Getting closer to you seems damn near impossible. Every fucking time I try you only push me away. You’ve been pushing me and pushing me and pushing me. Every goddamn thing is a fight with you now Zacky. Why do you even keep me around? Am I just some good fuck or some sick game you love to play?” I could feel the tears start to well up behind my eyes and I struggled to keep myself in check. No fucking man deserved my tears.

“It’s not like that and you fucking know it.” Zacky said his voice becoming eerily low and calm.

“Save the bullshit for the next girl you pick up.” I turned on my heel and headed for the door. I wanted out of this place before the tears started coming down.

I threw the door to Zacky’s office open and came face to face with Val and Johnny. I had only taken two steps forward before Johnny grabbed one arm and Val grabbed the other.

“No you two need to work this out.” Val said.

“I’ve go nothing left to say to him.”

Zacky’s P.O.V.

Who the fuck does she think she is?

A moment later I was storming out of my office after Toni. Johnny and Val stood just outside my office with Toni in between them.

“Nothing left to say to me?” I said, struggling not to shout at her. I might be pissed as fuck but I still didn’t want Toni gone. Yelling at her would only make it worse. Agreeing with her would be bad in the end.

Johnny and Val dropped Toni’s arms and she spun around to face me again.

“You fucking heard me.” She whispered.

Part of me preferred her when she yelled. The whispering was far worse.

“So this is how you’re going to deal with everything then? One fucking thing goes wrong and you run. You tried to feed me this bullshit about me pushing you away but you’re the one always running. Whenever the slightest thing goes wrong you’re ready to leave. What the fuck is that about? You're spitting all this bullshit about moving forward but you can’t even deal with where we’re at right now.”

“Don’t try that shit Zacky. Don’t expect me to stay every time you fuck something up. I leave because it’s easier than always going through this shit with you. I can’t just be some pathetic airhead that takes shit from you on a daily basis.”

“That’s not what you are and I’ve never treated you like that.”

“Then what am I Zacky? Just the girl you like to fuck? The girl you like to drag around like a trophy? The girl who –”

“I love.” I cut her off. “You’re the fucking girl I love.”

It felt so good to get that off my chest. So far Brian had been the only one who knew how I felt about Toni. This definitely wasn’t the way I wanted to tell her but if I hadn’t she would have walked out the door and not come back this time.

Moments passed and no one said anything. Val and Johnny stood in shock and Toni seemed lost.

“Speechless now?” I asked Toni, leaning against the wall and watching her. This seemed to snap her out of her daze.

“You’d better not be saying that just because you want me to stay.” She replied, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Only you could find the negative possibilities when a guy says he loves you.” I rolled me eyes and walked over to her. This time when I wrapped my arms around her she didn’t throw me off. Instead she put her arms around my waist and moved as close as she could to me.

“Isn’t there anything you want to say?” Val interrupted, tapping Toni on the shoulder.

“Do you mind?” Toni rolled her eyes before burying her head in my chest again.

I walked backwards into my office with Toni still in my arms. Once we were in she kicked the door shut.

“I love you too.” Toni said a couple of seconds later. I lifted her head from my chest and smiled down at her.

“I know you do.” I smirked.

“You’re such an ass.” She replied, laying her head back on my chest. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” I ran my hands through her hair.

“What now?” She asked.

“Toni listen to me, don’t ever think that I’m just using you. I love you and I love spending time with you. I just don’t think we’re ready to live together yet. We took a big step already tonight and we don’t have to keep pushing this. You can move in when we’re both ready for it, okay?” I said, still running my hands through her hair.

“I guess. But how long will that be?” Toni sighed into my chest.

“Not that long. I promise.” I placed kisses on her head. “But until then I have something to show you.”